Prayers for my dharma situation

Requesting and offering prayers and aspirations for those in need.
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karmanyingpo
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Prayers for my dharma situation

Post by karmanyingpo »

I am in a bit of a rut and have requested a personal interview with my main Dharma teacher. I have never had the opportunity to even contact him personally before and I have had real difficulty getting advice from him via his organization so I hope that this works... Please dedicate merit and pray for my situation because it is starting to weigh heavily on me.. although it was more of a feeling of mild hindrance and confusion in the past.. now it is starting to feel more stressful so I really do think speaking with this teacher one on one and relying on him, as I do feel him to be my primary teacher ,will be really beneficial.

KN
ma lu dzok pe san gye thop par shok!
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FiveSkandhas
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Re: Prayers for my dharma situation

Post by FiveSkandhas »

Prayers prayed.
"One should cultivate contemplation in one’s foibles. The foibles are like fish, and contemplation is like fishing hooks. If there are no fish, then the fishing hooks have no use. The bigger the fish is, the better the result we will get. As long as the fishing hooks keep at it, all foibles will eventually be contained and controlled at will." -Zhiyi

"Just be kind." -Atisha
karmanyingpo
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Re: Prayers for my dharma situation

Post by karmanyingpo »

FiveSkandhas wrote: Tue Jan 19, 2021 6:38 pm Prayers prayed.
Thank you friend

KN
ma lu dzok pe san gye thop par shok!
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Budai
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Re: Prayers for my dharma situation

Post by Budai »

Find in yourself the confidence that shines from your Bodhicitta, which has reached the other shore. Om Mani Padme Hum, I hope all goes well. :thumbsup:
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Hazel
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Re: Prayers for my dharma situation

Post by Hazel »

:group:
Happy Pride month to my queer dharma siblings!

What do you see when you turn out the lights?
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PadmaVonSamba
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Re: Prayers for my dharma situation

Post by PadmaVonSamba »

This isn’t a prayer, but...
In preparation, it really helps if you take time to write down exactly what it is you need to discuss. This will not only help you cut through some of it yourself, and help you to focus your mind, but doing this will also help your teacher to understand your situation better.
:namaste:
EMPTIFUL.
An inward outlook produces outward insight.
karmanyingpo
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Re: Prayers for my dharma situation

Post by karmanyingpo »

PadmaVonSamba wrote: Tue Jan 19, 2021 7:36 pm This isn’t a prayer, but...
In preparation, it really helps if you take time to write down exactly what it is you need to discuss. This will not only help you cut through some of it yourself, and help you to focus your mind, but doing this will also help your teacher to understand your situation better.
:namaste:
Yes, I have started doing this too thank you.

KN
ma lu dzok pe san gye thop par shok!
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Hazel
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Re: Prayers for my dharma situation

Post by Hazel »

karmanyingpo wrote: Tue Jan 19, 2021 9:37 pm
PadmaVonSamba wrote: Tue Jan 19, 2021 7:36 pm This isn’t a prayer, but...
In preparation, it really helps if you take time to write down exactly what it is you need to discuss. This will not only help you cut through some of it yourself, and help you to focus your mind, but doing this will also help your teacher to understand your situation better.
:namaste:
Yes, I have started doing this too thank you.

KN
I find this quite helpful as well, but I always seem to forget my list!

First item on the new list: remember the list.
Happy Pride month to my queer dharma siblings!

What do you see when you turn out the lights?
Arnoud
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Re: Prayers for my dharma situation

Post by Arnoud »

It can be overwhelming in the beginning because just creating a framework for it all takes time, especially the Tibetan tradition (totally worth it though).

Then, you feel you are not making any progress or actually doing worse than before which creates doubts. So, relax.

It's going to be a lifelong process (hopefully not too many lives), and there are going to be ups and downs, especially in the beginning.
Slowly things will become more clear until most of your doubts are gone or until you have decided this is really not for you. Once your doubts are gone, you will find quite a bit of peace.

Again, slow and steady wins the race.
karmanyingpo
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Re: Prayers for my dharma situation

Post by karmanyingpo »

Arnoud wrote: Wed Jan 20, 2021 2:31 am It can be overwhelming in the beginning because just creating a framework for it all takes time, especially the Tibetan tradition (totally worth it though).

Then, you feel you are not making any progress or actually doing worse than before which creates doubts. So, relax.

It's going to be a lifelong process (hopefully not too many lives), and there are going to be ups and downs, especially in the beginning.
Slowly things will become more clear until most of your doubts are gone or until you have decided this is really not for you. Once your doubts are gone, you will find quite a bit of peace.

Again, slow and steady wins the race.
Arnoud, what you said really resonates with me. Thank you for the words of comfort.
I have lots of negative tendencies (obviously :rolling: ) but quite noticable in all of this mess is my tendency to fixate and obsess, and my annal retentive detail oriented side. There are other problems too, but that, is a big one.

I think a big step forward is getting a private consult with my teacher, for the 1st time ever. It has been an obstacle for me to not have 1 on 1 contact with him and.. I think the time has come when it really has become necessary or I might just wallow in despair and it would not be easy. This is a problem with the internet as a medium but I am not saying that to complain as I have made voluntary decisions that have created this situation myself.

'Then, you feel you are not making any progress or actually doing worse than before which creates doubts.' - This has happened yes. For me it's like this. I feel like I'm making progress at first. Then I hear something from an experienced practitioner or other teacher that makes me have doubts and question if I'm doing something right and makes me wonder if the "progress" I've been feeling is just delusional. Again there is the issue of not just relying on what MY teacher says and proliferating unnecessary doubt and uncertainty

"until you have decided this is really not for you" - This one is more complicated. I will not deny that this has come up in my mind stream but not as a thought that I engage with and "believe" in and then add to. I also try not to suppress and reject it. I try to just be aware of it and watch it naturally dissipate. Just a thought

But as I have taken a empowerment from His Holliness The Dalai Lama I don't think it is an option to quit. I think that would entail breaking samaya and dooming myself to Vajra Hell. Besides.. it feels wrong. Despite these worries and confusion I still feel I need to continue with bodhichitta and devotion. I just pray that my teacher will sense the state I am in and agree to speak with me 1 on 1. I think that is the real next step here

KN
ma lu dzok pe san gye thop par shok!
karmanyingpo
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Re: Prayers for my dharma situation

Post by karmanyingpo »

Thank you everyone... Update..
I got in touch with my main teacher and Rinpoche basically gave me a big "It's okay" ... I am almost moved to tears right now with gratitude for his wisdom and kindness.

Here is some advice for everyone: Internet vajrayana can make things more complicated because different teachers do things in different ways. Different causes and conditions, different teachers as a result. Karma cause and effect. A teacher might say someone needs to do this or that in a certain way but unless they are your teacher and not a teacher it may not apply to you so ask your teacher....... We always see people say "ask your teacher" and sometimes we get annoyed because we just want an answer the way you can put a coin in a vending machine and get a pop but this is another angle as to why this broken record advice is actually so important... because thats not how this works this whole thing is NOT homogenous and Vajrayana is about following an authentic lineage holder who is YOUR teacher, and,... not about following every single word of sometimes discordent advice of the thousands of teachers that exist. This is not a put down but it is simply what we see in the vajrayana land scape...

So it all comes back down to this: Ask your teacher.

Maybe you will also be moved to tears....

KN
ma lu dzok pe san gye thop par shok!
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Hazel
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Re: Prayers for my dharma situation

Post by Hazel »

karmanyingpo wrote: Sat Jan 23, 2021 9:04 pm Thank you everyone... Update..
I got in touch with my main teacher and Rinpoche basically gave me a big "It's okay" ... I am almost moved to tears right now with gratitude for his wisdom and kindness.

Here is some advice for everyone: Internet vajrayana can make things more complicated because different teachers do things in different ways. Different causes and conditions, different teachers as a result. Karma cause and effect. A teacher might say someone needs to do this or that in a certain way but unless they are your teacher and not a teacher it may not apply to you so ask your teacher....... We always see people say "ask your teacher" and sometimes we get annoyed because we just want an answer the way you can put a coin in a vending machine and get a pop but this is another angle as to why this broken record advice is actually so important... because thats not how this works this whole thing is NOT homogenous and Vajrayana is about following an authentic lineage holder who is YOUR teacher, and,... not about following every single word of sometimes discordent advice of the thousands of teachers that exist. This is not a put down but it is simply what we see in the vajrayana land scape...

So it all comes back down to this: Ask your teacher.

Maybe you will also be moved to tears....

KN
:good:
Happy Pride month to my queer dharma siblings!

What do you see when you turn out the lights?
Arnoud
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Location: Benelux, then USA, now Southern Europe.

Re: Prayers for my dharma situation

Post by Arnoud »

karmanyingpo wrote: Sat Jan 23, 2021 9:04 pm Thank you everyone... Update..
I got in touch with my main teacher and Rinpoche basically gave me a big "It's okay" ... I am almost moved to tears right now with gratitude for his wisdom and kindness.

Here is some advice for everyone: Internet vajrayana can make things more complicated because different teachers do things in different ways. Different causes and conditions, different teachers as a result. Karma cause and effect. A teacher might say someone needs to do this or that in a certain way but unless they are your teacher and not a teacher it may not apply to you so ask your teacher....... We always see people say "ask your teacher" and sometimes we get annoyed because we just want an answer the way you can put a coin in a vending machine and get a pop but this is another angle as to why this broken record advice is actually so important... because thats not how this works this whole thing is NOT homogenous and Vajrayana is about following an authentic lineage holder who is YOUR teacher, and,... not about following every single word of sometimes discordent advice of the thousands of teachers that exist. This is not a put down but it is simply what we see in the vajrayana land scape...

So it all comes back down to this: Ask your teacher.

Maybe you will also be moved to tears....

KN
:twothumbsup: :twothumbsup: :twothumbsup:
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