Depreciating Christmas

[PeterC]

We need to revert back to the pagan winter solstice. Sacrifices to the gods, feasts, drunken orgies.

Make Christmas Great Again!

[Ayu]

Everyone has a responsibility for something...

I think, that is the right way to make Christmas run smoothly. It's not mama's solo party.

[Kim O'Hara]

Everyone has a responsibility for something...

I think, that is the right way to make Christmas run smoothly. It's not mama's solo party.

Agreed! By the time children are adults, they should contribute - even to the extent of being the hosts for the family Christmas get-together.

We're at that stage. Christmas lunch rotates year by year between four households, and the visitors bring something - salad, main course or dessert, and perhaps drinks or bon-bons (no young children are involved, which probably makes it easier). This has evolved over some years in our family. If it hasn't started happening in yours, you probably should start that conversation before this time next year.


Kim

[Ayu]

Christmas is the season if giving, right? That's a very high Buddhist virtue. Bodhisattva gives without thought of three wheels right? Who is trying so hard to do what for whom? Merit is not lower than vanity, is it? Regret in generosity destroys merit. Isn't this a season when accumulating merit is the custom?

Christmas is a special time. I grew up around Hindus qnd Christians. Every culture has it's season of giving and lots of effort. Embrace giving. If the Buddhist special days don't feel special to you, make these your special Buddhist days.

Good thoughts. Thank you.

I will be all alone again this Christmas. You with families are the lucky ones. Imagine having nothing and no one while others prepare their feasts and open gifts.

Well, yesterday this was what I dreamed of. No lazy disparaging people, no Christmas, just my altar, some candles and me. Nobody who shouts at me just because I said twice: "Don't touch the tree. It doesn't stand fixed, it's ready to fall."

But now I understand: it is just like it is. The only real problem about Christmas is EXPECTATION. I decide to drop that. I am not going to celebrate Christmas with all these expectations for perfection, joyfulness and problemlessness. No. People may feel as grumpy as they like. It's their decision and they have their own reasons for it.
I'll just invite them for to spend some time together. I'm not in charge for their mood.

[Natan]

I will be all alone again this Christmas. You with families are the lucky ones. Imagine having nothing and no one while others prepare their feasts and open gifts.

Sorry to hear that hope you'll be OK 🫠

I'm fine. My lama taught me to make dharma my best friend.

[Konchog Thogme Jampa]

I will be all alone again this Christmas. You with families are the lucky ones. Imagine having nothing and no one while others prepare their feasts and open gifts.

Sorry to hear that hope you'll be OK 🫠

I'm fine. My lama taught me to make dharma my best friend.

You're not missing too much imo I've got sisters who treat my Mother with no respect and a husband of one of them who drinks a lot probably an alcoholic I'd rather be left alone and just meditate take care of my mother works beautifully

[Natan]

Sorry to hear that hope you'll be OK 🫠

I'm fine. My lama taught me to make dharma my best friend.

You're not missing too much imo I've got sisters who treat my Mother with no respect and a husband of one of them who drinks a lot probably an alcoholic I'd rather be left alone and just meditate take care of my mother works beautifully

That's a very good opportunity to practice six perfections and Bodhicitta.

[Konchog Thogme Jampa]

I'm fine. My lama taught me to make dharma my best friend.

You're not missing too much imo I've got sisters who treat my Mother with no respect and a husband of one of them who drinks a lot probably an alcoholic I'd rather be left alone and just meditate take care of my mother works beautifully

That's a very good opportunity to practice six perfections and Bodhicitta.

I'm trying

Good advice thanks

[KathyLauren]

That's a very good opportunity to practice six perfections and Bodhicitta.

Yes, this.

I object to the enforced participation. I lost count of how many conversations like this I had with my mother over the years:

K: But I'm Buddhist.
M: All religions celebrate something at Christmas time.
K: Actually, no, not all do.
M: But you have to. You'll be miserable if you don't.
K: Actually, I'll be miserable if I do.
M: But you can't be alone at Christmas.
K: Why not?
M: Because it's Christmas!
K: [Argh! *Breathe*. Just *breathe*.]

Nowadays, my wife and I send cards to people who sent us cards the year before. We hang lights on the house. We tell people that we've completed our Christmas shopping early (like 10 years ago! ), and that we are just keeping things low-key at Christmas. No tree. No presents. No pressure. No travelling. No family obligations. We have some "storm chips", maybe an extra dessert, and watch a bit of Netflix. And practise patience.

Om mani padme hum
Kathy

[Natan]

That's a very good opportunity to practice six perfections and Bodhicitta.

Yes, this.

I object to the enforced participation. I lost count of how many conversations like this I had with my mother over the years:

K: But I'm Buddhist.
M: All religions celebrate something at Christmas time.
K: Actually, no, not all do.
M: But you have to. You'll be miserable if you don't.
K: Actually, I'll be miserable if I do.
M: But you can't be alone at Christmas.
K: Why not?
M: Because it's Christmas!
K: [Argh! *Breathe*. Just *breathe*.]

Nowadays, my wife and I send cards to people who sent us cards the year before. We hang lights on the house. We tell people that we've completed our Christmas shopping early (like 10 years ago! ), and that we are just keeping things low-key at Christmas. No tree. No presents. No pressure. No travelling. No family obligations. We have some "storm chips", maybe an extra dessert, and watch a bit of Netflix. And practise patience.

Om mani padme hum
Kathy

Buddhism is a spirit of generosity. It's openness.

[Kim O'Hara]

Buddhism is a spirit of generosity. It's openness.

Yes, but that openness does not constitute any sort of obligation whatsoever to participate in the irrelevant rituals of other faiths.

We should show universal compassion by all means. It's always good to give to the poor, but there's no need to tie that to Christmas. it's good to wish everyone a happy christmas and new year and exchange gifts with those close to us, and share christmas dinner with family but only if we feel like it. We might even be okay to go to midnight mass.

And the borderline between what we think is okay and what we will refuse is quite individual - and that's fine, too. Just as we do with other events, we weigh up the pros and cons (it would be nice to see so-and-so, but it's a long way away, but the food will be good, but your mother-in-law will drink too much and start a fight, etc, etc) and ... choose. That's it, and that's all.
Christmas as such is irrelevant to us as Buddhists, although Christmas as a community celebration is highly relevant to us as community members. That's why is gets complicated.

Anyway, I am able to say here that I have negotiated Christmas fairly successfully again this year. I didn't upset any of my Christian friends (much) by casting doubt on their faith, I held back from political discussions with my looniest-right-wing distant relatives, Christmas lunch with close family was happy and friendly, and now my obligations are fulfilled.


Kim

[Toenail]

You could make it a bit Buddhist. I offer the Christmas tree to the merit field every year

[muni]

The only real problem about Christmas is EXPECTATION.

Yes, that is what creates so much suffering!

Anyway, I send my respectful wishes for joy, harmony, equanimity, love and peace to my Christian sisters and brothers.

Merry Christmas.

[Kim O'Hara]

Here's one of our better songwriters, with mixed feelings about the festival. He doesn't lecture, but may reconcile some of us to to it.





Kim

[Archie2009]

[anagarika]

All this fuss over Chistmas is just stupid.

Opinion seconded, even though I don´t have a family.

[Miorita]

The lamas at GBI perform prayers for the Living:



A true bodhisattva never lets their guard down, never ceases to help beings on their path.

Om Ah Hung

Grattitude to HE Garchen Rinpoche for standing guard for sentient beings!

[Sādhaka]

All this fuss over Chistmas is just stupid.

Pretty much.

https://www.dharmawheel.net/viewtopic.p ... 77#p651177

[Kim O'Hara]

Christmas serving a useful social purpose -

Kyiv residents sing Christmas carols in city's metro amid air raid alarm

Oksana Sobko, 47 — coordinator of the Kyiv Kolyada community — said this year they decided to meet in the underground to save carollers in case of an air raid.

"Maybe our enemies would like us to sit down and cry over those killed, over what is happening now," Sobko said while holding back tears talking to people gathered at the metro station.

"But we will carol."

One Kyiv resident, Yaroslav Melnychuk, 25, said of the gathering: "It's just incredible, it's really impossible to describe in words." ...

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-12-26/ ... /101809110

Also, Ukrainian Christians used to celebrate Christmas in early January but many celebrated on December 25 after their church's break from the Russian Orthodox church, some saying they preferred to celebrate with Europe.


Kim

[Miorita]

But wait!
Come in band! Sing now!