Why do you feel that that post by some random dude on the internet is true? Why do you think it accurately reflects the teachings of Buddhism?Ardha wrote: ↑Thu Apr 28, 2022 5:25 pm
I understand what they mean by it in the quote though which is why it bugs me and has me in knots. It means that when I tell someone I love them I don't mean it and it's just some "Thing" that I love about them.
Like in the case they use with the mother, you don't love your mom because if she was mean you wouldn't. You love care and maternity, aka what is done to you.
As for the bond of affection I shared with my parents; it was a lot more than a tit for tat exchange of pleasantries and aid. They loved and helped me when I was being a shit. I loved them even when they were critical and annoying, that's why their opinions hurt and mattered so much.
Yes, we are attracted and attached to some qualities we see in our partners or prospective partners. That's what we like about them. When we see their unattractive qualities as well and still wish to spend our lives with them, helping them, growing old with them, then that's a deeper thing - romantic love.
When we can love another without clinging or attachment, wanting them to be happy and have the causes of happiness whoever they are, whatever their behaviour, however likeable or unattractive they are, then we're beginning to touch the sort of love the Buddha praised.