Buddha speaks the Sutra of the Father of Christmas

[Fortyeightvows]

Thus have I heard, at one time the lord was staying at the north pole together with a great assembly of elves and a great assembly of reindeer.
With the divine eye he saw which beings had been naughty and which beings had been nice. Then followed the discourse on the merits which lead to presents and the transgressions which bring coal. A holy tree arose from the ground, with multi color lights that illuminate the three realms.
Then the great being, holding bell and candy cane pronounced the mantra: HO! HO! HO! the mantra that illuminates and brings cheer.
Then Lord Santa enters through one's chimney and abides together with his secret consort Mrs Clause and fills the devotee with spirit and cheer.
How does one who wishes to abide in this teaching practice this great mantra?
On the 24th night of the 12th month: the devotee who wishes to practice this sutra of the Father of Christmas, should make offering of milk and cookies before resting.
Thus was spoken the great sutra of the Father of Christmas.

[cjdevries]

So funny.

[Hazel]

[Kim O'Hara]

On a more Dickensian note -

ghost.jpg (53.42 KiB) Viewed 2618 times

Kim

[catmoon]

Then the Great One of the Santayana arose, and placing a finger aside his nose in the mudra of ascension, prepared to leave. At this time his faithful companion of many years, Baldric, spoke.
"What, you're not going to bleedin' LEAVE us here to freeze, are you?"
And there was grumbling, especially among those who had taken out second mortgages so they could pay Richard Branson to deliver them to the assembly. For so great was their faith that none had purchased a return ticket.
But the serenity of the Great One was undisturbed. He smiled, shook his head once, then arose to the heavens in great blaze of light and vanished.

And in the cold and dark, when all seemed lost, Baldric spake unto the assembly, saying,
"Right, we're proper screwed now. More bleedin' asshats than arhats here, I don't suppose one of you thought to bring a bit of food did you?" And not one of the assembly had a reply.

Now it happened that among those gathered was the ancient sage Binder Dundat, with his two young grandsons. The younger of the two had begun to cry, for he was cold, and hungry, and afraid. And his brother spoke to him, saying, "Be not afraid, but trust in your Guru. The Great One surely did not bring us here to suffer and die, far from home, hearth and carbonated soft drinks. Surely some provision has been made for our comfort, and though we cannot hope for rescue from the likes of Richard Branson, surely there is another Guru of greater power who knows of our need.

And indeed he had hardly finished speaking when a new light appeared in the West growing ever brighter. And sleighbells were heard, and a great roaring of rocket engines. Above the din a new voice was heard saying,

"On Tesla, on Dragon, on Spacex and Hopper! On Falcon and Roadster and Lastminuteshopper!" and soon it was clear that a large intercontinental rocket sled was approaching, drawn by eight tiny musk oxen. Well seven, actually , there was a last minute sled redesign. And the sled was driven by a small, merry figure wearing unspeakably cool shades.

"We are saved!" cried the multitude. For indeed the Great One of the Santayana had made provision, and sent Elon Musk bearing gifts of Christmas cake and cookies and warm sweaters and little bags of BodhiCheetos and above all, some fast and efficient transportation. And soon the assembly was delivered, each to his own home, on time and under budget. And they told their families of the wonders they had seen, and even Baldric had to admit that putting a little faith in the Guru might not be such a bad idea.

[Vasana]

Thus have I heard, at one time the lord was staying at the north pole together with a great assembly of elves and a great assembly of reindeer.
With the divine eye he saw which beings had been naughty and which beings had been nice. Then followed the discourse on the merits which lead to presents and the transgressions which bring coal. A holy tree arose from the ground, with multi color lights that illuminate the three realms.
Then the great being, holding bell and candy cane pronounced the mantra: HO! HO! HO! the mantra that illuminates and brings cheer.
Then Lord Santa enters through one's chimney and abides together with his secret consort Mrs Clause and fills the devotee with spirit and cheer.
How does one who wishes to abide in this teaching practice this great mantra?
On the 24th night of the 12th month: the devotee who wishes to practice this sutra of the Father of Christmas, should make offering of milk and cookies before resting.
Thus was spoken the great sutra of the Father of Christmas.

[Könchok Thrinley]

Here is a traditional Jingle Bells dharani prayer summoning good fortune and blessings of the Father Christmas Bodhisatva (a.k.a Santa bosatsu) from the Mongolia where his practice stays alive to this day.