Amida heard the whispering of my dreams. ( free form poetry)

[The Mantra Mongoose]

there are times when a wretched darkness overtakes me, My failure stands clear before me as a cloudless night among a witness of stars scarring my good intentions. Screaming and sobbing with tears, hot, and sticky running down my plump cheeks. I heave over myself, panic stricken. Bracing myself i watch my negative actions pile up knowing suffering will become my dearest lover, a just desert that this barren heartless world will earnestly deliver me. Walking among a company of statues that i so desperately hope will hear my cry, my heart sinks further into madness. though i see tears running down there lifeless stoic faces, i wonder will they hear the whispering of my dreams? I dream of being a nurturing song to beings, let me be there food, there drink. I dream of being the love they crave, the solace they yearn for fulfilling all there wants. I dream to bring them across the darkness of ignorance into endless peace. my dreams turn to nightmares as Mother nature herself begins to abort me. Everything i perceive is succumbing to dissolution. Great sturdy trees are withered into old men with its fruit rotting as if turning into bile. Clear and vibrant ponds dry up leaving cracked and brittle vegetation and animal matter scatter like dried bones. The statues, my only friends, crumbled taking with them even my nightmares with no more tears for me. The stars too have taken back there light, the ground beneath me gives way. I'm falling slowly now as if underwater the light slowly vanishing. Only awareness and sensation now gives me company, and as my back hits a foundation I realize i'm truly alone. Namu Amida Bu, Namu Amida Bu, Namu Amida Bu, Namu Amida Bu, Namu Amida Bu, Namu Amida Bu, Namu Amida Bu, Namu Amida Bu, Namu Amida Bustu, Namu Amida Bu.

Reaching upwards a wall of darkness falls aside like turning a page in a book. lotus pedals of dark purple surround my fetal position, with light rushing forward blindingly to meet me as if long lost family. The ground beneath me is golden with deep ridges cupping the pedals and myself. looking forward i'm greeted with the face i had before all time. What golden complexion and unending joy there is in Amida's face its enough to shatter the three lower realms. His hair and top knot dark and vibrant reminding me of the roots of a banyan tree that could never be moved, so stable that world systems could rest with ease against it. In equanimity beyond concerns, eyes moist with tears staring directly at me as his greatest treasure and dearest friend. The multi colored birds singing the precious dharma in harmony there feathers laying in patterns of mantras and sutras verses. Verdant trees swaying in the sweet melody of wind alive, dancing with perfect fruit like gems, sweet and tender to the tooth. pools of sweet water crisp and clear to rest your feet in after the long journey home. My family, friends, loved one past from all lifetimes cry with joy at my arrival he who was lost is now found. The sky is bright, clear, and endless as awareness itself reflecting the very mind of all Buddhas. His golden lips draw close to me, my heart engorges in veneration, and in a whisper he says "I heard the whispering of your dreams,and now we shall fulfill them. Come there is work to be done, my dear son. Hear the cry of your mothers across all time let us be there song, food, drink, love and solace bringing them from ignorance in everlasting peace." Standing in the palms of my beloved realization stired. I long though i was walking on shattered glass amidst hopelessness when really i was walking on supple lotus pedals in the hands of a unending compassion. I only needed to wake up.

[cjdevries]

This is really good. Thank you.