Apparently yesterday was Son's day?

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bcol01
Posts: 276
Joined: Mon Dec 05, 2016 10:20 pm

Apparently yesterday was Son's day?

Post by bcol01 »

I can't help but feel reminded of the fact that my narcissistic mother doesn't love me or act like I'm her Son.

I understand her own dysfunction, her own inability to love. But somehow, I can't help but feel the pain of feeling forgotten, unloved, etc. And, now there's a day called Son's day? aye yay yay

Why should I care?
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Minobu
Posts: 3375
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2016 6:57 pm

Re: Apparently yesterday was Son's day?

Post by Minobu »

bcol01 wrote: Mon Sep 28, 2020 3:03 pm I can't help but feel reminded of the fact that my narcissistic mother doesn't love me or act like I'm her Son.

I understand her own dysfunction, her own inability to love. But somehow, I can't help but feel the pain of feeling forgotten, unloved, etc. And, now there's a day called Son's day? aye yay yay

Why should I care?
of course you care...you would not just post what you just did if you did not care...

you are hurting...

My wife was abandoned by her mother...she has this thing about not being loved.

then one of her son's turned on her due to his now exwife's madness..a real bitch who turned her own kids against her parents due to their will giving equal shares to her and her sister...she wanted it all for she thought she loved them more...this woman is like in a 300 grand a year job with banking security...a monster....i suspected she had someone hack an email account of mine and change the wording...real weirdness...

So for 7 years he did not talk to her and she cried every night ...

She is a good person...how then does this happen to her....over and over again her life that only reinforces her idea no one really loves her...

it crops up in our relationship as well...this underlying damage...
it damages human beings when their blood does stuff to hurt them ...

i feel for you.
bcol01
Posts: 276
Joined: Mon Dec 05, 2016 10:20 pm

Re: Apparently yesterday was Son's day?

Post by bcol01 »

Ty. It is hard not to internalize a parent's inability to love us, but at least I'm moving from resentment and self-hatred to wholeness and healing.
It's just hard sometimes. Ty
Minobu wrote: Mon Sep 28, 2020 3:24 pm
bcol01 wrote: Mon Sep 28, 2020 3:03 pm I can't help but feel reminded of the fact that my narcissistic mother doesn't love me or act like I'm her Son.

I understand her own dysfunction, her own inability to love. But somehow, I can't help but feel the pain of feeling forgotten, unloved, etc. And, now there's a day called Son's day? aye yay yay

Why should I care?
of course you care...you would not just post what you just did if you did not care...

you are hurting...

My wife was abandoned by her mother...she has this thing about not being loved.

then one of her son's turned on her due to his now exwife's madness..a real bitch who turned her own kids against her parents due to their will giving equal shares to her and her sister...she wanted it all for she thought she loved them more...this woman is like in a 300 grand a year job with banking security...a monster....i suspected she had someone hack an email account of mine and change the wording...real weirdness...

So for 7 years he did not talk to her and she cried every night ...

She is a good person...how then does this happen to her....over and over again her life that only reinforces her idea no one really loves her...

it crops up in our relationship as well...this underlying damage...
it damages human beings when their blood does stuff to hurt them ...

i feel for you.
User avatar
Minobu
Posts: 3375
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2016 6:57 pm

Re: Apparently yesterday was Son's day?

Post by Minobu »

bcol01 wrote: Mon Sep 28, 2020 3:28 pm Ty. It is hard not to internalize a parent's inability to love us, but at least I'm moving from resentment and self-hatred to wholeness and healing.
It's just hard sometimes. Ty


resentment and self-hatred to wholeness and healing.
that is exactly what my wife is all about. Only difference...you get it..she doesn't..maybe that from your practice.

as you know we have been doing this samsaric thing for so very long...all kinds of stuff we have to go through..all of us have some problem or other...

hope you find peace..
tkp67
Posts: 2133
Joined: Sun May 12, 2019 5:42 am

Re: Apparently yesterday was Son's day?

Post by tkp67 »

bcol01 wrote: Mon Sep 28, 2020 3:03 pm I can't help but feel reminded of the fact that my narcissistic mother doesn't love me or act like I'm her Son.

I understand her own dysfunction, her own inability to love. But somehow, I can't help but feel the pain of feeling forgotten, unloved, etc. And, now there's a day called Son's day? aye yay yay

Why should I care?
Because of filial piety.

I could paint my father as demon based on his behavior towards me. The abuse was such it is too intense for public discourse, it makes people far too uncomfortable.

He sits perfected in my conscious, his buddha nature realized in my existence if not in his own.

This is because I did not accept his discord as valid personal judgement against me but rather ignorance to the human condition we all share. I compassionately sought to understand why instead for the purpose of reconciling the cause and effect in my life.

If I took his mental illness personally it would have condemned me to death. In seeking to understand his compassionately I came to understand my own.

Nichiren teaches deeply on the impact of the lotus in the life of a practitioner and the effects on the family especially parents.

None of this was easy or lacked difficulty.
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