I hope you can give me some advice.... it's a complicated one I'm afraid
I have been a Buddhist for a long time, and I had thought I had dealt with the childhood abuse and forgiven my father.
However a year and a half ago I had a baby boy, and my protective instincts really kicked in.
I was nolonger able to tolerate him and suddenly finding his visits, impulsive negative comments, and occasional inappropraite touching of my son unbareably stressful.
I asked him in a letter to acknowledge his sexual inappropriateness towards my sister and I in our childhood, and to take steps to understand his own actions.
He didn't reply for 4 months, and then finally wrote saying he was sorry, that he thinks we should move on with our lives without him. (in his words; "because he can only be a negative influence and cause us depression").
Yesterday he called me, and I picked up by mistake and was forced into a conversation with him. I was polite and I think I made it clear that we need him to understand "Why" he did what he did to us, maybe to get some therapy.
TBH honest I think I'm handling this in the right way... mindfully and carefully... But I am finding it sooooo stressful. I feel sick when I think of him or think of seeing him or talking to him any time soon. I don't know how to find compassion for him.
I know many people come to religion, and Buddhism to overcome massive difficulties in their lives... I'm kind of hoping someone here might be able to share how they overcame an issue such as this.