OK so I think I want to post again about my smoking habit.
I went back to smoking after a short time around 5 days.
Facts about my smoking habit:
I smoke about Two 20 packs per day. Sometimes I chain smoke like way to many cigarettes in a row.
I have tried about a dozen or more times to quit via just throwing out my cigarettes and quitting right then and there (not sure if thats called a cold turkey attempt or not)
I buy cheap cigarettes (probably illegally) at the convenience store across the street
I get free cigarettes from my parents who pretty much drive them to me everyday
I get cigarettes sometimes from my neigbours.
I have tried counselling and had virtually no success other than 48 hours without smoking.
I own about 5 books on quitting smoking and probably didn't give them the effort they deserve.
I smoke indoors but have been smoking outside alot more lately. I am in a local housing unit that is subsidized and it is illegal to smoke inside.
Smoking indoors makes me a bit concerned for my 2 cats.
I talk alot to my parents about quitting smoking.
I think that marijuana was a gateway into my smoking cigarettes.
Smoking is a terrible habit and I probably deserve to feel embarrased but I seem to feel repressed in that sense.
I bought an e-cigarette to try (I claim I've been trying to quit but maybe my attempts are just so weak that I can't even call it trying.) to switch to that but failed over the last couple weeks.
One idea I had is to cut back. Maybe I could smoke my vape indoors and smoke 100% outside and keep a log of all my ciggarettes. I've done that before and it lead to myself stopping for about 4 days that time.
Ideas for me to quit:
1. Throw out my ciggarettes right now and vape all day and go cold turkey.
2. Read my quit smoking books.
3. Work with a tobacco counsellor.
4. Take drugs for quitting.
5. Replace smoking with: Video Games, Reading, Exercising, playing with my cats, playing guitar, cleaning my apartment, meditating, yoga or tai chi, pursuing new healthier friendships, healthy snacking, journaling, listening to music, trying to stop my minds need for the satisfaction of relaxation and focus that smoking provides through mindfulness, Dharma study, doing things for others, volunteer work or regular work, reading the news, chanting the precepts/repenting or prostrations.
6. Scaring myself out of smoking through watching videos.
7.
Maybe I should take this post to a smoking help web chat or call a smokers help line.