I would like to ask you a question about the ethicality of my behaviour regarding various events which I would like to describe below. A long time ago, I helped my brother to go to to study to another country. I fully trusted him and did everything I can do for him. It appeared that, before and after departing abroad, he was consuming drugs intensively with other drug addicts (mainly marijuana). Of course, everything was hidden and neither me nor my parents realized about this until he got psychosis (shizophrenia). During the first episode, he attempted to kill a psychiatrist. He started beating her in her office in the presence of my parents and said: "she was lucky that I did not not have a pen. Otherwise, I would have killed her with it."
After the incident, he was hospitalized for six months. After he was released, he had a strange behaviour (e.g., kissing my mother on the lips, etc). In about 1-2 years, he was stabilized and even succeeded to finish his studies and found a work for a few months. At some point, he decided that his medicaments are the big obstacle in his life and decided to stop them because he was perfectly healthy. A month after he stopped his medicaments, I proposed to my girlfriend to marry. The wedding was planned in about 7 months. Suddenly my brother became a friend with the local drug dealer (we later understood that he is a drug dealer) and 1 day before Christmas, my brother told my mother that he is going to see a friend for a bit. A few hours later the police called my parents and informed them that they found my brother in an unconcousness state on the ice during the winter. He stayed on the ice for a few hours. The police brought him to the hospital and saved him, but my parents were very surprised when they were informed that the drug test for Marijuana was positive. They did not believe that after the first episod, my brother decided to proceed with Marijuana again.
The second episode was a horror. My brother was constantly saying that he will kill himself. For example, he said to my father that he will jump from the balcony. After my father replied that he may injure himself, my brother noted that he will intentionally jump with the head ahead in order to die. He also said that he would like to have euthanesia, that he will see his family from the sky, he has given all his passwords to us because he would not need them, and that I need to take care of parents after he departure. This emotional abuse lasted more than 4 months. My parents attempted to hospitalize him, but the doctors said that he has do something to be hospitalized. He also had seessions with a psychologist.
My wedding approached and my parents, including my brother, attempted to come to the wedding, but my brother started behaving irrationally (e.g., attempting to jump from the window of the car) and they decided that only one of them can go to the wedding. The other one tried a few times to go with my brother there, but it was not possible. After trying to go to the wedding, but unsuccesfully, my father returned back with my brother at home and went to sleep. My brother was calm before my father went to sleep. Aftermy father fell asleep, my brother attempted to burn a cigarette, but there was not fire and he started the cooking plate in order to burn the cigarette. However, at some point, for an unknown reason, he decided to jump from the balcony and died immediately. A few hours later, my father discovered his body. On the next day, the wedding car was prepared to departure for the wedding and, instead, me and my wife had to go to a funeral. I had to select the coffin on my wedding day (of course, the wedding was cancelled) and pay the funeral. Afterwards, we invited my parents to live with us for 1 month.
I am still thinking sometimes about the ethicality of my behaviour not to cancel the wedding after his second episode and have a guilt about that. However, I did not want to give up to the emotional abuse (self-harm threats) and become a hostage to irrational behaviour for the rest of my life. Furthermore, the psychiatrist were constantly saying that he will be "good" soon, inspite of the fact that this has not happened. His other friend (a drug addict) has recently killed his grandfather with a knife (more than 20 hits with the knife).
I would appreciate to hear your thoughts on the ethicality from a buddhist point of view on this entire story.
A forum for discussion of Buddhist ethics.
1 post • Page 1 of 1