Do you get sad?

[yinyangkoi]

Is it possible to never be sad? I am asking in regards to the 3 sightings. Everytime I see my parents they are older and older, and there seems to be no escape, it makes me sad. Or when I someone suffer, I get a sad feeling. Can you never be sad? Is it making me suffer because of the saddnes, or because of the desire to be free from sadness?

[PadmaVonSamba]

There can be lots of things that make other people sad but that don’t make you sad. It’s possible to be pretty happy most of the time, to have a cheerful outlook on life and so on. But if there is a cause for sadness, then sadness will be the result.
Personally, I rarely get sad or upset about things. But some things make me really sad, like when a pet dies.

[Ayu]

I think, in a certain perspective it's possible to be not sad.
It's said, a Buddha won't become sad, because he has overcome selfish concepts and he onnisciently understands how the things are arising and ceasing all the time.
IMHO sadness is a valid feeling. If it's there, it's there. One can experiment how and when it ceases. In my case it's even connected to wrong food only.
I think, it's working best to go into the sadness, explore it and then go out again.

[Johnny Dangerous]

That kind of sadness can be good for developing a sense of renunciation for samsara. It’s only a problem insomuch as we get consumed with it or respond to our feelings with nihilism.

It’s different for people who are not Dharma people I think, but for those that are it is possible that if we look deeply enough at that kind of sadness it is a door to great compassion.

According to the Buddha (Pali version) instead of fretting about it we should “pull out the arrow of pain, lamentation and despair”. So yes, it is possible to not feel sadness, but I think most of us could probably be ok just feeling it fully and putting it towards something skillful, I doubt we are anywhere near not having it.

I guess in Mahayana terms we could say “the arrow” is our self-grasping.
In general though, trying to actively push away emotions is a form of aversion, which often makes them stronger.

Funnily enough, acceptance of feelings tends to be what makes them sting less, in my experience.

[anjali]

Is it possible to never be sad? I am asking in regards to the 3 sightings. Everytime I see my parents they are older and older, and there seems to be no escape, it makes me sad. Or when I someone suffer, I get a sad feeling. Can you never be sad? Is it making me suffer because of the saddnes, or because of the desire to be free from sadness?

No, I don't believe it it possible to never be sad, as long as we have an ego.
Sadness is a very rich emotion, and is a great Dharma teacher. I've experienced a lot of it in my life (as I suspect many of us have). Of course I don't wish for it. But when it does arise, I try to let it teach me about the transience of this world.

Here is a quote from Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche (Tibetan Buddhist teacher), from his book, Sadness, Love, Openness.

Reflecting on impermanence is not meant to make us miserable. But without that sorrow of knowing nothing will last, we will never get anywhere on our path. Sadness makes it possible for us to gain something that is much more precious than anything we could imagine. That is why we must contemplate impermanence. If there were nothing to gain, it would be foolish to think about these things—we would just be making ourselves miserable for no reason. But there’s a deep meaning to it all. When it dawns on us what the world is actually like, and we are consequently struck by overwhelming sadness, the next step comes naturally. We draw the logical conclusion that all things are impermanent and begin training in letting go.

[yinyangkoi]

No, I don't believe it it possible to never be sad, as long as we have an ego.
Sadness is a very rich emotion, and is a great Dharma teacher. I've experienced a lot of it in my life (as I suspect many of us have). Of course I don't wish for it. But when it does arise, I try to let it teach me about the transience of this world.

Well yes, you can't be sad if you are dead. I get sad and I wish I could just make everyone happy forever

[anjali]

I get sad and I wish I could just make everyone happy forever

Yes, that happens. It shows you have a caring heart.

Are you familiar with Avalokiteśvara/Guan Yin? One interpretation of the name is, "s/he who hears the cries of the world," with a heart vast enough to embrace the sufferings of all sentient beings.

How is such a thing possible without being overwhelmed with grief? Preventing overwhelm is found in cultivating equinimity (upekṣā), one of the four Brahmaviharas, well known by most Buddhists.

Great masters have shed many tears for the suffering of others. And I suspect there are those here on DW who have shed a few tears as well.

[Knotty Veneer]

Is it possible to never be sad? I am asking in regards to the 3 sightings. Everytime I see my parents they are older and older, and there seems to be no escape, it makes me sad. Or when I someone suffer, I get a sad feeling. Can you never be sad? Is it making me suffer because of the saddnes, or because of the desire to be free from sadness?

I think it is both impossible and undesirable to be free from sadness. If you don't know sadness, you cannot know compassion in any real sense for another's suffering.

Last year I lost both my parents and my wife all within a few short months. And I have felt sad, especially about the loss of my wife, at some point every day since. I doubt I will ever feel anything but sadness that she died young and is no longer in my life.

But that is OK. Rather than seeking to be free from sadness, instead I think it is important to know that it is part of what makes us human. Feelings of sadness need not overwhelm us, we can learn through meditation practice to let them be and not run away from them. My sadness exists because I loved my wife. Through knowing the sadness of loss, maybe I can better understand the sadness that every human being feels as we all will lose someone we care about.

Don't run away from sadness. Learn to be with it and let it help you reach out to someone else in their suffering.