tomschwarz wrote: ↑Thu Jul 12, 2018 6:05 am
it is not so easy when someone does not love you that is suppose to love you.
Think about that statement again... it would be nice if everyone loved you, but we're conditioned by karma. We can't say that anyone is "supposed to" love us; we can only say that we wish they did.
We may also be able to say that this expectation comes from others in society, but these are also samsaric beings who are scrambling for anything to end their suffering, without comprehending the actual way to accomplish that (& that happiness/suffering originate in the mind).
To collect merit of the kind that will earn the respect/admiration of others, contemplate what it would be like to work for their benefit withour expectation, whether they love you or acknowledge you or not. Then think about how you would feel to come across someone with no ulterior motives, who only cares about enriching your happiness. Resolve to become that person...
tomschwarz wrote: ↑Thu Jul 12, 2018 7:15 am
....what is it to be loved? Feeling not alone, feeling kind attention from other, feeling pleasurable physical contact.
So that is where "gone" comes in. Because when i am not "gone"when i am here, very much forging on with the futile attempts at immortal empire, i need love.
Then its about me, my needs, and so on. So how can i care for you, in tge final analysis? Something has to go. Right?
The four forms of generosity are Dharma (or truthful/appropriate advice), material goods, love, and fearlessness.
Love is best described as the heartfelt desire for others to be happy, and a commitment to act in ways that don't harm them, but support them to find temporal/ultimate happiness originating from within themselves.
You desire love, and we're taught that we "need" to receive it, but it's not true. Ultimately, we have to accept the fact that our karma is what it is, and nothing is ordained for us to receive.
The best we can do is work to create the conditions for receiving that kind of support, which means offering all kinds of support to others... whatever they need from us, as long as it won't harm the basic aspects of our livelihood.
What has to go is your grasping at worldly comfort/grasping at a self. That's truly the futile part, because there is no guarantee that anything will manifest in this life, and there is the guarantee that we will lose this body, along with everything we currently enjoy, at death. At least, try to entertain the idea of laying the groundwork for future lives of service through the Dharma.
Cultivate joy at your ability to serve others, and that's all there is to it -- in this sense, it's not about us, but about all other beings.