How do you replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts?

[2ndchance]

How do you replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts?

Let me give you two examples.

1) A middle-aged man has an attractive younger female platonic friend. He likes to develop bodhicitta / loving-kindness / compassion for his attractive younger female platonic friend without triggering any lustful emotions and/or romantic emotions at all.

How does he replace negative lustful emotions and/or romantic emotions towards his attractive younger female platonic friend with bodhicitta / loving-kindness / compassion?

2) A middle-aged man has a very aggressive hot-tempered younger brother who has been attacking the middle-aged man with verbal abuse and vulgarities and even threatening the middle-aged man with physical violence and challenges to physical fights.

How does he replace negative angry emotions towards his younger aggressive hot-tempered bully brother with bodhicitta / loving-kindness / compassion?

Thank You for teaching me.

[Malcolm]

How do you replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts?

Let me give you two examples.

1) A middle-aged man has an attractive younger female platonic friend. He likes to develop bodhicitta / loving-kindness / compassion for his attractive younger female platonic friend without triggering any lustful emotions and/or romantic emotions at all.

How does he replace negative lustful emotions and/or romantic emotions towards his attractive younger female platonic friend with bodhicitta / loving-kindness / compassion?

He should cultivate the thought this women is his daughter or his younger sister.

2) A middle-aged man has a very aggressive hot-tempered younger brother who has been attacking the middle-aged man with verbal abuse and vulgarities and even threatening the middle-aged man with physical violence and challenges to physical fights.

How does he replace negative angry emotions towards his younger aggressive hot-tempered bully brother with bodhicitta / loving-kindness / compassion?

He should understand this younger man is not in his right mind. And if necessary, place distance between himself and the aggressor.

[Johnny Dangerous]

How do you replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts?

Let me give you two examples.

1) A middle-aged man has an attractive younger female platonic friend. He likes to develop bodhicitta / loving-kindness / compassion for his attractive younger female platonic friend without triggering any lustful emotions and/or romantic emotions at all.

How does he replace negative lustful emotions and/or romantic emotions towards his attractive younger female platonic friend with bodhicitta / loving-kindness / compassion?

2) A middle-aged man has a very aggressive hot-tempered younger brother who has been attacking the middle-aged man with verbal abuse and vulgarities and even threatening the middle-aged man with physical violence and challenges to physical fights.

How does he replace negative angry emotions towards his younger aggressive hot-tempered bully brother with bodhicitta / loving-kindness / compassion?

Thank You for teaching me.

It can't really happen without lessening the grasping after the lustful, angry etc. feelings. The beginning of that is just learning to relate to emotion without judgement, to not be fused with it. Mindfulness, to use the popular term.

A beginning step is simply knowing in the moment "in me is lust", "in me is anger", just like the Suttas/Sutras say.

Even in conventional therapies, you cannot dispute or replace thoughts when you are activated in fight or flight mode...or in uh...the "other F" mode either really.

The path works together this way, this is one of the reasons that mindfulness is indispensable in actually affecting personal transformation.

I have both an annoyingly overactive libido and anger problems, so I know of where I speak....attempt to forcefully replace thoughts usually don't work, because you cannot enact cognitive changes when directly in the grip of the kleshas.

There has to be space around that stuff for cognitive strategies to have much effect.

[Dharmadale]

As far as the angry younger brother goes, one tactic would be to see 'the kindness of the enemy' in that he is giving the man a chance to develop patience and destroy his anger thereby bringing him closer to enlightenment.

In his book 'Patience: A guide to Shantideva's sixth chapter' Lama Zopa Rinpoche says 'We can develop patience only with somebody who tries to harm us in some way. The Buddha has given us incredible teachings on patience, but we can't practice patience with the Buddha'.

Of course it's all easier said than done, as Malcolm said he should see that the younger brother is not in his right mind. This would be a good starting point in developing patience for his particular situation.