Revenge

[master of puppets]

Do you ever have a feeling of revenge?

and what you do??

[muni]

Do you ever have a feeling of revenge?

and what you do??

No, we are here all as holy as can be.

Actually for me not so revenge but reacting thoughts. That is perhaps a bit different but brings as well negative feelings who are then starting to interact with more thoughts, samsara rocks.

But slowly ( very) there is a recognition how negative feelings destroy much more inner peace than anything else! When these feelings come I try to recognize 'where' they arise. Then they disappear as never been.
And when not aware; the suffering result is the teaching. Like when you put your finger in the fire, there is the recognition of aaaaa: hot! Put it again, ouch, put it again, damned...however this is easier, there are only ten of them.

[Kim O'Hara]

Here you are, right at the start of the Dhammapada:

3. "He abused me, he struck me, he overpowered me, he robbed me." Those who harbor such thoughts do not still their hatred.

4. "He abused me, he struck me, he overpowered me, he robbed me." Those who do not harbor such thoughts still their hatred.

5. Hatred is never appeased by hatred in this world. By non-hatred alone is hatred appeased. This is a law eternal.

6. There are those who do not realize that one day we all must die. But those who do realize this settle their quarrels.

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .budd.html




Kim

[muni]

Here you are, right at the start of the Dhammapada:

3. "He abused me, he struck me, he overpowered me, he robbed me." Those who harbor such thoughts do not still their hatred.

4. "He abused me, he struck me, he overpowered me, he robbed me." Those who do not harbor such thoughts still their hatred.

5. Hatred is never appeased by hatred in this world. By non-hatred alone is hatred appeased. This is a law eternal.

6. There are those who do not realize that one day we all must die. But those who do realize this settle their quarrels.

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .budd.html




Kim

Good example of negativity ( the highest one) but is revenge by hatred? I thought not, but it could.
Children for example often take revenge but have therefore not such strong destructive feelings.

[PadmaVonSamba]

There are a lot of vows in Buddhism but revenge is to e of them.

I will say that no, I never seriously think of taking revenge. But I also don’t think this is an especially holy position. I think it has more to do with how people are raised. In some cultures for example, if you don’t take revenge it’s like you’ve dus graced your family or whatever.

I do, however, imagine funny or embarrassing acts of revenge. But I’d never actually do them.

[Bristollad]

Good example of negativity ( the highest one) but is revenge by hatred? I thought not, but it could.
Children for example often take revenge but have therefore not such strong destructive feelings.

I have always associated revenge with hatred; what other motivation would there be?
As a child I hated those that hurt me and took revenge as often as I thought I could get away with it. In my experience, many children have a lot of anger and hatred.

[明安 Myoan]

I read the Wheel of Sharp Weapons. I often find my exact situation in there

[muni]

I have always associated revenge with hatred; what other motivation would there be?

Craving for some satisfaction after dissatisfaction.
A man forgets flowers for his wife on mothers day, she decides to not iron his preferred trousers. Lol.

[Kim O'Hara]

I have always associated revenge with hatred; what other motivation would there be?

Craving for some satisfaction after dissatisfaction.
A man forgets flowers for his wife on mothers day, she decides to not iron his preferred trousers. Lol.

Yes, that's still revenge - small revenge, petty revenge.
But it is also still hatred - small hatred, irritation.

If you look at the Three Poisons, they are Attraction, Aversion and Ignorance, although we sometimes use narrower words like Lust and Anger.
Attraction covers a wide range. So does Aversion - everything from murderous rage through to refusing to iron a particular pair of trousers.


Kim

[SkyFox]

There are a lot of vows in Buddhism but revenge is to e of them.
In some cultures for example, if you don’t take revenge it’s like you’ve disgraced your family or whatever.

Ya in Chinese/Vietnamese culture, it's call saving face; kinda like an ego thing. Saw a 5'7-5'10 man tried to rush at a dude who was 6'4-6'7 all for the sake of saving face. Of course he was aware that security would never let him get near the other guy, and that gave him the courage.

So what do you guys do when it's something minor like someone cutting you in line? Do you let it go or confront them? I had that happened today, and I was torn between telling them off and just letting it go. Seriously, I only had to wait a few second longer, but the ego kept telling me how weak I was. On the other hand, I would've hate to make a scene on such a petty thing, and another part of me feels that it would be good karma to let it go.

[Johnny Dangerous]

Victory begets enmity; the defeated dwell in pain. Happily the peaceful live, discarding both victory and defeat.

[Miles Drake]

Hi
When we cut to the heart of the matter it all comes down to ownership. Feeling something that is owned or wanted as being threatened really stirs up our animal thinking. Oh my... that self I have so carefully crafted is under attack... maybe I feel like I lost and and am owed something. Maybe I am just scared and want to "share" my pain.

All that thinking has one big problem. It all relies on ownership. On having a personal vested interest. A personal view/opinion. A self.
To that end, the wise tell us to put it all down. Put down all owned views and opinions. Put it all down. Put down the past. Don't need it in this moment. Only way thinking about getting even could get into this moment is if an "I" brings it to the moment.

Going back to the Dhammapada, the opening verse... "Mind precedes all mental states. Mind is their chief; they are all mind-wrought. Because thinking makes our world, all we have to do is simply think of a world where there is nothing so owned that revenge is even an option.

Peace

Wisdom first in all things.


https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .budd.html

[seeker242]

Recognize that those feelings are not skillful to indulge in, support, feed, etc. and also recognizing the fact that getting revenge isn’t actually going to do anything significant or solve any problem.

[PadmaVonSamba]

So what do you guys do when it's something minor like someone cutting you in line? Do you let it go or confront them? I had that happened today, and I was torn between telling them off and just letting it go. Seriously, I only had to wait a few second longer, but the ego kept telling me how weak I was.

I think maybe whatever one’s reaction is, it must be something a person is conditioned to feel.
To me, the sense of feeling weak seems really strange. I always see the bully as the weaker person.

I always see a selfish person or bully with some sadness. I think, “wow that person must really be insecure or have a lot of mental issues”, and I feel sorry for them.

One night some man punched me on the side of the face and knocked me down. Actually, it didn’t really hurt that much. But my first thought was, “I wonder what’s wrong with that guy?” and I knew that while I would soon heal, whatever he was sick with would be with him for a long time, and would eventually probably cause him more problems than he caused for me.

People act badly because they are suffering inside.
A person who is at peace inside has no need to act rudely or violently to get what they want.

What need is there for personal revenge then?

[muni]

A man forgets flowers for his wife on mothers day, she decides to not iron his preferred trousers. Lol.

Yes, that's still revenge - small revenge, petty revenge.
But it is also still hatred - small hatred, irritation.

Small revenge, small hatred? So cute!

However, I find it a bit too generalized, bit heavy as well, seeing each irritation among people as hatred. I can call it somehow revenge. Someone throwing a bucket of water over your head, could get one back, in playful way, saying hahaaaa! Revenge! I mean I still cannot see how revenge is always hatred, but that is okay.

[Kim O'Hara]

A man forgets flowers for his wife on mothers day, she decides to not iron his preferred trousers. Lol.

Yes, that's still revenge - small revenge, petty revenge.
But it is also still hatred - small hatred, irritation.

Small revenge, small hatred? So cute!

However, I find it a bit too generalized, bit heavy as well, seeing each irritation among people as hatred. I can call it somehow revenge. Someone throwing a bucket of water over your head, could get one back, in playful way, saying hahaaaa! Revenge! I mean I still cannot see how revenge is always hatred, but that is okay.

Perhaps you need to read the rest of my post to make sense of the bits you quoted:

If you look at the Three Poisons, they are Attraction, Aversion and Ignorance, although we sometimes use narrower words like Lust and Anger.
Attraction covers a wide range. So does Aversion - everything from murderous rage through to refusing to iron a particular pair of trousers.


Kim

Kim

[SkyFox]

So what do you guys do when it's something minor like someone cutting you in line? Do you let it go or confront them? I had that happened today, and I was torn between telling them off and just letting it go. Seriously, I only had to wait a few second longer, but the ego kept telling me how weak I was.

I think maybe whatever one’s reaction is, it must be something a person is conditioned to feel.
To me, the sense of feeling weak seems really strange. I always see the bully as the weaker person.

I always see a selfish person or bully with some sadness. I think, “wow that person must really be insecure or have a lot of mental issues”, and I feel sorry for them.

People act badly because they are suffering inside.
A person who is at peace inside has no need to act rudely or violently to get what they want.

What need is there for personal revenge then?

Ya, I agree with this. That's how I rationalize things too. Why else would you feel the need to inflict pain on others if you yourself weren't in pain? And yes, I'm trying hard to get rid of my own conditioning. This is something that probably originated from school; the need to always defend your "pride." Sometimes I think to myself that if the Buddha could handle being spat on with a smile, why can't I let go of such a petty thing. Although I have to admit that knowledge and emotion tend to be out of sync for most people.

What angered me even more about the event was that the person, a Vietnamese like me, acknowledged the white person next to me as coming in first; clearly the person was afraid of the consequences.

[muni]

A man forgets flowers for his wife on mothers day, she decides to not iron his preferred trousers. Lol.

Yes, that's still revenge - small revenge, petty revenge.
But it is also still hatred - small hatred, irritation.

Small revenge, small hatred? So cute!

However, I find it a bit too generalized, bit heavy as well, seeing each irritation among people as hatred. I can call it somehow revenge. Someone throwing a bucket of water over your head, could get one back, in playful way, saying hahaaaa! Revenge! I mean I still cannot see how revenge is always hatred, but that is okay.

Perhaps you need to read the rest of my post to make sense of the bits you quoted:

If you look at the Three Poisons, they are Attraction, Aversion and Ignorance, although we sometimes use narrower words like Lust and Anger.
Attraction covers a wide range. So does Aversion - everything from murderous rage through to refusing to iron a particular pair of trousers.


Kim

Kim