Hi, my name is ____ and I'm a stumbling, bumbling idiot (Bombu)

Post Reply
truthb
Posts: 69
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2018 11:48 pm

Hi, my name is ____ and I'm a stumbling, bumbling idiot (Bombu)

Post by truthb »

So grateful for this forum, and so grateful for this Dharma path, which not only teaches me to embrace my idiocy, but that BECAUSE of my idiocy that I will be saved!

Because of my failures, both in life and in my quest for enlightenment, I am getting humbled.

Because of Shinran's teachings, I can "Leverage" (make use) of my stupidity and recognize that on my own, enlightenment is a hopeless endeavor.

In THAT recognition, then I become open to entrusting myself to Other Power.... and in that, my salvation can be found.

<3 <3 <3

Hi, my name is Truth, and I am a stumbling, bumbling idiot!

Fellow Bombus, feel free to introduce yourself.
The Mantra Mongoose
Posts: 136
Joined: Thu Jun 11, 2015 4:39 am

Re: Hi, my name is ____ and I'm a stumbling, bumbling idiot (Bombu)

Post by The Mantra Mongoose »

I'm truly grateful for Amida Dharma for when i was truly lost a hand of compassion was outstretched to me. I spent years wondering through different religions relying on extreme ascetic practices, and book learning that only engorged my ego. Beaten and tired like a whimpering dog all i wanted to do was rest, but samsara is no place to find peace. I felt like a man lost at sea on a life raft amidst a sever storm with no way out, realizing not only did i deserve to be here but my grave was at my feet. Then, i encountered the teachings of Master Shinran and Rennyo, what was once a man that was hardened by cynicism and guilt slowly started to melt by Amida's light. I struggled with letting go for a while i was scared of what would happen. next, i started reading the writings of my teacher Josho Adrian Cirlea i found relief along with a hand that told me it was ok to relax i didn't need to be on guard all the time,its all Amida's work.

Lastly, one day like a thunderclap it all made sense. I had listened to Amida dharma for a while i though it was my work at the time, but truly it was Amida opening me to Shinjin. When i place my hands in gasso Amida's hand are there holding mine. when i am reciting nembustu Amida is right there in front of me. when i'm alone and beaten by life Amida is there to hold me in his hand like a mother does with her child. i am truly grateful. I pray in aspiration that all sentient beings may share in the merit of Amida buddha, awaken the bodi mind, and be born in the western purleland of peace and bliss. Namu Amida Bu!
Bodhisattva509
Posts: 44
Joined: Wed Aug 28, 2019 2:17 am

Re: Hi, my name is ____ and I'm a stumbling, bumbling idiot (Bombu)

Post by Bodhisattva509 »

I don't like dwelling too much on my bombu nature, because that itself can turn into false piety, that I am holier-than-thou in seeing my fallen nature better than you. I don't see myself as particularly more foolish or ignorant or sinful than the average person.
steveb1
Posts: 728
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2011 9:37 am

Re: Hi, my name is ____ and I'm a stumbling, bumbling idiot (Bombu)

Post by steveb1 »

truthb wrote: Mon Apr 01, 2019 5:32 pm So grateful for this forum, and so grateful for this Dharma path, which not only teaches me to embrace my idiocy, but that BECAUSE of my idiocy that I will be saved!

Because of my failures, both in life and in my quest for enlightenment, I am getting humbled.

Because of Shinran's teachings, I can "Leverage" (make use) of my stupidity and recognize that on my own, enlightenment is a hopeless endeavor.

In THAT recognition, then I become open to entrusting myself to Other Power.... and in that, my salvation can be found.

<3 <3 <3

Hi, my name is Truth, and I am a stumbling, bumbling idiot!

Fellow Bombus, feel free to introduce yourself.
Hi. Nice to know you, and thanks for your post.

As they say, Shin begins with failure and acknowledgement of it. We fail at charity, meditation, we fall off the self-power path toward Bodhi, we go on being pulled by blind passions, attachment, and the rest of it.

Thank God - or rather, thank Amitabha Buddha - for his inconceivable gifts of Shinjin and Nembutsu.

Once a bombu, always a bombu, but the Buddha's amazing grace puts an end to that kind of existence when we take birth into his Pure Land.

Namo Amida Butsu.
steveb1
Posts: 728
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2011 9:37 am

Re: Hi, my name is ____ and I'm a stumbling, bumbling idiot (Bombu)

Post by steveb1 »

The Mantra Mongoose wrote: Fri Aug 23, 2019 7:34 pm I'm truly grateful for Amida Dharma for when i was truly lost a hand of compassion was outstretched to me. I spent years wondering through different religions relying on extreme ascetic practices, and book learning that only engorged my ego. Beaten and tired like a whimpering dog all i wanted to do was rest, but samsara is no place to find peace. I felt like a man lost at sea on a life raft amidst a sever storm with no way out, realizing not only did i deserve to be here but my grave was at my feet. Then, i encountered the teachings of Master Shinran and Rennyo, what was once a man that was hardened by cynicism and guilt slowly started to melt by Amida's light. I struggled with letting go for a while i was scared of what would happen. next, i started reading the writings of my teacher Josho Adrian Cirlea i found relief along with a hand that told me it was ok to relax i didn't need to be on guard all the time,its all Amida's work.

Lastly, one day like a thunderclap it all made sense. I had listened to Amida dharma for a while i though it was my work at the time, but truly it was Amida opening me to Shinjin. When i place my hands in gasso Amida's hand are there holding mine. when i am reciting nembustu Amida is right there in front of me. when i'm alone and beaten by life Amida is there to hold me in his hand like a mother does with her child. i am truly grateful. I pray in aspiration that all sentient beings may share in the merit of Amida buddha, awaken the bodi mind, and be born in the western purleland of peace and bliss. Namu Amida Bu!
Yes, Josho Cirlea and the late Paul Roberts are exemplars of the true teaching that Amida Buddha is a real Buddha, not a mere symbol of some impersonal mechanism or process of Enlightenment. I would also very strongly recommend the work of John Paraskevopoulos, whose books are easily found on Amazon.
steveb1
Posts: 728
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2011 9:37 am

Re: Hi, my name is ____ and I'm a stumbling, bumbling idiot (Bombu)

Post by steveb1 »

Bodhisattva509 wrote: Thu Aug 29, 2019 4:18 am I don't like dwelling too much on my bombu nature, because that itself can turn into false piety, that I am holier-than-thou in seeing my fallen nature better than you. I don't see myself as particularly more foolish or ignorant or sinful than the average person.
Yeah, that's a funny bit of human psychology. If (say) a Christian can't be the greatest saint, s/he can be the greatest sinner. Same with Shin, as you mention - we don't want to start distinguishing ourselves by claiming to be the worst bombu who ever took birth in Samsara...
truthb
Posts: 69
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2018 11:48 pm

Re: Hi, my name is ____ and I'm a stumbling, bumbling idiot (Bombu)

Post by truthb »

The Mantra Mongoose wrote: Fri Aug 23, 2019 7:34 pm I'm truly grateful for Amida Dharma for when i was truly lost a hand of compassion was outstretched to me. I spent years wondering through different religions relying on extreme ascetic practices, and book learning that only engorged my ego. Beaten and tired like a whimpering dog all i wanted to do was rest, but samsara is no place to find peace. I felt like a man lost at sea on a life raft amidst a sever storm with no way out, realizing not only did i deserve to be here but my grave was at my feet. Then, i encountered the teachings of Master Shinran and Rennyo, what was once a man that was hardened by cynicism and guilt slowly started to melt by Amida's light. I struggled with letting go for a while i was scared of what would happen. next, i started reading the writings of my teacher Josho Adrian Cirlea i found relief along with a hand that told me it was ok to relax i didn't need to be on guard all the time,its all Amida's work.

Lastly, one day like a thunderclap it all made sense. I had listened to Amida dharma for a while i though it was my work at the time, but truly it was Amida opening me to Shinjin. When i place my hands in gasso Amida's hand are there holding mine. when i am reciting nembustu Amida is right there in front of me. when i'm alone and beaten by life Amida is there to hold me in his hand like a mother does with her child. i am truly grateful. I pray in aspiration that all sentient beings may share in the merit of Amida buddha, awaken the bodi mind, and be born in the western purleland of peace and bliss. Namu Amida Bu!
Wow- thank you- this message moved me to tears.

I have had moments of that level of feeling held by Amida- and your post reminds me of them... and helps deepen my faith.
Based on The Lotus Sutra, it is my conviction that each person who is reading this will INEVITABLY become a Fully Realized Buddha.
truthb
Posts: 69
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2018 11:48 pm

Re: Hi, my name is ____ and I'm a stumbling, bumbling idiot (Bombu)

Post by truthb »

Bodhisattva509 wrote: Thu Aug 29, 2019 4:18 am I don't like dwelling too much on my bombu nature, because that itself can turn into false piety, that I am holier-than-thou in seeing my fallen nature better than you. I don't see myself as particularly more foolish or ignorant or sinful than the average person.
hmmmm hadn't thought of that.

I tend to be on the arrogant side.... and I am to the point where it is a life or death endeavor for me to stay mindful of my Bombu-hood and hence need for Amida.
Based on The Lotus Sutra, it is my conviction that each person who is reading this will INEVITABLY become a Fully Realized Buddha.
steveb1
Posts: 728
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2011 9:37 am

Re: Hi, my name is ____ and I'm a stumbling, bumbling idiot (Bombu)

Post by steveb1 »

truthb wrote: Sat Oct 19, 2019 4:02 am
Bodhisattva509 wrote: Thu Aug 29, 2019 4:18 am I don't like dwelling too much on my bombu nature, because that itself can turn into false piety, that I am holier-than-thou in seeing my fallen nature better than you. I don't see myself as particularly more foolish or ignorant or sinful than the average person.
hmmmm hadn't thought of that.

I tend to be on the arrogant side.... and I am to the point where it is a life or death endeavor for me to stay mindful of my Bombu-hood and hence need for Amida.
You know, I think all we Shin people are in this position. Our ego-based mode tends to enforce our false conception of self power in spiritual matters. Shin calls this attitude "calculation". But as you mentioned, we need to be reminded that our bombu nature will always tend to fall back on self power. We are indeed average persons, and Shin does not transform us into saints or Buddhas in this life. Paradoxically, my own awareness of my bombu-hood keeps sending me back to the Nembutsu and reminds me that I am always embraced by the Buddha, "never to be let go", whose grace and merit alone redeems me in this life and will vivify my Buddha Nature in the Pure Land.
truthb
Posts: 69
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2018 11:48 pm

Re: Hi, my name is ____ and I'm a stumbling, bumbling idiot (Bombu)

Post by truthb »

steveb1 wrote: Sat Oct 19, 2019 4:13 am
truthb wrote: Sat Oct 19, 2019 4:02 am
Bodhisattva509 wrote: Thu Aug 29, 2019 4:18 am I don't like dwelling too much on my bombu nature, because that itself can turn into false piety, that I am holier-than-thou in seeing my fallen nature better than you. I don't see myself as particularly more foolish or ignorant or sinful than the average person.
hmmmm hadn't thought of that.

I tend to be on the arrogant side.... and I am to the point where it is a life or death endeavor for me to stay mindful of my Bombu-hood and hence need for Amida.
You know, I think all we Shin people are in this position. Our ego-based mode tends to enforce our false conception of self power in spiritual matters. Shin calls this attitude "calculation". But as you mentioned, we need to be reminded that our bombu nature will always tend to fall back on self power. We are indeed average persons, and Shin does not transform us into saints or Buddhas in this life. Paradoxically, my own awareness of my bombu-hood keeps sending me back to the Nembutsu and reminds me that I am always embraced by the Buddha, "never to be let go", whose grace and merit alone redeems me in this life and will vivify my Buddha Nature in the Pure Land.
:)

Appreciating this post... that I think sums up my whole problem- been trying to be a Spiritual Rock star my whole life.... and succeeding.... for periods of time- going into deep spiritual states... but then was unable to maintain them.

Thank you Shin Buddhism for helping me understand why my efforts weren't enough.

"whose grace and merit alone" wow- struck by that.... this is the place I am getting to... I am in the place of "unsettled shinjin." Your post strengthens my faith that it really is possible for me too- to be embraced by Amida.



Thank You
Based on The Lotus Sutra, it is my conviction that each person who is reading this will INEVITABLY become a Fully Realized Buddha.
steveb1
Posts: 728
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2011 9:37 am

Re: Hi, my name is ____ and I'm a stumbling, bumbling idiot (Bombu)

Post by steveb1 »

truthb wrote: Sat Oct 19, 2019 9:14 pm
steveb1 wrote: Sat Oct 19, 2019 4:13 am
truthb wrote: Sat Oct 19, 2019 4:02 am

hmmmm hadn't thought of that.

I tend to be on the arrogant side.... and I am to the point where it is a life or death endeavor for me to stay mindful of my Bombu-hood and hence need for Amida.
You know, I think all we Shin people are in this position. Our ego-based mode tends to enforce our false conception of self power in spiritual matters. Shin calls this attitude "calculation". But as you mentioned, we need to be reminded that our bombu nature will always tend to fall back on self power. We are indeed average persons, and Shin does not transform us into saints or Buddhas in this life. Paradoxically, my own awareness of my bombu-hood keeps sending me back to the Nembutsu and reminds me that I am always embraced by the Buddha, "never to be let go", whose grace and merit alone redeems me in this life and will vivify my Buddha Nature in the Pure Land.
:)

Appreciating this post... that I think sums up my whole problem- been trying to be a Spiritual Rock star my whole life.... and succeeding.... for periods of time- going into deep spiritual states... but then was unable to maintain them.

Thank you Shin Buddhism for helping me understand why my efforts weren't enough.

"whose grace and merit alone" wow- struck by that.... this is the place I am getting to... I am in the place of "unsettled shinjin." Your post strengthens my faith that it really is possible for me too- to be embraced by Amida.



Thank You
...and thank you for your kind words. We finally come to the place where (to borrow Christian phrasing) we simply "let go and let Amida".
:)
truthb
Posts: 69
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2018 11:48 pm

Re: Hi, my name is ____ and I'm a stumbling, bumbling idiot (Bombu)

Post by truthb »

[/quote]

...and thank you for your kind words. We finally come to the place where (to borrow Christian phrasing) we simply "let go and let Amida".
:)
[/quote]

Reflecting on that, this came to me:

It is written Jesus said, "Of myself, I can do nothing."

And

But by the Grace of Amida, go I.
Based on The Lotus Sutra, it is my conviction that each person who is reading this will INEVITABLY become a Fully Realized Buddha.
steveb1
Posts: 728
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2011 9:37 am

Re: Hi, my name is ____ and I'm a stumbling, bumbling idiot (Bombu)

Post by steveb1 »

truthb wrote: Mon Oct 21, 2019 4:30 am
...and thank you for your kind words. We finally come to the place where (to borrow Christian phrasing) we simply "let go and let Amida".
:)
[/quote]

Reflecting on that, this came to me:

It is written Jesus said, "Of myself, I can do nothing."

And

But by the Grace of Amida, go I.
[/quote]

As beautifully phrased as it is true.
:)
Post Reply

Return to “Jodo Shin Shu”