Advice for a person who is dying

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Yklah
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Advice for a person who is dying

Post by Yklah »

Along with this message two videos from the FPMT are attached. In the first video, Lama Zopa Rinpoche recites powerful mantras with inconceibable benefits: for example, the Namgyalma Mantra, the Mantra from the Sutra of Great Liberation or Buddha Maitreya Mantra, which once heard, you never ever get born in lower realms.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmIVjkVDyVE

As Namgyalma Mantra has so benefits, I attach a video with only the Namgyalma Mantra:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7mDVdUbPLg

Hope it is beneficial,

Yklah
Knotty Veneer
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Re: Advice for a person who is dying

Post by Knotty Veneer »

I've just been through the death of both parents and my wife in the last 9 months.

I've read many books on death and dying from different Buddhist traditions. By far the best was Advice for future corpses and those that love them by Sallie Tisdale:

https://www.amazon.com/Advice-Future-Co ... 583&sr=8-2

Definitely worth a read.
This is not the wrong life.
frankie
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Re: Advice for a person who is dying

Post by frankie »

Yklah wrote: Thu Sep 09, 2021 12:42 pm Along with this message two videos from the FPMT are attached. In the first video, Lama Zopa Rinpoche recites powerful mantras with inconceibable benefits: for example, the Namgyalma Mantra, the Mantra from the Sutra of Great Liberation or Buddha Maitreya Mantra, which once heard, you never ever get born in lower realms.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmIVjkVDyVE

As Namgyalma Mantra has so benefits, I attach a video with only the Namgyalma Mantra:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7mDVdUbPLg

Hope it is beneficial,

Yklah

I sincerely hope this would only be used for somebody who's very familiar with Lama Zopa and the FPMT...otherwise, this is more likely to freak the poor departing soul out, and cause more discursiveness than could possibly be helpful.
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Hazel
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Re: Advice for a person who is dying

Post by Hazel »


I moved the topic to the Dying and Death subforum.

No problem, it's easy to miss.
Happy Pride month to my queer dharma siblings!

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SkyFox
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Re: Advice for a person who is dying

Post by SkyFox »

Knotty Veneer wrote: Fri Sep 10, 2021 2:52 pm I've just been through the death of both parents and my wife in the last 9 months.

I've read many books on death and dying from different Buddhist traditions. By far the best was Advice for future corpses and those that love them by Sallie Tisdale:



Definitely worth a read.
Wow..... My condolences; I can't even fathom how you must be feeling. I wish you the very best :buddha1:

How are you coping with such pain? Is there any advice you would give for someone who might be going through something similar?
Natan
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Re: Advice for a person who is dying

Post by Natan »

Knotty Veneer wrote: Fri Sep 10, 2021 2:52 pm I've just been through the death of both parents and my wife in the last 9 months.

I've read many books on death and dying from different Buddhist traditions. By far the best was Advice for future corpses and those that love them by Sallie Tisdale:



Definitely worth a read.
My sympathies. I have also endured many deaths that came over a few years, brother, brother in law, mother and father,. When I was a kid two brothers died a few years apart, not to forget uncles, aunties, grandparents and friends who also died. It's definitely a reason I became interested in dharma. And dharma definitely helps.
Last edited by Natan on Sat Sep 11, 2021 3:41 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Yklah
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Re: Advice for a person who is dying

Post by Yklah »

Knotty Veneer wrote: Fri Sep 10, 2021 2:52 pm I've just been through the death of both parents and my wife in the last 9 months.

I've read many books on death and dying from different Buddhist traditions. By far the best was Advice for future corpses and those that love them by Sallie Tisdale:



Definitely worth a read.
My condolences as well, i hope everything is going better emotionally right now ; thanks for advising the book, thank you.
Knotty Veneer
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Re: Advice for a person who is dying

Post by Knotty Veneer »

ConfusedOne wrote: Sat Sep 11, 2021 6:39 am Is there any advice you would give for someone who might be going through something similar?
Not really, bereavement is something I'm sure that is different for everybody. But I think it's important to remember that grief=love and it's something that you don't really get over, you have to make space in your life for it.

I'm lucky that I know how much my parents and my wife loved me and they knew how much I loved them. That is a consolation.

All relationships are impermanent. Cherish the ones you love and let them know every day how much you love them. Never forget you will lose everyone you love in the end.
This is not the wrong life.
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SkyFox
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Re: Advice for a person who is dying

Post by SkyFox »

You know I've read for many people this kind of pain last for years. From the many reddit posts I've read, many people are only able to gain a bit of relief at around the 5th year mark, and to me that is horrifying.

But that only proves that the Buddha Is correct. Once again, thank you for sharing, and I wish you the very best on your journey :anjali:
KC:
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Re: Advice for a person who is dying

Post by KC: »

Maybe contemplation of how we experience the suffering of suffering can give us insight regarding the moments leadings to death. Or, likewise, maybe the contemplation of those moments can give us insight regarding the experience of suffering.

I think what's most momentous is how things fall in, the collapse as authorship/autonomy is lost.
Certainly, the humility / humiliation of bodily functions. But more: not being able to reach for a glass of water when thirsty. Not being able to swallow when a glass is put to our lips. Not being able to focus our eyes. Not being able to clear our throat as we gag and sputter. (I can still bring to mind even decades later the rattling last breath from my friend as life left his body.)

Short of real insight and attainment, we aren't very good at humility. Maybe posturing as though ... but to actualize that in a moment of high tension or high drama? heh ... just came to mind that this might suggest how karma operates: what I experience just now in this very moment is so very profoundly conditioned by what has come before.

Mangalam! (May all experience happiness free from the roots of suffering!
--KC:
narhwal90
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Re: Advice for a person who is dying

Post by narhwal90 »

I find it important to not turn away, for large or small beings. Even if I can't help much I can help them not be alone. Sometimes they might not even notice. Seeing them dying on their feet has been the most difficult recently, I often think of those folks.
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Zhen Li
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Re: Advice for a person who is dying

Post by Zhen Li »

As others have said, everyone reacts to the death of others differently.

I have been reflecting on this recently.

Turning away is not the Buddhist way. If we have reactions, we should reflect on why we have them.

It makes a huge difference in your feelings to change from thinking "it was too soon," "it's bad," to understand that everything happens at its time and due to its causes and conditions. The affective component is something we add on top. So, this isn't to say death is good because it is inevitable, it is to say that it is indifferent, and we can either use the experience for growth (and to consider what we can do to fulfil the wishes and intentions of the departed) or let it pain us.

It also makes a difference to the departed when they hear us speaking or thinking when they are in the in-between stage whether we speak in appreciation or whether we try to call them back to their body or create agitation. It is important to keep a forward moving outlook, this helps the deceased also move on rather than linger.

A friend also said, her mother hung on until she gave her permission to go. After that, any struggling ceased and her death was as peaceful as it could be. We need to give the departed permission to go and embark on their next journey. Everyone has their allotted time, and to be spared the further suffering of old age, and only experience sickness and death is itself a blessing. How we experience it as survivors is entirely up to our mental framing and outlook. As for the person who is dying, helping them gain acceptance and confidence about where they will be going is vital. Not everyone will have the 100% sense of assurance that they'll be born in Sukhāvati, but while alive we should aim to settle our matter of the afterlife.
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