The Heart Drive Poetry

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Ogyen
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The Heart Drive Poetry

Post by Ogyen »

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push pull

I feel fragile
as if I were
a truth that can’t be said
that trembling leaf
about to separate
from its branch

I am a churning mass
that wants to take shape
but can’t pace to the passing
of life’s implacable motion

I am the constant
crushing wave
that can’t stay
in one place
push pull
rise lull
never content
for longer than a spasm
a breath, a drink, a fully belly
an orgasm
the hunger returns
relentlessly
I desire
again
and again
to merge into him
shadow lover
protector persecutor
while I habitually escape
getting too close
avoidant of all reflection
of his grace
I always yearn to hold
his beautiful face
against my innermost space

Touch is too frightening
if he clamps my wings
with thick fingers
I may never fly again
awaiting helplessly
the end
and yet
holding up the mirror
those are my hands
there are no wings
all touch is empty
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The Heart Drive - nosce te ipsum

"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." –Arundhati Roy
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Ogyen
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Re: The Heart Drive Poetry

Post by Ogyen »

impenetrable


towing the line biding my time

head down i am the Indian making my way

toward the mountain on the horizon far away

I don’t know how or if I’ll ever get there

aside from one foot in front of the other

there is nothing but the walking to claim

it’s high tide here and I’m swimming upstream

clammed shut in my anemone poked with a stick

night has shut the door to your sight

the sun will eventually rise and

will leave bare what is now invisible

to the eye when the moon retires the tide

at the right time exposed secrets like treasure finds

rays of light kiss the cliff’s every nude imperfection

tracing its bas-relief of surrender and embrace

indiscriminately enveloping the rock’s face

it’s this touch that wants so much

it builds the walls that long to protect

but fall they must and crumble past

the structured scripts of talking points

but I am inscrutable behind the depths

on the surface so placid and strong

yet within I’m viciously alive and mostly blind

I hold on because there is no other choice

I feel you move inside me like a spirit

the feeling that guides me gently and quietly

sustains me through it all

intimately pressed against the drive

to be everything most inconvenient to be

fair-minded and selfless means to abandon

the legend in my own mind one day at a time

don’t put the cart before the horse baby

truth revealing its tricks like flipping cards

the bittersweet of being known

is uncomfortable so bravely I lean in

it’s your talk that makes me walk

it’s your soft that makes me hard

savage the thrust of passage

fraught with treacherous twists

take that however you like

the only way out is through

so little time so much to do

and so many points of view but which

will take my heart to you on a platter

down the centermost point of the matter

laughter and tears are the building blocks

of bonds

what takes away the warmth

is the arid season of giving and being wronged

in return

there is no going back
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The Heart Drive - nosce te ipsum

"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." –Arundhati Roy
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Ogyen
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Re: The Heart Drive Poetry

Post by Ogyen »

It’s how I like it

sight is sharper than taste
crisper in focus
yet it satisfies
what the eye cannot
tied right into that thing
in me
that does the analysis
of my day-to-day

I live in states of transition
from then to now and through
a complete unknown filled
with my conjectures
that served to answer all the questions
I had
about meanings of life
so I know through the projections
not to believe the tale
of my intuition
rather I just follow the silence
that calls out the gamut of feelings
from gritty to smooth
the texture of my experiences
create memories that are
no more than impressions
of interpretations I made back then
just because it happened
doesn’t make it the most optimal choice
it just means I knew nothing more
than how to choose the way I did
and sometimes that price is steep
paid in blood
one’s own or someone else’s
it’s give and take
duality and here I am again
writing you love poetry
dressed up
in existential argumenting
and you like all the twists
and turns
you missed
seen through reading
the exposed discomfort
of a stranger’s pain
in words
painted your own
this is what I give you
a short way to be contained
in all your necessary
madness composed of fear and hope
with an intricate net
shaped to your wants
decisions and habits compound
into an invisible cage
in which you suffer yet
the transparency always allows you
to judge the world around you
as if it was real
an interpretation that makes sense
to you in your story of the world
the right and wrong you can run to
even feel a sense of escape
when judging your idea of me
through your reactions to your values
your ideas with myt face pinned to them
you call it reality
and I can always feel this process
and I always face the choice to let it go
or hold on to my illusions
because I also get that no matter
how hard you try
to connect
the only connection
that’s true
is the non-dual nature
of your own mind
and learning to connect
is really just allowing yourself
to be humbly taught
by things you wouldn’t have thought
could teach you
because you thought so much
you lost touch with the present moment
and when you think
you slow down
and when you slow down you die
but you know that it was always going
that way only
so put into the correct perspective
small things have big meanings
and big things aren't what we thought
they would be

what is she doing?

dance with me one tango
down the sharp throes of this song
my tone is playful and edgy
it’s how I like
without rewind
what can I say
I’m a dangerous kind of gal
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The Heart Drive - nosce te ipsum

"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." –Arundhati Roy
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Ogyen
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Re: The Heart Drive Poetry

Post by Ogyen »

storm with a skin

I am a pile of defects
always trying to sort themselves out
kinks in a net
all knotted up
wrapped around a rusty anchor

I am a pile of defects
an idiosyncratic night road
I walk to the light
waking to a moan rolling over
in the morning
then I absorb you like a smell
breathe you in like a prayer

after all these years of memories
fragments still penetrate like splinters
in my sense of your presence
so hard to let it go
even when there’s nothing there left
for us
to hold
my eyes are black holes
drinking in the world
swallowing deep
to feed my soul
I need strength to be alone

You churn in my gut
I can’t let go
or get enough
I want to swallow this knot
in my throat
and get it down
or spit it up
and get it out
stuck like this I’m a storm with a skin
a twirling bottle caught in between
the spill and the spin
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The Heart Drive - nosce te ipsum

"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." –Arundhati Roy
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Ogyen
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Re: The Heart Drive Poetry

Post by Ogyen »

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finding "self"

the past wanders in the now
I’m a ghost in my own skin
pacing the halls of my labyrinth
inner cries and whispers
slither in and out
the sum of conditioned response

I’m a guest in my own house
always uncomfortable in my skin
ever-shifting
ever-changing
nothing stays the same
unique circumstances follow grooves
concentric patterns mimic
previously circled paths
I’m always looking for ways
to name the loop
break the spell
touch the invisible cage
that holds me back
trapped in my points of view
that don’t permit me to choose
another way
I keep a tight grip on
what they say are the facts
or I might lose the compass
that points me to what’s true
when I open the lid to the within
the truth comes in endless hues
different perspectives
refracting through the prism
of sensory perception

I am my smirking Restraint
dressed in compassion
the rage takes shape
a game that hides its face
a noose around the neck
a toothy smile
that almost snaps in bites
jagged edges loosely drawn
a watery reflection
that shifts before it’s pinned
they tell me to find the black dot
all I find is an optical trick
a grid with no resolution
rules without a game to correspond

I am the hunter in the maze
looking for a way back
from fallen grace
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The Heart Drive - nosce te ipsum

"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." –Arundhati Roy
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Ogyen
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Joined: Sun Dec 06, 2009 5:36 pm

Re: The Heart Drive Poetry

Post by Ogyen »

And they lived happily never after


you cut and paste your love and devotion
to her with my words of inspiration
conversations we had
recycled like quick snack pleasure
for your sensuous appetite
betrayal and lies
served up on a pile of flattering words
I’d like to say I understand your lack of spine
but the reality is that I don’t
know what that kind of self-complacency feels like

I love by pushing the boundaries
of my sacrifice
and live by an ethic
set in loyalty to the path
I uphold regardless
of what inner feelings sway the moment’s romance
like a monastic without robes
I am the mate without a pair
uniting within

they talk to me about beauty
and all that it is and is not
all the interesting minds
that the intelligent people have
and I find it empty and hollow
all I want to do is crawl inside
and enter the refuge of my stillness
without lies or polarities
it just is
naked and fearless
from these inner heights
I cradle myself
nurture the hurts
with secret expressions
the little bruja in me mixes alchemy
slowly smelling the salts
coming to
transforming what is wounded beyond sight
no matter how fine I seem
I know intimately
nothing is as it appears
I continue on
with the biggest smile
and all the strength
of the goddesses
before me
my warrior archetype
has learned to bow out
my love is not an option
in a storefront
it is a way of walking
opening deeper to the flow of life
all-embracing
allowing the thorns to go deeper
intimacy carries intrinsic
human pain
yet I remain devoted
to the path of undoing
the mistakes I made
seeing through the lenses
of my countless unclear states
the epig fog of confusion
you drifted in with
as I wake from my thoughts
to what is before me
I see your petty games
and the sadness fills me
I hold my dignity
and a calm stability
emerges as the water separates
and the dirt settles
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The Heart Drive - nosce te ipsum

"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." –Arundhati Roy
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Ogyen
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Joined: Sun Dec 06, 2009 5:36 pm

Re: The Heart Drive Poetry

Post by Ogyen »

Burnout


It’s been a long road
there to here
moments so alone
I could choke
on the long string of knots
not swallowed
strung down my throat

No air
flow
Remember to breathe
when the strain is maxed
legs thrown back
take away my breath
they also stretch the neck

Negatives and positives
keep the mind agile
in a game of life’s attacks
the body follows
pull in, push out
time ticks the death toll
snap, crack, roll
break the fall
hold back and let go

Waves and tides
rise and fall
you don’t see
the tsunami coming

Burn the flame
of our small candle
my secret space
let the great vast open
swallow up the night
the sun will burn out every trace
darkness will hide under rocks
creeping away quietly
under every blade of grass
as to not get caught

The more cryptic I get
the more it meant
the harder it is
to shake away
the feeling of being bent
stripped bare
with nothing left
but the raw motion
performed
with religious discipline
to die again and again
with every intent
as the wick shortens
to face the cold
growing closer
a soft breath
against my flame
my candle strains for
for just a few moments longer
only to reach
the end of the line
no matter the intent
the burnout with a faint
thread of smoke to remember
the light by
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The Heart Drive - nosce te ipsum

"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." –Arundhati Roy
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Ogyen
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Re: The Heart Drive Poetry

Post by Ogyen »

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other times


everything happened
everything passed
here I return once again
after the kicking and screaming are done
the imagining something different
and trying to find the beat
in between the real that’s here in your hands
and the need that gnaws deep in your belly
while striving to find coherence
when faith is lost
with crumbled beliefs
that couldn’t stand the test of time

everything past
can only be looked at
like pictures plastered
on walls of buildings
from your old stomping grounds
while driving by
here and there a great graffiti reminds you
of other times when you didn’t know
about everything you were setting yourself up for
once it’s gone, you can’t slow down too much
or you’ll crash, you need eyes on the road
and you can’t stop or you’ll be late
you need to stay present and flow
there’s no turning back

mistake after mistake

that’s why they call it practice
not because you actually get better
but because you learn to live
with the consequence of every poor choice
and every great decision
living side by side like mansions and shacks
in the same neighborhood
in the country of You

some things get easier
like getting used to the angst
it becomes less urgent
it burns slower
deeper
and this toolset you build
thinking it will secure an easier time
is a lie
having a hundred tools means
you have more to ways fix
whatever problems arise next
yet because you learned something
even more arises
and the illusion that you have time
begins to slip
as the rest of your life
lapses into memories
other times
threads you lost in the fray
you only connect to with a feeling

I remember when I was like that back then
I was younger freer had I known then
what I know now
I would have done
I would have said
something different than what I did

clarity came at a cost
this ever shifting now slides away
mercilessly
as awareness connects
I am filled with regrets
for choosing a life
I did not want to live
for no one else
for my own beliefs
collapsed one by one
a twisting dominos spiral
as pieces fall

sometimes I wish I’d never started
but it’s a hollow thought
there was no choice
but to move forward
the art is long and arduous to master
and the time is ephemerally short

if not now
when
and if not here
where

looked at through the rearview mirror
other times always seem so much
simpler from a distance
as they vanish at the bend of every new curve
on the road ahead
that seems to never end
to avoid despair
I lose all anchors
and just focus
on what happens now
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The Heart Drive - nosce te ipsum

"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." –Arundhati Roy
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Ogyen
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Joined: Sun Dec 06, 2009 5:36 pm

Re: The Heart Drive Poetry

Post by Ogyen »

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Conversations


The opening starts

face to face
you say yours
I say mine

yet there is no one
to talk to

independent dimensions meeting
trying to connect

we open our mouths
sounds emerge
activate images feelings
yet no one is listening
beyond the sound of their own voice
whispering fears
offending sensibilities
sparking laughter

I struggle to find a reason
to speak
in the politic of personal agenda
that wouldn’t add to the hypocrisy
I stick to the facts
hoping something that is heard
may actually be useful
the odds are like trying to impregnate
one in millions
and all the failed attempts
return like criticisms
projected from the many selves
finding fault in “other”
the meaning lost in translation

listen and silent are the same word
scrambled

true communication comes from clarity
not the elaborate use of language
might that be a clue

the elephant in the room
points and laughs
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The Heart Drive - nosce te ipsum

"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." –Arundhati Roy
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well wisher
Posts: 436
Joined: Sat Oct 27, 2018 3:57 am

Re: The Heart Drive Poetry

Post by well wisher »

Nice artistic poems!

Believe in your own heart and yourself,
even if seems like nobody else is listening,
and you are speaking to like a silent wall.

Where exactly is the mind, when some masters points to their own heart,
While others point to the top of their head?

... My head hurts, but at least my heart is still beating,
so don't mind me at all! :smile:
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Yavana
Posts: 1158
Joined: Sat Apr 16, 2016 5:15 am
Location: Trumpaloka

Re: The Heart Drive Poetry

Post by Yavana »

Scooby Doobie Doo
Where's the glue
That keeps us all together?

History's not over
ICE can't catch Rover
The CIA controls the weather

If you knew the way
Then I'd leave today
And leave behind every fetter

But the fire still burns
Heraclitus is an urn
And we all keep getting wetter
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SunWuKong
Posts: 636
Joined: Mon Nov 06, 2017 11:15 pm
Location: Alexandria, Virginia, USA
Contact:

Re: The Heart Drive Poetry

Post by SunWuKong »

I got nothing
but a ripped open gut
exposes me to
what feels like my
best and oldest friend
nothing feels closer
it was here and gone
I tried to get the Nagas
to bring it back again
then i said frak it
its all the same
and smiled
"We are magical animals that roam" ~ Roam
Jesse
Posts: 2127
Joined: Wed May 08, 2013 6:54 am
Location: Virginia, USA

Re: The Heart Drive Poetry

Post by Jesse »

Those things
All those things
Temporal and indifferent
Come pouring maladies in thine cup
and for the moment
all that overflow suggests naught
In this backwards back world of a garden
Rightly parched earth awaits
Silently meandering in such lovely
and lonely melody.
Image
Thus shall ye think of all this fleeting world:
A star at dawn, a bubble in a stream;
A flash of lightning in a summer cloud,
A flickering lamp, a phantom, and a dream.
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Yavana
Posts: 1158
Joined: Sat Apr 16, 2016 5:15 am
Location: Trumpaloka

Re: The Heart Drive Poetry

Post by Yavana »

My Rounds

I served my time
Time and time again
I served until I made it to the top
I was your master
I held down the others
And took
I was the Mara
I was the demon
I was the stooge
I was the victim, too
Do you not know what awaits?
Do you think I have forgotten my torment?
And now you know why I stand in the way
Even if you don't suspect
Your own fate

And in the scrum, I make my escape.
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