Why do so many people have the misconception that Buddhists are supposed to be all fuzzy and nonchalant all the time?
Why do so many people have the misconception that Buddhists are supposed to be all fuzzy and nonchalant all the time?
Meaning, we're not suppose to feel or show emotion or be stern when we have to? Where does this misconception come from? Would love your thoughts.
In his writing, Hokkemongu (Words and Phrases of the Lotus Sutra), The Great Master Nichiren said, “If the practitioners of the Lotus Sutra wholeheartedly devote their life to the Lotus Sutra and practice according to its golden words, it is certainly needless to say that not only in the next life, but also in this lifetime they will overcome severe difficulty, prolong their life, receive the great, good fortune of unsurpassed enlightenment, and accomplish the great vow of the widespread, propagation of True Buddhism.”
- PadmaVonSamba
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Re: Why do so many people have the misconception that Buddhists are supposed to be all fuzzy and nonchalant all the time
When do you have to?
EMPTIFUL.
An inward outlook produces outward insight.
An inward outlook produces outward insight.
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Re: Why do so many people have the misconception that Buddhists are supposed to be all fuzzy and nonchalant all the time
When a kid is trying to stick a pen in an electrical outlet? Or is pointing a loaded gun at someone.
- PadmaVonSamba
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Re: Why do so many people have the misconception that Buddhists are supposed to be all fuzzy and nonchalant all the time
I think that generally, over time, Buddhist practice makes one less likely to
1. give rise to anger
2. Become emotionally embroiled in every little thing that occurs
...and for people who don’t practice dharma, these behaviors occur more often. So, for many people that is the standard. My spouse has said to me about something or other, that she was upset about, “you don’t even seem to care!” But to me, there was no cause to become upset.
So, by comparison, we appear nonchalant. Even emotionless to some.
So, that’s maybe why people have this perception
The types of things like kids pointing guns or sticking things in electrical outlets don’t happen “all the time”, so, they might not be the best examples, but they do happen some of the time.
Probably responding sternly but without anger or rage is the most skillful approach.
1. give rise to anger
2. Become emotionally embroiled in every little thing that occurs
...and for people who don’t practice dharma, these behaviors occur more often. So, for many people that is the standard. My spouse has said to me about something or other, that she was upset about, “you don’t even seem to care!” But to me, there was no cause to become upset.
So, by comparison, we appear nonchalant. Even emotionless to some.
So, that’s maybe why people have this perception
The types of things like kids pointing guns or sticking things in electrical outlets don’t happen “all the time”, so, they might not be the best examples, but they do happen some of the time.
Probably responding sternly but without anger or rage is the most skillful approach.
EMPTIFUL.
An inward outlook produces outward insight.
An inward outlook produces outward insight.
- FiveSkandhas
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Re: Why do so many people have the misconception that Buddhists are supposed to be all fuzzy and nonchalant all the time
They think we are some kind of meta-hippies.
"One should cultivate contemplation in one’s foibles. The foibles are like fish, and contemplation is like fishing hooks. If there are no fish, then the fishing hooks have no use. The bigger the fish is, the better the result we will get. As long as the fishing hooks keep at it, all foibles will eventually be contained and controlled at will." -Zhiyi
"Just be kind." -Atisha
"Just be kind." -Atisha
- Lotomístico
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Re: Why do so many people have the misconception that Buddhists are supposed to be all fuzzy and nonchalant all the time
I guess my question would be who actually thinks this? People in the west, US, Europe who have this image of the "tranquil Buddhist" stereotype, just a bunch of trippy hippies.
Having lived much of my adult life in predominantly Buddhist countries, I realize that people are people, regardless of the religious designation they have.
That said, in my experience living in Buddhist countries (primarily Southeast Asia) I never in nearly 20 years saw people in a supermarket go off in the way one can see on a daily basis in a US supermarket.(I worked as a cashier for many years, so I know jijiji)
Frankly, though, why do people consider outbursts of anger to be normal?
One should become the master of one’s mind rather than let one’s mind master oneself.
Re: Why do so many people have the misconception that Buddhists are supposed to be all fuzzy and nonchalant all the time
In all fairness in most non buddhist countries you will also not see many people having a mental break down on a super market like in the US.Lotomístico wrote: ↑Fri Jul 09, 2021 1:30 amI guess my question would be who actually thinks this? People in the west, US, Europe who have this image of the "tranquil Buddhist" stereotype, just a bunch of trippy hippies.
Having lived much of my adult life in predominantly Buddhist countries, I realize that people are people, regardless of the religious designation they have.
That said, in my experience living in Buddhist countries (primarily Southeast Asia) I never in nearly 20 years saw people in a supermarket go off in the way one can see on a daily basis in a US supermarket.(I worked as a cashier for many years, so I know jijiji)
Frankly, though, why do people consider outbursts of anger to be normal?
- Lotomístico
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Re: Why do so many people have the misconception that Buddhists are supposed to be all fuzzy and nonchalant all the time
Agreed, personally never saw it once in Southeast Asia, go to a supermarket in the US and stand in líne, odds are there's some frustrated person impatiently saying "hurry up!" or having a fit because they were overcharged a nickel or often much worse, yelling and carrying on...this behavior by western tourists is especially perplexing (and amusing) to locals in those same countries, who are confused as to why presumably educated westerners from developed, affluent countries are behaving in such an uncultivated way... typically met with amused smiles, laughter, and complete disengagement...the "I'm never shopping here again" that would have an American supermarket manager begging them to continue shopping there would be responded to in SE Asia with "glad for that, we certainly hope not" and more chuckles jijijijiTata1 wrote: ↑Fri Jul 09, 2021 3:08 amIn all fairness in most non buddhist countries you will also not see many people having a mental break down on a super market like in the US.Lotomístico wrote: ↑Fri Jul 09, 2021 1:30 amI guess my question would be who actually thinks this? People in the west, US, Europe who have this image of the "tranquil Buddhist" stereotype, just a bunch of trippy hippies.
Having lived much of my adult life in predominantly Buddhist countries, I realize that people are people, regardless of the religious designation they have.
That said, in my experience living in Buddhist countries (primarily Southeast Asia) I never in nearly 20 years saw people in a supermarket go off in the way one can see on a daily basis in a US supermarket.(I worked as a cashier for many years, so I know jijiji)
Frankly, though, why do people consider outbursts of anger to be normal?
One should become the master of one’s mind rather than let one’s mind master oneself.
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Re: Why do so many people have the misconception that Buddhists are supposed to be all fuzzy and nonchalant all the time
Maybe this is a Theravada thing. Their ideal is quite detached and “monkly.” (This could also be a false evaluation based on my own ignorance.) But if it’s true at least to some degree, it might explain the lack of emotion in our culture’s understanding of mindfulness, which comes in large part from Theravada and Thich Nhat Hanh.
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Re: Why do so many people have the misconception that Buddhists are supposed to be all fuzzy and nonchalant all the time
Even more likely is that people tend to identify with teachings of nonattachment, trying to be good Buddhists or show that they are good at meditation because they don’t get angry when things don’t go their way. But this kind of identifying with not getting angry is actually a great way of surpressing one’s anger. We don’t show it outwardly, but that doesn’t mean it’s no truth there.
I think this way probably resonates with white people, who tend to be polite and not express our feelings. Same with Japanese and other East Asians whose culture is based on Confucianism.
So instead of superficially identifying with a non-angry ideal, a better way to arrive at being not bothered by anything is through the meditation methods given by whatever tradition you’re in. Usually this is vipassana, which sees the true nature of the thoughts and feelings that arise, instead of pretending they are something else.
I think this way probably resonates with white people, who tend to be polite and not express our feelings. Same with Japanese and other East Asians whose culture is based on Confucianism.
So instead of superficially identifying with a non-angry ideal, a better way to arrive at being not bothered by anything is through the meditation methods given by whatever tradition you’re in. Usually this is vipassana, which sees the true nature of the thoughts and feelings that arise, instead of pretending they are something else.
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Re: Why do so many people have the misconception that Buddhists are supposed to be all fuzzy and nonchalant all the time
So true. Our culture seems to think that caring means to get upset when things don’t go well.PadmaVonSamba wrote: ↑Thu Jul 08, 2021 11:37 pm I think that generally, over time, Buddhist practice makes one less likely to
1. give rise to anger
2. Become emotionally embroiled in every little thing that occurs
...and for people who don’t practice dharma, these behaviors occur more often. So, for many people that is the standard. My spouse has said to me about something or other, that she was upset about, “you don’t even seem to care!” But to me, there was no cause to become upset.
So, by comparison, we appear nonchalant. Even emotionless to some.
So, that’s maybe why people have this perception
But as buddhists, maybe we’ll express our care through love and compassion instead of anger and distress.
I recently came back from the funeral of a teacher of mine. The ones who were more spiritually mature seemed not to be so distraught by our friend’s passing. They miss him, but also were able to express joy and acceptance of his passing. They were neither sobbing profusely nor pretending they didn’t care. Part of what spiritual maturity means is to be able to come to terms with things as they are, and finding peace with reality.
- Lotomístico
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Re: Why do so many people have the misconception that Buddhists are supposed to be all fuzzy and nonchalant all the time
Fortunate it is indeed to encounter a good teacherSilenceMonkey wrote: ↑Fri Jul 09, 2021 8:33 pmSo true. Our culture seems to think that caring means to get upset when things don’t go well.PadmaVonSamba wrote: ↑Thu Jul 08, 2021 11:37 pm I think that generally, over time, Buddhist practice makes one less likely to
1. give rise to anger
2. Become emotionally embroiled in every little thing that occurs
...and for people who don’t practice dharma, these behaviors occur more often. So, for many people that is the standard. My spouse has said to me about something or other, that she was upset about, “you don’t even seem to care!” But to me, there was no cause to become upset.
So, by comparison, we appear nonchalant. Even emotionless to some.
So, that’s maybe why people have this perception
But as buddhists, maybe we’ll express our care through love and compassion instead of anger and distress.
I recently came back from the funeral of a teacher of mine. The ones who were more spiritually mature seemed not to be so distraught by our friend’s passing. They miss him, but also were able to express joy and acceptance of his passing. They were neither sobbing profusely nor pretending they didn’t care. Part of what spiritual maturity means is to be able to come to terms with things as they are, and finding peace with reality.
One should become the master of one’s mind rather than let one’s mind master oneself.
Re: Why do so many people have the misconception that Buddhists are supposed to be all fuzzy and nonchalant all the time
Not being aware of Nichiren and the Lotus Sutra's teachings. I think Chapter 3, Simile and Parable and Chapter 20, Bodhisattva Never Despise, demonstrates the stern reality of the Law of Cause and Effect. What do you think?
M