Developing real-world Compassion -books/teaching reccomendations?

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Vasana
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Developing real-world Compassion -books/teaching reccomendations?

Post by Vasana »

We all know compassion and loving-kindness is central to many Buddhist teachings yet the notion of having compassion for 'all sentient beings' can feel very abstract and disconnected from our own lived experiences of the world.

What things have helped you develop tangible compassion and warm-heartedness?

Which lojong texts and practices have people found particularly helpful?

Any secular or scientific works worth looking at?
'When thoughts arise, recognise them clearly as your teacher'— Gampopa
'When alone, examine your mind, when among others, examine your speech'.— Atisha
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Re: Developing real-world Compassion -books/teaching reccomendations?

Post by Johnny Dangerous »

Lojong: Traleg Kyabgons book, To Dispel The Misery of the World, this text: https://www.lotsawahouse.org/tibetan-ma ... -happiness

There are a ton of others, these are what comes to mind.

As to secular stuff, I’d say Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, especially the final bit where he goes into his personal philosophy of “tragic optimism”.
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when afflicted by disease

Meditate upon Bodhicitta when sad

Meditate upon Bodhicitta when suffering occurs

Meditate upon Bodhicitta when you are scared

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Re: Developing real-world Compassion -books/teaching reccomendations?

Post by Ayu »

In the Gelug lineage, Che Tsongkhapa taught some methods and aspects in his Lam Rim.
For me, this teaching was convincing and understandable: "Equalizing and Exchanging Self with Others"
https://studybuddhism.com/en/tibetan-bu ... ith-others
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Re: Developing real-world Compassion -books/teaching reccomendations?

Post by Vasana »

Johnny Dangerous wrote: Sun Mar 26, 2023 4:46 am Lojong: Traleg Kyabgons book, To Dispel The Misery of the World, this text: https://www.lotsawahouse.org/tibetan-ma ... -happiness

There are a ton of others, these are what comes to mind.

As to secular stuff, I’d say Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, especially the final bit where he goes into his personal philosophy of “tragic optimism”.
Thanks. I have the audio files for a retreat Alan Wallace led on the text you linked. I should revisit it.
'When thoughts arise, recognise them clearly as your teacher'— Gampopa
'When alone, examine your mind, when among others, examine your speech'.— Atisha
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Re: Developing real-world Compassion -books/teaching reccomendations?

Post by Vasana »

Ayu wrote: Sun Mar 26, 2023 7:42 am In the Gelug lineage, Che Tsongkhapa taught some methods and aspects in his Lam Rim.
For me, this teaching was convincing and understandable: "Equalizing and Exchanging Self with Others"
https://studybuddhism.com/en/tibetan-bu ... ith-others
I should probably commit to this kind of practice more, I just find it a bit long-winded to incorporate into a busy schedule. My substitute at the moment is watching/reading media from those whom I may be indifferent towards, or have implicit biases/lack of empathy towards.
'When thoughts arise, recognise them clearly as your teacher'— Gampopa
'When alone, examine your mind, when among others, examine your speech'.— Atisha
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Re: Developing real-world Compassion -books/teaching reccomendations?

Post by Punya »

Vasana wrote: Sat Mar 25, 2023 4:43 pm We all know compassion and loving-kindness is central to many Buddhist teachings yet the notion of having compassion for 'all sentient beings' can feel very abstract and disconnected from our own lived experiences of the world.

What things have helped you develop tangible compassion and warm-heartedness?

Which lojong texts and practices have people found particularly helpful?

Any secular or scientific works worth looking at?
If you are short on time, I suggest Pema Chodron's books. Lots of simple ideas to incorporate into your day.

The other thing I found very helpful was when Traleg Rinpoche's students were running weekly meditation sessions that began with a short reading from Rinpoche's commentary on Atisha's Seven Points of Mind Training. (His book was called The Benevolent Mind, but I think that has changed with more recent editions). We were encouraged to ponder the meaning of the words over the following week. You could do something similar. Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche's The Wish-Fulfilling Jewel covers the same topic.
We abide nowhere. We possess nothing.
~Chatral Rinpoche
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Re: Developing real-world Compassion -books/teaching reccomendations?

Post by Vasana »

I'm not short on dharma teachings, approaches and methods per se, it's more that I don't always find them connecting with my day to day life as much as I would hope.

One example I use is I sometimes try and make a habit of picturing people smiling or laughing joyfully, even if they might be strangers with unfriendly expressions.
I also do this for relatives I've had difficulty with and it helps remind me of their humanity and that deep down, everyone prefers being in good spirits with an intact sense of humour.

Similar to pure perception, I'm looking for techniques or things I can quickly remember from situation to situation, rather than pages of teachings that resonate, but gradually slip away. I know that repetition and familiarity is key, I'm just wondering if there are more technique based approaches like the one I mentioned.

In another thread someone recently mentioned how visualising a cute kitten helps trigger their sense of loving kindness. Of course this kitten could be replaced by a parent or partner or someone we care for on a more momentary day to day basis than seated sessions. I'm interested in novel approaches like that if anyone knows or remembers any?
'When thoughts arise, recognise them clearly as your teacher'— Gampopa
'When alone, examine your mind, when among others, examine your speech'.— Atisha
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Re: Developing real-world Compassion -books/teaching reccomendations?

Post by seeker242 »

Actual meditation practice far more than anything else.
One should not kill any living being, nor cause it to be killed, nor should one incite any other to kill. Do never injure any being, whether strong or weak, in this entire universe!
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Re: Developing real-world Compassion -books/teaching reccomendations?

Post by Giovanni »

When I first started to explore Buddhadharma I learned the Metta Bhavana meditation in a Theravadin context.
I have always found them useful.

You first send yourself metta/maitri, wishing yourself happiness and freedom from suffering.
Then you imagine someone you know well and like and do the same.
Then someone you feel neutral towards.
Then someone you fear or dislike.
Then everyone in your neighborhood,
Then everyone in the world.
Then all sentient beings.
🙏🏻
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Re: Developing real-world Compassion -books/teaching reccomendations?

Post by Vasana »

I appreciate the last two responses but I'm not sure if either of you read or understood the perspective shared in my last post in this thread.
'When thoughts arise, recognise them clearly as your teacher'— Gampopa
'When alone, examine your mind, when among others, examine your speech'.— Atisha
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Re: Developing real-world Compassion -books/teaching reccomendations?

Post by Giovanni »

Vasana wrote: Tue Apr 04, 2023 2:53 pm I appreciate the last two responses but I'm not sure if either of you read or understood the perspective shared in my last post in this thread.
The point of any practice is that it has to be practised..At first when you do such simple practices you may not feel a connection, but over time the faking it can become the making it. It can have an effect on others too. More than once people I have been sending metta/ maitri to have acted differently when we meet. More open.
I know that there are possible psychological explanations for this, but it feels like something objective changes.
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Re: Developing real-world Compassion -books/teaching reccomendations?

Post by Aemilius »

Edward Conze's book Buddhist Meditation is really helpful on this meditation topic.

Longchenpa's Great Chariot contains important aspects and instructions on the meditation of compassion. The book is Longchenpa's commentary on his own work Kindly Bent to Ease Us: The Nature of Mind, Easer of Weariness.
You can find it in https://www.wisdomlib.org/buddhism/book ... 83071.html
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Re: Developing real-world Compassion -books/teaching reccomendations?

Post by Queequeg »

There are so many practices. One that I find very effective, cultivating insight into the conventional reality of interconnectivity with a disposition of humble gratitude, enveloped in the context of a mind oriented by bodhicitta, however faint.

Before a meal:

1. Contemplate with gratitude the web of concatenated causes and conditions, ie. everyone and everything, that resulted in the placement of the meal before me.
2. Contemplate my thoughts, words and deeds that make me worthy of receiving the meal.
3. Contemplate the meal neutralized of attachment, aversion and ignorance.
4. Contemplate the nourishing qualities of the meal.
5. Contemplate the profound merit generated (for the world) by the meal which sustains one (but only if one continues) on the path to awakening.

Eat mindfully, ideally in silence.

After a meal:

Reflect with deep gratitude on the meal and its satiating effect. Vow, with gratitude, to awaken for the benefit of all beings, to become an effective agent in the ending of all suffering.

Try that at every meal and see how those thoughts saturate your mind after a while. Avoid being obsessive about it - if the meal is a social time, keep the thoughts in the back of the mind while you mindfully engage with the people you are dining with. Speak mindfully, with gentle words that gladden. Avoid false speech, divisive speech, critical speech, idle speech, speech that is misleading or exaggeration.

I find cultivating compassion is done by doing it. We can take the same kind of approach to everything we do. Seems to me, if you want to develop real world compassion, just do it. In suggesting this, I can't claim any sort of perfection. I find it impossibly difficult to perfect. But, maybe that's why I find it such a great practice. I know I will come up short, but am determined to continue the practice until in the place of practice, the goal is achieved.
There is no suffering to be severed. Ignorance and klesas are indivisible from bodhi. There is no cause of suffering to be abandoned. Since extremes and the false are the Middle and genuine, there is no path to be practiced. Samsara is nirvana. No severance achieved. No suffering nor its cause. No path, no end. There is no transcendent realm; there is only the one true aspect. There is nothing separate from the true aspect.
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Re: Developing real-world Compassion -books/teaching reccomendations?

Post by jet.urgyen »

Vasana wrote: Sat Mar 25, 2023 4:43 pm We all know compassion and loving-kindness is central to many Buddhist teachings yet the notion of having compassion for 'all sentient beings' can feel very abstract and disconnected from our own lived experiences of the world.

What things have helped you develop tangible compassion and warm-heartedness?

Which lojong texts and practices have people found particularly helpful?

Any secular or scientific works worth looking at?
when you look at suffering, do not look away, that's helpful for developing actual concern, with that concern you do something. beware not to cling to anything but your refuge in the jewells, otherwise you can easily become "depressed". cultivate enthusiasm and move forward.

i don't think i'm particularly a warm person, kind, etc. i can be a very challenging friend forcing to confront reality, a terrible and relentless enemy to those who obstacle, so and so forth. do not think compassion is being stupid, weak nor soft, because is not about that.

most scientific thing you'll find is whatever you experience, so pay attention to what's going on. my humble advice.
true dharma is inexpressible.

The bodhisattva nourishes from bodhicitta, through whatever method the Buddha has given him. Oh joy.
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Re: Developing real-world Compassion -books/teaching reccomendations?

Post by Vasana »

Giovanni wrote: Tue Apr 04, 2023 3:09 pm
Vasana wrote: Tue Apr 04, 2023 2:53 pm I appreciate the last two responses but I'm not sure if either of you read or understood the perspective shared in my last post in this thread.
The point of any practice is that it has to be practised..At first when you do such simple practices you may not feel a connection, but over time the faking it can become the making it. It can have an effect on others too. More than once people I have been sending metta/ maitri to have acted differently when we meet. More open.
I know that there are possible psychological explanations for this, but it feels like something objective changes.
I understand that. and I admittedly do not put as much emphasis on these practices these days which I would like to change. I'm just looking for modified versions I can apply in the so called 'post meditation' state of going about my daily life, rather than on the cushion. I know seated practice will influence day to day experience, but I'm looking for methods to bring those training in to daily life that can be applied instantly, upon remembering.
'When thoughts arise, recognise them clearly as your teacher'— Gampopa
'When alone, examine your mind, when among others, examine your speech'.— Atisha
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Re: Developing real-world Compassion -books/teaching reccomendations?

Post by Vasana »

Queequeg wrote: Wed Apr 05, 2023 2:35 pm There are so many practices. One that I find very effective, cultivating insight into the conventional reality of interconnectivity with a disposition of humble gratitude, enveloped in the context of a mind oriented by bodhicitta, however faint.

Before a meal:

1. Contemplate with gratitude the web of concatenated causes and conditions, ie. everyone and everything, that resulted in the placement of the meal before me.
2. Contemplate my thoughts, words and deeds that make me worthy of receiving the meal.
3. Contemplate the meal neutralized of attachment, aversion and ignorance.
4. Contemplate the nourishing qualities of the meal.
5. Contemplate the profound merit generated (for the world) by the meal which sustains one (but only if one continues) on the path to awakening.

Eat mindfully, ideally in silence.

After a meal:

Reflect with deep gratitude on the meal and its satiating effect. Vow, with gratitude, to awaken for the benefit of all beings, to become an effective agent in the ending of all suffering.

Try that at every meal and see how those thoughts saturate your mind after a while. Avoid being obsessive about it - if the meal is a social time, keep the thoughts in the back of the mind while you mindfully engage with the people you are dining with. Speak mindfully, with gentle words that gladden. Avoid false speech, divisive speech, critical speech, idle speech, speech that is misleading or exaggeration.

I find cultivating compassion is done by doing it. We can take the same kind of approach to everything we do. Seems to me, if you want to develop real world compassion, just do it. In suggesting this, I can't claim any sort of perfection. I find it impossibly difficult to perfect. But, maybe that's why I find it such a great practice. I know I will come up short, but am determined to continue the practice until in the place of practice, the goal is achieved.
Thanks for these. As an occasional 'emotional eater', these are useful reminders. I recently discovered I have elevated sodium levels, so more mindful consumption is on my mind. I just love a good bag of crisps (chips) :cry:

I've found that in the past that when I'm disciplined and structured with food and diet, other aspects of my life/practice also become more harmonised. The pandemic bought out some bad habits in me for sure.
'When thoughts arise, recognise them clearly as your teacher'— Gampopa
'When alone, examine your mind, when among others, examine your speech'.— Atisha
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