The crawl

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Jesse
Posts: 2127
Joined: Wed May 08, 2013 6:54 am
Location: Virginia, USA

The crawl

Post by Jesse »

The crawl
If I had to choose
between myself, my sanity, and my happiness
would I brave that dark sea
waves crashing relentlessly upon me
knocking aside the armor I've spent so long
meticulously piecing together
my heart is a fortress
made from clay
water is it's natural enemy
and you on your island
are my greatest hazard
are you real?
are you hate?
are you love?
what shall we become?

I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
this place is hostile
this place is intoxicating
a field of flowers that wafts in scents
so noxious in their delight
and so alight in their beautiful lament

my senses distracted
my emotions discordant
wrapped in bliss, and serenity
a pinkish fluttering landscape
with translucent vibrating orbs
that hum rhythmically in hypnotic bliss
their touch gently imparts a melody
a beautiful sound so pleasing
that it effortlessly puts to sleep my demons
slowly slowly slowly
I fall asleep
aware that at night
this beautiful scenery shall come alive
in full reveal of it's true form
what begins with wicked howls
and growls so low that they shake the ground
beautiful shapes begin their fall
the monsters emerge
and all those shiny
beautiful things
unfurl
their true forms revealed
monsters monsters monsters
all the lies I wrapped upon my vision
unwilling unravel, and my fate is known
I slept willingly inside a monsters nest
knowing of it's deceptive nature
I napped
I slumbered
I slept, willingly.
in this place nearly as dark as my own mind
I found comforts in the vivid illusions
biding time to gather
biding time to steal
the strengths I needed
to stand
to move
the strength to fight
to love
the strength I needed
to be myself

I think to myself, what a mess
should I allow this wolf
to devour my heart
in exchange for the strength
to overcome my blackened vision?
shall I again approach the world with eyes open
and to never allow myself again
to be blinded
to truth
to suffering
to misery
without shirking in defeat
wander forward
with my body in shreds
my heart, half devoured
to nimbly avoid those pitfalls
and wrench loose from my misery
the strength I require to scale my dreams
with nothing but
razor thin wire
which is dangled
from heights so far away
that my true destination
is shrouded by distances
further than these eyes can see
much father than all my strength
wisdom and perseverance
could ever hope
to overcome
and still
the rope I've found has been set
and I begin my ascent
filled with terror
filled with awe
slowly slowly slowly
I ascend
to that place which is
beyond the wildest
of dreams
Image
Thus shall ye think of all this fleeting world:
A star at dawn, a bubble in a stream;
A flash of lightning in a summer cloud,
A flickering lamp, a phantom, and a dream.
Jesse
Posts: 2127
Joined: Wed May 08, 2013 6:54 am
Location: Virginia, USA

Re: The crawl

Post by Jesse »

Sorry, I edited this a bit more. The first post is an unedited first draft.

The crawl

If I had to choose
would I brave that dark sea
waves crashing relentlessly upon me
knocking aside the armor I've spent so long
meticulously piecing together

My heart is a fortress
made from clay
water is its natural enemy
and you on your island
are my greatest hazard

I am lost
this place is hostile
this place is intoxicating
a field of flowers that wafts in scents
so noxious in their delight
and so alight in their beautiful lament
that I have become contented
by their blissful deceit

my senses are distracted
my emotions discordant
I am wrapped by bliss and serenity
in a pinkish fluttering landscape
shining with translucent vibrating orbs
that hum rhythmically in hypnotic bliss
their touch gently imparts a melody
a beautiful sound so pleasing
that it effortlessly puts to sleep my demons
slowly slowly slowly
I fall asleep
aware that at night
this beautiful scenery shall come alive
in full reveal of its true form

It begins with wicked howls
and growls so low that the ground begins to shake
as the beautiful shapes begin their fall
the monsters emerge
and all those shiny
beautiful things
unfurl
their true forms revealed
monsters monsters monsters
all the lies I wrapped upon my vision
begin to unravel, and my fate is known
I slept willingly inside a monsters nest
knowing of it's deceptive nature
I napped
I slumbered
I slept, willingly.

In this place nearly as dark as my own mind
I found comforts in the vivid illusions
biding time to gather
biding time to steal
the strengths I needed
to stand
to move
the strength to fight
to love
the strength I needed
to be myself

I think to myself; what a mess
should I allow this wolf
to devour my heart
in exchange for the strength
to overcome my blackened vision?

Shall I again approach the world with eyes open
and to never allow myself again to be blinded
to truth, to suffering, to miseries
shall I wander forward
without shirking in defeat
with my body in shreds
my heart half devoured
to nimbly avoid those pitfalls
and wrench loose from my misery
the strength I require to scale my dreams
with nothing but
razor thin wire
which is dangled
from heights so far away
that my true destination
is shrouded by distances
further than these eyes can see
much father than all my strength
wisdom and perseverance
could ever hope
to overcome
and still
the rope I've found has been set
and I begin my ascent
filled with terror
filled with awe
slowly slowly slowly
I ascend
to that place which is
beyond the wildest
of dreams
Image
Thus shall ye think of all this fleeting world:
A star at dawn, a bubble in a stream;
A flash of lightning in a summer cloud,
A flickering lamp, a phantom, and a dream.
Jesse
Posts: 2127
Joined: Wed May 08, 2013 6:54 am
Location: Virginia, USA

Re: The crawl

Post by Jesse »

My friends (Part 2)

Confronted by a towering wall
spanning miles above me..
..I..

Get a grip! says one of my men.
it shant be long now.
attach the hooks and wires,
and climb!

I stumble toward the wall, when
something arches fourth
from my stomach
some kind of muck or mire
comes rushing forward
and my mind disappears

Awakened by the foul stench
of burning sulfur and coal
groggily I open my eyes
and though blurry, and just opened
I perceive small little hooven feet
dancing about me

Yet no fear is within me
aversions long gone
for this sight
is one I have grown accustomed to
I live among them
pray among them
I search my soul
which is littered with
these horned monsters
each having various faces
are they me?
are they you?
are we sane?

I hardly care anymore
the clutter strewn about
is what remains of my
sanity
the cobwebs attest
to just how long
I've treaded hereabouts
I'm tired...
I say good sir, and madams
I am so very tired.

Shall we fetch you a cup of tea, sir?
No, get me that bottle over yonder
Yes, Sir-!
Mam, the bottle appears to be empty
Empty you say?!
I swat away the pest,
and hunt for something to dim the light of my vision
stampedes of friends bring many more gifts
illusions, fantasies, various pains, and love letters
each smiling with crooked menacing teeth
they cover over my skin
and blind my eyes for me

Sir, shan't you take your morning brew?
Madam, I have taken it, and I am indeed due for more

With cup in hand, I ask of my friends
to lay me down, and put me to sleep
with their tiny hands and arms
they pull shut my eyelids,
and as I lose my vision
I perceive in the distant clouds
the saddened face of someone I once knew
frowning
as the face disappears into the moisturous clouds
I faintly remember I had something to do
or somewhere to be?
however for now,
I think I shall enjoy various brews, and cups laden with
miseries
and share them with my horned and bedeviled friends
because my body, mind, and soul
has come to very much resemble them
or perhaps they me?

Cheers.
Image
Thus shall ye think of all this fleeting world:
A star at dawn, a bubble in a stream;
A flash of lightning in a summer cloud,
A flickering lamp, a phantom, and a dream.
User avatar
Budai
Posts: 878
Joined: Fri Aug 14, 2020 1:12 pm
Location: ༀ ∞ Nam Myoho Renge Kyo ∞ ༀ

Re: The crawl

Post by Budai »

I think your poem quite describes a descent into Samsara, and the pain involved. Let’s get out of Samsara, together, what have you! :smile:

Nice poem, you have a great and wonderful writing skill. :thanks:

Please write more!

And I hope you stay on your Path in Buddhism so that the entities that you wrote about it, figurative or there in another way, will bother you less, and eventually you can subdue them with solid practice. Om.

I wish you all the best.

You have a beautiful name. :namaste:
Jesse
Posts: 2127
Joined: Wed May 08, 2013 6:54 am
Location: Virginia, USA

Re: The crawl

Post by Jesse »

Könchok Chödrak wrote: Mon May 17, 2021 2:08 am I think your poem quite describes a descent into Samsara, and the pain involved. Let’s get out of Samsara, together, what have you! :smile:

Nice poem, you have a great and wonderful writing skill. :thanks:

Please write more!

And I hope you stay on your Path in Buddhism so that the entities that you wrote about it, figurative or there in another way, will bother you less, and eventually you can subdue them with solid practice. Om.

I wish you all the best.

You have a beautiful name. :namaste:
Thank you. I appreciate the kind words, poetry is how I best relieve the pressure and misery. It's also fun to read, and share with others. I'm glad that the poetry was enjoyed. That makes me happy. :)
Let’s get out of Samsara, together, what have you! :smile:
All of us. :namaste:
Image
Thus shall ye think of all this fleeting world:
A star at dawn, a bubble in a stream;
A flash of lightning in a summer cloud,
A flickering lamp, a phantom, and a dream.
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