Relative's death and 100 day mourn tradition

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mandaikutta
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Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2021 4:00 pm

Relative's death and 100 day mourn tradition

Post by mandaikutta »

Folks.

I don't want to offend anybody. Please forgive me if I am asking the wrong thing or saying the wrong thing.

My GF is a Vietnamese and she moved to US when she was very young. She still speaks Vietnamese and English. She is still a vegan and follow and values Vietnamese buddist traditions. Yesterday her loving grandma died in Vietnam. She is completely heart broken and also stressed out that she cannot go to Vietnam. She lives with room mates and she is more stressed out that she cannot do all the 100 day rituals here in the US.

We both were planning to move together to an apartment this week and this news put a pause to it. She is afraid that she may lose me because of the traditions and customs she has to follow.

Please let me know if there are any exceptions in the traditions/practices that she could skip or if she can be exempted from any of the day to day activities that includes physical and emotional relationship that she is having with me.

I tried to reach Vietnamese temple in bronx and the Vietnamese association in Florida and none of them speak English.

I need help.

Thanks
Mandai
narhwal90
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Re: Relative's death and 100 day mourn tradition

Post by narhwal90 »

Show how much you care for her by supporting her grieving in whatever ways she chooses to.
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Queequeg
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Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2012 3:24 pm

Re: Relative's death and 100 day mourn tradition

Post by Queequeg »

narhwal90 wrote: Wed Oct 13, 2021 4:07 pm Show how much you care for her by supporting her grieving in whatever ways she chooses to.
That's it.

She speaks Vietnamese so she can work out what she needs to do with people who can advise her. Your job is let her do what she needs to do and support her.
Those who, even with distracted minds,
Entered a stupa compound
And chanted but once, “Namo Buddhaya!”
Have certainly attained the path of the buddhas.

-Lotus Sutra, Upaya Chapter

純一実相。実相外。更無別法。法性寂然名止。寂而常渉照名観。
There is only reality; there is nothing separate from reality. The naturally tranquil nature of dharmas is shamatha. The abiding luminosity of tranquility is vipashyana.

-From Guanding's Introduction to Zhiyi's Great Shamatha and Vipashyana
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