Buddhism on laymen having two wives.

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jet.urgyen
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Buddhism on laymen having two wives.

Post by jet.urgyen »

Well, according to buddhadharma. is there an ethical problem in living with two women interested in dharma?
Sādhaka
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Re: Buddhism on laymen having two wives.

Post by Sādhaka »

Compared to what an lot western Buddhists believe, having two wives is about the least of worries.

Not that it would necessarily be wise either, as it could bring an whole 'nother host of problems. Depends on the situation, as with many things.
Last edited by Sādhaka on Wed Jan 18, 2023 4:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
Malcolm
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Re: Buddhism on laymen having two wives.

Post by Malcolm »

jet.urgyen wrote: Wed Jan 18, 2023 4:27 am Well, according to buddhadharma. is there an ethical problem in living with two women interested in dharma?
No. Buddhism has no position on polyamory.
Vases, canvas, bucklers, armies, forests, garlands, trees
houses, chariots, hostelries, and all such things
that common people designate dependent on their parts,
accept as such. For Buddha did not quarrel with the world!

—— Candrakīrti. MAV 6:166
jet.urgyen
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Re: Buddhism on laymen having two wives.

Post by jet.urgyen »

Thanks a lot.
KiwiNFLFan
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Re: Buddhism on laymen having two wives.

Post by KiwiNFLFan »

King Mongkut of Thailand (1801-1868, reigned 1851-1868) had 32 wives and produced 82 children. He is the King in "The King and I". His son King Chulalongkorn (1853-1910, reigned 1868-1910) had over a hundred consorts and produced 76 children.
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Ayu
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Re: Buddhism on laymen having two wives.

Post by Ayu »

But I think, the matter is not only about numbers of wives or husbands. The real ethical issue is, if all participants in this polygamy agree to the situation and are fine with it.
This is happening, but it's not guaranteed. In many countries it is common that the women are suppressed, they cannot disagree and as a result it's a situation of great mental cruelty.
(Reference: Mariama Ba - So long a letter)

I think, polygamy without compassion and women's rights contravenes buddhist ethical conduct, i. e. trying not to harm anybody.
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Adamantine
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Re: Buddhism on laymen having two wives.

Post by Adamantine »

Polyandry—a women having more than one husband—was normative cultural conduct in old Tibet and never considered contrary to Dharma. One of my own late Lamas had such an arrangement and didn’t differentiate between the child he was the biological father of and the other man’s biological children, he loved them equally as his children.
So multiple wives in theory wouldn’t be different either if everyone is of age, consensual, and not easily triggered by jealous rivalry. I say the latter because personality types can play a role here.. of course as a practitioner one needs to avoid volatile circumstances that could erupt in violence!

Also, it’s good to be in harmony with the laws of the country (or state) one lives in. Same goes with age of consent, and so on. Ending up with a lawsuit or jail time won’t be the best circumstances for practice.
Contentment is the ultimate wealth;
Detachment is the final happiness. ~Sri Saraha
jet.urgyen
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Re: Buddhism on laymen having two wives.

Post by jet.urgyen »

Ayu wrote: Fri Jan 20, 2023 11:08 pm But I think, the matter is not only about numbers of wives or husbands. The real ethical issue is, if all participants in this polygamy agree to the situation and are fine with it.
This is happening, but it's not guaranteed. In many countries it is common that the women are suppressed, they cannot disagree and as a result it's a situation of great mental cruelty.
(Reference: Mariama Ba - So long a letter)

I think, polygamy without compassion and women's rights contravenes buddhist ethical conduct, i. e. trying not to harm anybody.
I think you are right, there must be coercion-less agreement.
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Könchok Thrinley
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Re: Buddhism on laymen having two wives.

Post by Könchok Thrinley »

Well, two wifes are not a problem unless you live in a country where it is illegal. :D I cannot imagine navigating such a relationship. But I also cant imagine going bungee jumping and yet people do that, so...
“Observing samaya involves to remain inseparable from the union of wisdom and compassion at all times, to sustain mindfulness, and to put into practice the guru’s instructions”. Garchen Rinpoche

For those who do virtuous actions,
goodness is what comes to pass.
For those who do non-virtuous actions,
that becomes suffering indeed.

- Arya Sanghata Sutra
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