Hoping to find what im looking for...

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terrybodi
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2021 12:00 am

Hoping to find what im looking for...

Post by terrybodi »

hello,my name is terry. My story has been tough, but here it goes.
My youth i was brought up roman catholic and by the time i was a teenager , i felt like it didn't make sense. so i turned to a form of belief in nothing and decided just to live my life however i felt at that time. by the time i was 20 i was experimenting with cigarettes, caffeine, alcohol, and marijuana. With all that come an addiction to buying things, things i didnt need. so for another 7 years i lived like that. bouncing from job to job, never happy with my life, suffering every day. by 28 i started to suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and soon i began to cut things out of my life. first was the alcohol, caffeine next, third the marijuana, and finally the cigarettes. i formally declared i am a Buddhist to my friends and family. in some way as an excuse to stop all these vices my friends wanted me to continue for the path i was on partying with them. At the time i knew very little of Buddhism but saw my life get marginally better after quitting the things that affected my consciousness. so step by step i have been slowly trying to find my path in the Buddhist way. i recently cut out violent video games, movies, and tv in hopes of finding more peace in my life. my initial goal was to be anxiety free but i still have problems every day. ive been researching the middle path as well as ive come to understand alot of my suffering is from wanting things. i still have a spending problem that causes issues for me every month and i know if i could find the middle where i can still buy some things and not be to the extreme im sure i would be happier. I know that there is no simple solution , and that any change i make will take a real shift in my thinking to accomplish. so now by joining this forum im hoping to get a better understanding of philosophy , and maybe some help from some experienced people to make the changes i need to in my life. right now people in my community think im crazy for believing in anything other then catholic so i have no support here.
thanks for listening to my story.
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Budai
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Re: Hoping to find what im looking for...

Post by Budai »

May You Awaken The Buddha Within!

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PadmaVonSamba
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Re: Hoping to find what im looking for...

Post by PadmaVonSamba »

If you see something you want to buy,
You can consider all of its qualities that you like, and then you can think:
“I wish for that thing to make someone happy”
...and then just leave it there.
This way, you replace desire with generosity.
EMPTIFUL.
An inward outlook produces outward insight.
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DNS
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Re: Hoping to find what im looking for...

Post by DNS »

Welcome to DW!

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Shotenzenjin
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Re: Hoping to find what im looking for...

Post by Shotenzenjin »

Welcome
Generation's shall pass, our determination shall grow, at the foot of Mount Fuji
Like smoke that reaches far beyond the clouds.--nichimoku shonin. Third high priest of Nichiren Shoshu

Hokekko of true Buddhism https://nstny.org

Introduction to Nichiren Shoshu Buddhism
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source= ... VKyEQ_cxK9
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Hazel
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Re: Hoping to find what im looking for...

Post by Hazel »

Welcome :heart:
Happy Pride month to my queer dharma siblings!

What do you see when you turn out the lights?
reiun
Posts: 978
Joined: Sun Apr 12, 2020 4:08 pm
Location: Florida USA

Re: Hoping to find what im looking for...

Post by reiun »

terrybodi wrote: Tue Apr 06, 2021 12:21 am hello,my name is terry. My story has been tough, but here it goes.
My youth i was brought up roman catholic and by the time i was a teenager , i felt like it didn't make sense.
Understood. Had catechism crammed into my head K-8 by the Sisters of Charity, and Religion class 9-12 taught by Xaverian Brothers. As a sophomore we debated "Should priests be allowed to marry?" Only three or four others in the class of 40 joined me in favor. At the time, I was dating the daughter of a Unitarian minister. Pastor at All Souls Church in DC, and author of a book about Rev. Reeb, who was murdered in Selma in the 60's Civil Rights struggle, he became a real role model. I thought: what better *father* could there be to raise a family? Like you, I then felt it didn't make sense.
terrybodi wrote: Tue Apr 06, 2021 12:21 am so i turned to a form of belief in nothing and decided just to live my life however i felt at that time. by the time i was 20 i was experimenting with cigarettes, caffeine, alcohol, and marijuana.
I tried most everything back then except cigarettes because my mom died of lung cancer. Best day was when I gave away my Toker II and Trip-Beam Balance.
terrybodi wrote: Tue Apr 06, 2021 12:21 am With all that come an addiction to buying things, things i didnt need . . . I know that there is no simple solution , and that any change i make will take a real shift in my thinking to accomplish. so now by joining this forum im hoping to get a better understanding of philosophy , and maybe some help from some experienced people to make the changes i need to in my life. right now people in my community think im crazy for believing in anything other then catholic so i have no support here.
It is great to have you here. I am a retired psychotherapist, and so my perspective also includes the therapeutic path as a primary means of addressing intrapsychic challenges. You discuss (possibly carrying a diagnosis of) generalized anxiety disorder, so perhaps you've got this covered, and that would be great.
terrybodi wrote: Tue Apr 06, 2021 12:21 am ive come to understand alot of my suffering is from wanting things . . .
Well, no doubt, a number of people here can empathize!
terrybodi wrote: Tue Apr 06, 2021 12:21 am thanks for listening to my story.
Thanks for sharing. Good guts.
lightofbuddha
Posts: 14
Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2021 5:33 am

Re: Hoping to find what im looking for...

Post by lightofbuddha »

hello, glad you become brave to share your problems and ask for help that big deal , i passed hard underground darkness life for over 10 years , so i understand you, i quit almost all the bad things by myself, when you feel no comfortable you can chant mantra of avalokiteshara Om Mani Padme Hum, it is helping a lot of calm down, even just using buddhist beads or just beads, helping to calm down and relax, also you may stop drink coffee or tea and drink no caffeine things, i understand such problems completely, you can write me (i do not know if private messages are working for me now, i am new here, but in the "Introduction" i created a post with a part of my story, where i look for friends, i wrote my email there if private messages are not working, wish you defect all the obstacles , kind regards Konstantin.
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