I don't want her to be right, because I have other things I want to get on with but my enthusiasm gets blunted by what she says. It's like always there even if I try to forget. But when I try to move on and forget it feels like I've giving up because I can't argue against her, or I can't contact here and by calling her wrong it would be just for my comfort and that I'm just misinterpreting her. Despite all my effort there always seems to be a reason to stay and trying to leave or move on or forget it running away, to live a lie because you can't handle the truth.PadmaVonSamba wrote: ↑Wed Jan 18, 2023 3:33 pmI don’t mean to be so blunt, but it seems you already have your mind made up. You have everything decided already. So in that case, you have no choice but to live with that decision that you have made for yourself.PadmaVonSamba wrote: ↑Wed Jan 18, 2023 2:10 pmI just don't know what to do, some days I wonder if this will be my life...torment.
Yep, it sounds like you are doomed forever. That’s because you are clinging your own insistence thst what is the not true is true.
The mere fact that you just keep bringing this up over and over again with no purpose (you reject any alternative view to the one you have, even though the view you have is failing you) really suggests to me that you are just looking for attention.
Perhaps it would be better to focus on the doomed state of existence that you find yourself in.
What I mean is, it seems as though you are just looking for validation. I find that people generally hear what they want to hear. That can even include things they think that they don’t want to hear.
It sounds like there’s a part of you that actually wants to cling to this gloom-and-doom outlook. Self-grasping often works that way.
By presenting the same problem over and over again, and having it refuted, and clinging to “but I still think she’s right” you are practicing a process of self/validation, even though it has a negative structure.
You aren’t actually doomed to that. You can change things. But you’d really need to work on it.
When it comes to this:so far you haven’t presented any evidence whatsoever.
Like if you feel happy over family, that's what society says you ought to do. Or if you find something cool or amazing that's because it was made to make you feel like that, etc etc. Everything you thought was how you felt or that you liked what you liked never came from you but was purely manufactured. So I don't really like certain characters, movies, games, etc etc, and my values etc. All that stuff is just brainwashing essentially. You feel the way you feel because society says you ought to feel that way about stuff. Everywhere I look it just seems to confirm it.You spend enough time in meditation, you will realize that you never genuinely feel feelings in the first place
it is all just cause and effect response
and a lot of the time the specificity of that response is ascribed to how societal expectations dictate one should be effected by a particular cause
The part about loss being false, is cold -- that is why the wise thing to do is to help people grieve rather than tell them about it
there are more appropriate times and places to discuss the ultimate nature of reality,
and telling someone "death doesn't matter" while they are vulnerable and grieving over death
will often hurt them in an emotional sense more than it will help guide them to an ultimate understanding
Your counterpoint about cats and dogs doesn't hold because we genetically selected those animals over years so they were made to be friendly and to love us.
It's not that I want her to be right but I can't find out how she is wrong. And the counterclaims I hear are more about misunderstanding the essence of her point or not taking it far enough.