prayers for a particular person (me)

[rozoksmaslom]

Guys. I am absolutely broken. I feel like my adversity cannot be overcome. Even according to Buddha, a fool like me, who did things I did, will never find happiness.
I just don't know what to frak do anymore.

Thanks

[Ayu]

Maybe it is important for you to hear that you are not the things you did.

Very best wishes.

[Konchog Thogme Jampa]

Guys. I am absolutely broken. I feel like my adversity cannot be overcome. Even according to Buddha, a fool like me, who did things I did, will never find happiness.
I just don't know what to frak do anymore.

Thanks

I've had a lot of obstacles for a good while too

It's all just the mind

Eventually negative karma will exhaust

Recite 'Amitabha' maybe Other Power can help amidst these difficulties

[PadmaVonSamba]

Guys. I am absolutely broken. I feel like my adversity cannot be overcome. Even according to Buddha, a fool like me, who did things I did, will never find happiness.
I just don't know what to frak do anymore.

Thanks

What seems to be the problem?

[PadmaVonSamba]

I just don't know what to frak do anymore.

When there’s nothing let you can do,
Try doing nothing.

Just sit, watch the breath.

[Johnny Dangerous]

Guys. I am absolutely broken. I feel like my adversity cannot be overcome. Even according to Buddha, a fool like me, who did things I did, will never find happiness.
I just don't know what to frak do anymore.

Thanks

We are all fools building our own prisons, it’s the nature of samsara.

The best we can do with that is gain awareness of our self-created cages and in doing so develop the spirit of emergence from samsara, while helping others do the same. That is the path which brings relief, everything else is just a house of cards really.

Whatever mistakes you’ve made, they’ve been made by others and will be made again, developing a genuine heart and willingness to change (you will change no matter what actually, the choice is how) while accepting oneself is the path forward, beating oneself up is not.

[PadmaVonSamba]

Even according to Buddha, a fool like me, who did things I did, will never find happiness.

The Buddha doesn’t say that.
Otherwise his teachings would be pointless.
This is because the untroubled mind is the original mind of all beings. It’s just a matter of finding it.

What’s foolish is to ignore good advice when you have asked people for it, and they offer it.

[pemachophel]

Buddha gave numerous practices for purifying even the five demeritorious actions of immediate consequence. So, of course, all other demeritorious actions can also be purified with the right practices. To think otherwise is itself the 10th demeritorious action of wrong view.

[Konchog Thogme Jampa]

Buddhism is a toolkit you could say of escaping the horrors of Samsara

Buddha gave numerous practices for purifying even the five demeritorious actions of immediate consequence. So, of course, all other demeritorious actions can also be purified with the right practices. To think otherwise is itself the 10th demeritorious action of wrong view.

[rozoksmaslom]

Thanks to all for the replies

Eventually negative karma will exhaust

In theory, yes. My situation is that it keeps on repeating, recreating itself, in a way. And it's out of my control, like I can't avoid it. I would get into detail why, but Buddha really did not advised to complain and also to talk about dangers, afaik.

The Buddha doesn’t say that.
Otherwise his teachings would be pointless.

131. One who, while himself seeking happiness, oppresses with violence other beings who also desire happiness, will not attain happiness hereafter.

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .budd.html

[rozoksmaslom]

Buddha gave numerous practices for purifying even the five demeritorious actions of immediate consequence. So, of course, all other demeritorious actions can also be purified with the right practices. To think otherwise is itself the 10th demeritorious action of wrong view.

Hi there, could you recommend any practices, please?

I did the Vajrasattva mantra on 2 or 3 occasions. They actually helped immediately with healing my bad stomach (ulcer), but not with the big issue I've been having for the last 6 years. I stopped doing it, because I've read (via Lama Zopa Rinpoche's website), can't remember the exact quote, but he said something along the lines that after the mantra recitation, if some mistakes, or some type of unskillful action would take place, basically your path to enlightenment will become extremely difficult, or something like that. I don't want any more obstacles, tbh.

I also don't have a teacher, so I am really wary of doing any other practices on my own, other than some basic/vipassana meditation.

[rozoksmaslom]

Guys. I am absolutely broken. I feel like my adversity cannot be overcome. Even according to Buddha, a fool like me, who did things I did, will never find happiness.
I just don't know what to frak do anymore.

Thanks

What seems to be the problem?

Alright, here we go, it's gonna be long.
I spoke about it in my "rant" threads, but basically I have a weird, bizzare situation, that you and I have never heard of before. I've been dealing with it, in various forms, for around 6 years now.
Nowadays, it's like this: If I touch food or drink, that has any amount of sugar in it, I "demanifest" (which is the opposite of manifesting something) almost everything at my disposal, things that I have (be it material or non-material, it can be my PC, a car, an agreement, or just being able to be in the house). The material things don't go away, nothing happens to the actual thing, but I am no longer able to use it without experiencing horrible side effects. Which include sharp and burning pains around my scalp area and now even pain in my ears. I lost hearing in my left ear and now I am worried I will lose hearing in my right one as well.
That's not the worst part tho. All this basically has a very distinct feeling of "I shouldn't be doing this." sense of vibe (when using my PC, a car, or even talking to someone, I have found). Life would kind of stop to work in my favor, basically. Even if something "good" would happen, like receiving some money, I can't buy anything with that money, because I will experience all those things I mentioned earlier, if I used the thing I bought with that money.
It's like chain reaction, or a train.
I actually experience very sharp pains in my ears at this moment, typing on this forum, using this PC. It would really go away, if I turned it off and went outside the house.
You may (and probably will) say all this is random and doesn't connect to me touching foods with sugar, but it's beyond obvious to me. I was feeling fine for most of the day today, until... and this is where it gets super crazy.... well, when I say touch foods with sugar, I mean literally, just touch. Not even byting. Just touch the candy in it's packaging. Wait, there's more. The same thing "happens" when I (needless to say, by accident) touch an object that touches the sugary food. Like a coffee kettle, that it's cable is touching a tray with a cake. This is literally my life. I have never heard of anything as bizarre in my life.

[Konchog Thogme Jampa]

Thanks to all for the replies

Eventually negative karma will exhaust

In theory, yes. My situation is that it keeps on repeating, recreating itself, in a way. And it's out of my control, like I can't avoid it. I would get into detail why, but Buddha really did not advised to complain and also to talk about dangers, afaik.

The Buddha doesn’t say that.
Otherwise his teachings would be pointless.

131. One who, while himself seeking happiness, oppresses with violence other beings who also desire happiness, will not attain happiness hereafter.

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .budd.html

You could ask a Ngagpa or someone for the transmission of Vajrasattva then just practice with their support make some offering in return

All you'd do is purify negative karma

Maybe there would be some Samaya to keep

Hope you overcome this soon

[PadmaVonSamba]

The Buddha doesn’t say that.
Otherwise his teachings would be pointless.

131. One who, while himself seeking happiness, oppresses with violence other beings who also desire happiness, will not attain happiness hereafter.

Where does it say “never” (the word you used in your OP)?
Yeah, if one keeps practicing violence, from now and hereafter one will never be happy. But if you stop being violent and begin to practice kindness and compassion, that changes things up a bit, doesn’t it?
Are you familiar with the idea of impermanence?

[rozoksmaslom]

You could ask a Ngagpa or someone for the transmission of Vajrasattva then just practice with their support make some offering in return

All you'd do is purify negative karma

Maybe there would be some Samaya to keep

Hope you overcome this soon

Hello, thank you very much for the suggestion, but I don't think vajrayana buddhism is for me. Sometimes, I can be an undisciplined person and I am sure I would make some kind of mistake, making my life even more difficult, perhaps.
(here Lama Zopa Rinpoche explains this: https://fpmt.app.box.com/s/swht8cg4xokl ... l8uwcqmxey
the part is titled as Even Though You Can Purify Negative Karma, by Committing It Again and Again, Your Realizations Are Postponed)

[rozoksmaslom]

The Buddha doesn’t say that.
Otherwise his teachings would be pointless.

131. One who, while himself seeking happiness, oppresses with violence other beings who also desire happiness, will not attain happiness hereafter.

Where does it say “never” (the word you used in your OP)?
Yeah, if one keeps practicing violence, from now and hereafter one will never be happy. But if you stop being violent and begin to practice kindness and compassion, that changes things up a bit, doesn’t it?
Are you familiar with the idea of impermanence?

I guess I can't comprehend simple english.
Yes I am familiar with the idea of impermanence.

[PadmaVonSamba]

I guess I can't comprehend simple english.
Yes I am familiar with the idea of impermanence.

Impermanence is a central point in Buddhism. Everything arises because of conditions and changes according to conditions. If a person is violent, they create conditions that arise with being violent. If a person is kind and compassionate, they create the conditions that arise from being kind and compassionate.

This means that even if you have done harmful actions in the past, the effects from that will only last as long as the conditions you created exist.

It’s like building a fire and putting logs onto it. The fire will only burn for as long as you keep feeding it. If you stop adding wood to it, the fire will eventually go out. If you have already put a lot of wood onto the fire, then it may take a long time before the fire goes out. But eventually it will go out.

If you have been a violent person in the past, then practicing kindness and compassion now not only is the same as not adding more wood to the fire, but it is also a little bit like putting water on the fire, which stops whatever wood has not burned from burning.

By practicing positive actions, you reduce or eliminate committing additional negative actions in the future. If you don’t commit more negative actions in the future, you won’t suffer additional negative results in the future.

[Konchog Thogme Jampa]

You could ask a Ngagpa or someone for the transmission of Vajrasattva then just practice with their support make some offering in return

All you'd do is purify negative karma

Maybe there would be some Samaya to keep

Hope you overcome this soon

Hello, thank you very much for the suggestion, but I don't think vajrayana buddhism is for me. Sometimes, I can be an undisciplined person and I am sure I would make some kind of mistake, making my life even more difficult, perhaps.
(here Lama Zopa Rinpoche explains this: https://fpmt.app.box.com/s/swht8cg4xokl ... l8uwcqmxey
the part is titled as Even Though You Can Purify Negative Karma, by Committing It Again and Again, Your Realizations Are Postponed)

You can always recite Om Mani Padme Hum works like magic

Anyway hope you feel better

[rozoksmaslom]

I guess I can't comprehend simple english.
Yes I am familiar with the idea of impermanence.

Impermanence is a central point in Buddhism. Everything arises because of conditions and changes according to conditions. If a person is violent, they create conditions that arise with being violent. If a person is kind and compassionate, they create the conditions that arise from being kind and compassionate.

This means that even if you have done harmful actions in the past, the effects from that will only last as long as the conditions you created exist.

It’s like building a fire and putting logs onto it. The fire will only burn for as long as you keep feeding it. If you stop adding wood to it, the fire will eventually go out. If you have already put a lot of wood onto the fire, then it may take a long time before the fire goes out. But eventually it will go out.

If you have been a violent person in the past, then practicing kindness and compassion now not only is the same as not adding more wood to the fire, but it is also a little bit like putting water on the fire, which stops whatever wood has not burned from burning.

By practicing positive actions, you reduce or eliminate committing additional negative actions in the future. If you don’t commit more negative actions in the future, you won’t suffer additional negative results in the future.

Yes, but then there are mistakes which can cause permanent effects (for at least a lifetime). I am not sure if my problem is permanent or can be fixed (which thankfully, at least leaves me some room for hope), but I am yet to find a solution on how to prevent these "conditions that cause these effects" from happening. As it's sometimes involuntary, sometimes accidentary (without any actual good or bad intentions).

[PadmaVonSamba]

[I am not sure if my problem is permanent or can be fixed (which thankfully, at least leaves me some room for hope), but I am yet to find a solution on how to prevent these "conditions that cause these effects" from happening. As it's sometimes involuntary, sometimes accidentary (without any actual good or bad intentions).

Everybody has to live with their mistakes.
But if doesn’t mean that we have to repeat them.
Don’t blame misfortunes on causes that have nothing to do with them.