Tibetan Buddism

[StrangeGuy]

What a strange thig happened to me. A couple of years ago I attended out of the blue the Garchen Rinpoche centre near my hometown. There was a ceremony where nuns were throwing themselves on the ground and, I think it was Garchen Rinpoche, who used a Vajra and a bell. I wanted to know if there's something I could see, like an aura, so I tried using the soft eye stare, but I couldn’t see anything. Well one of my experiments I sometimes like to do, crazy me. Then, during the ceremony, he made several times a strange sound, like the Japanese “oo”. With that sound I could feel a strange happiness in my heart region. Like my heart was jumping in a sense. I wanted to laugh like out of nowhere – very strange, but it was a ceremony and I didn’t want to draw attention to me, so I held back. After the ceremony that monk, could have been Garchen Rinpoche, came by to say hello. He looked at me, after a very short while he asked me from where I am from and gave me his hand and I told him but like I was a little boy. I thought I didn’t want to play any games and be real, so I guess that played into it. After that he gave a little blue booklet of the 37 Boddhisattva practices. Since then I’ve been a couple of times to the centre, somehow I’ve felt drawn to Arya Tara but also other female deities. I never took a saddhana, so one day - out of my craziness I tried to meditate on the unification with Tara on 2 separate occasions. Both times I was slapped out of nowhere on my head. I guess somebody might have been angry. Since then I never tried that unification thing.
That brings me to my question, what are your experiences with the Arya Tara practice? How does it feel, do you get touched on the shoulder, visions & dreams etc? In my case once I tried to do lucid dreaming and in that state I chanted “Om tare tuttare ture svaha”, then I could hear monks chanting. Another time I dreamed of being in a dark murky room with something threatening manifesting in that room. I angrily screamed “Om mani padme hum” and very strangely a tunnel opened up above me through the roof. At the end I could see light and clouds. Any ideas?