Some people at work ignore me - Advice?

General discussion, particularly exploring the Dharma in the modern world.
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Bazman
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Some people at work ignore me - Advice?

Post by Bazman »

I am learning about buddhism.
I have a situation I need advice on.
I suffered from mental illness in that I over reacted to things in the past.
I have about four people in work who ignore me because of stupid actions. They won't say hello. Pretend im not there.
I have said sorry but they won't accept that.
We are a large staff and I don't have to work closely with them but qt times im filled with thoughts of petty revenge
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Tao
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Re: Some people at work ignore me - Advice?

Post by Tao »

I cant see any problem here except for:

>qt times im filled with thoughts of petty revenge

Try to avoid them with mindfulness of its futility.

Rest it's ok, you cannot please everybody. Nor make other forgive you.

It's ok.

>I over reacted to things in the past

Dont do it again if you can avoid it, no problems here... :)

Use mindfulness.

Best wishes

:namaste: :namaste: :namaste:
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PadmaVonSamba
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Re: Some people at work ignore me - Advice?

Post by PadmaVonSamba »

There are eight billion people in the world and most of them totally ignore me.
I don’t worry about it.
If that’s true for you too, then simply include those few rude people at work as part of those eight billion,
and don’t worry about it.
EMPTIFUL.
An inward outlook produces outward insight.
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Ayu
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Re: Some people at work ignore me - Advice?

Post by Ayu »

Desire for 'petty revenge' can be dissolved by changes of perspective with the task to develop compassion.
The antagonist to ill-will is compassion or the wish they may be well.
Archie2009
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Re: Some people at work ignore me - Advice?

Post by Archie2009 »

Them ignoring you is far preferable to them trying to undermine you and get you to quit your job or fired.

It really isn't important what these four think of you. Some people never learn not to care what others think of them. You could use this situation to your benefit. I think if you'd stop caring about their opinions of you your need for petty revenge might dissipate. If such a need for revenge arises, don't grasp at it and follow it up with a whole train of thoughts. There is freedom in that.
Miorita
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Re: Some people at work ignore me - Advice?

Post by Miorita »

Continue to salute them when you meet them as it is your responsibility to salute and acknowledge others as humans and coworkers! If they answer, very well - the clouds have dissipated! If they don’t answer, your conscience is clear because you offered them respect and collegiality at the workplace and then it is no longer on you what they do or how they react.
I hope it helps.
Miorita
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Dorje Shedrub
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Re: Some people at work ignore me - Advice?

Post by Dorje Shedrub »

Learn the practice of loving kindness meditation and practice that. You can not control how others think about you; you can only control how you think about others. Best wishes.
Homage to the Precious Dzogchen Master
🙏🌺🙏 Chögyal Namkhai Norbu Rinpoche
🙏🌺🙏
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SkyFox
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Re: Some people at work ignore me - Advice?

Post by SkyFox »

PadmaVonSamba wrote: Mon May 23, 2022 2:12 pm There are eight billion people in the world and most of them totally ignore me.
I don’t worry about it.
If that’s true for you too, then simply include those few rude people at work as part of those eight billion,
and don’t worry about it.
Well said, but please share your how to secret; I would benefit greatly from a healthy dose of not caring :rolling:

To Op. I think being ignored is preferable to other alternatives, like one of the members said; a lot worse can happen at a work place environment. It's like a playground, except for adults. Just do your job and go home to people who actually care about you.
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PadmaVonSamba
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Re: Some people at work ignore me - Advice?

Post by PadmaVonSamba »

SkyFox wrote: Mon May 30, 2022 1:18 pm
PadmaVonSamba wrote: Mon May 23, 2022 2:12 pm There are eight billion people in the world and most of them totally ignore me.
I don’t worry about it.
If that’s true for you too, then simply include those few rude people at work as part of those eight billion,
and don’t worry about it.
Well said, but please share your how to secret; I would benefit greatly from a healthy dose of not caring :rolling:
I already said how to do it, above.
Do you suffer from the eight billion other people ignoring you?
EMPTIFUL.
An inward outlook produces outward insight.
zerwe
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Re: Some people at work ignore me - Advice?

Post by zerwe »

Getting things and not getting things. Being praised or being put down.
Feeling good or feeling bad. Being known or unknown.

These are the eight worldly dharmas. Do not allow them to become objects of your mind.

Shaun :namaste:
reiun
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Re: Some people at work ignore me - Advice?

Post by reiun »

Bazman wrote: Mon May 23, 2022 9:10 am I am learning about buddhism.
I have a situation I need advice on.
I suffered from mental illness in that I over reacted to things in the past.
I have about four people in work who ignore me because of stupid actions. They won't say hello. Pretend im not there.
I have said sorry but they won't accept that.
We are a large staff and I don't have to work closely with them but qt times im filled with thoughts of petty revenge
Focus on being professional in your work relationships. Be grateful for and cultivate the other good personal relationships you have outside of work.

To ignore means to refrain from noticing or recognizing, e.g.: reject, scorn, give a cold shoulder to, etc. This of course can be hurtful and I'm sorry you must endure it. You have acknowledged your mistakes and apologized. This was the right and called-for action for you to do on your own. Their spiteful reaction to it, though, is out of your hands. If you weigh your apology and present behavior against how they are acting, you should have some measure of, not revenge, but knowledge that you did the right thing. Hopefully, in time, that will ease your mind and help you let go of revenge thoughts.

Regarding your statement that you "suffered from mental illness" leading to overreacting: if you are carrying a diagnosis or think you might be, consider consulting a doctor or MH professional to get the help you deserve if you think you still need it.
And best wishes to you!
Bazman
Posts: 13
Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2021 3:24 pm

Re: Some people at work ignore me - Advice?

Post by Bazman »

Thank you for all the replies. I have not logged in for ages so it was a message in a bottle moment to see all the replies.
Im going to offer one of the people who ignores me an apologetic email. It's the right thing to do after this many years.
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