Practising with a new family
- beautiful breath
- Posts: 85
- Joined: Fri May 06, 2011 11:00 am
Practising with a new family
I have recently aquired a new family - well my partner has moved in with her 11yo son. Its all good but the new dynamic makes normal practice difficult. for example, getting up at 5am to practice is not going to go down to well - unless I return to bed afterwards ... that's going to give me more to think about than I need when sitting. How do others manage?
Thanks,
BB
Thanks,
BB
- Dave The Seeker
- Posts: 409
- Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2011 11:02 pm
- Location: Reading MI USA
Re: Practising with a new family
I am working through the same dilemma in a way.
When my girl and her daughters moved back in I lost the room which I used for my Shrine room.
I am trying now to get a room built in my out building, so I can do my practice there. As a Shrine in a bedroom isn't the best place as has been strongly suggested. So right now my practice is not on a regular basis at all. Just do my best in my day to day activities to be Mindful.
Do you have an option of another "place" to practice? Possibly a garage or shed in the backyard?
Kindest wishes, Dave
When my girl and her daughters moved back in I lost the room which I used for my Shrine room.
I am trying now to get a room built in my out building, so I can do my practice there. As a Shrine in a bedroom isn't the best place as has been strongly suggested. So right now my practice is not on a regular basis at all. Just do my best in my day to day activities to be Mindful.
Do you have an option of another "place" to practice? Possibly a garage or shed in the backyard?
Kindest wishes, Dave
Everyday problems teach us to have a realistic attitude.
They teach us that life is what life is; flawed.
Yet with tremendous potential for joy and fulfillment.
~Lama Surya Das~
If your path teaches you to act and exert yourself correctly and leads to spiritual realizations such as love, compassion and wisdom then obviously it's worthwhile.
~Lama Thubten Yeshe~
One whose mind is freed does not argue with anyone, he does not dispute with anyone. He makes use of the conventional terms of the world without clinging to them
~The Buddha~
They teach us that life is what life is; flawed.
Yet with tremendous potential for joy and fulfillment.
~Lama Surya Das~
If your path teaches you to act and exert yourself correctly and leads to spiritual realizations such as love, compassion and wisdom then obviously it's worthwhile.
~Lama Thubten Yeshe~
One whose mind is freed does not argue with anyone, he does not dispute with anyone. He makes use of the conventional terms of the world without clinging to them
~The Buddha~
- beautiful breath
- Posts: 85
- Joined: Fri May 06, 2011 11:00 am
Re: Practising with a new family
...thanks. The location isn't an issue. How can I put this... its me getting out of bed so early that she's not happy with. Problem is that's when I meditate and the only current option is to return after my session! It might sound fickle but its a big deal for her as she has no interest in Buddhism. She isn't demanding that I return or don't get up, but I know it'll be a struggle for her to understand/accept.
BB
BB
- Dave The Seeker
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- Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2011 11:02 pm
- Location: Reading MI USA
Re: Practising with a new family
Ahhh I see. I guess I'm lucky that way, I'm always up early and my girl doesn't have a problem with that.
But also, in a situation where a couple begins to live together, there will be difficulties in 'adjusting' to the others habits or schedule if you will.
This one seems to be a not so big one. But in her eyes I guess it is. There is always a bit of give and take in these situations. What you're doing isn't something that causes harm to the relationship, so she should understand that it's 'just what you do' at that time of day. It's your morning routine. I hope this works out for you and her quickly and without too many challenges.
Kindest wishes, Dave
But also, in a situation where a couple begins to live together, there will be difficulties in 'adjusting' to the others habits or schedule if you will.
This one seems to be a not so big one. But in her eyes I guess it is. There is always a bit of give and take in these situations. What you're doing isn't something that causes harm to the relationship, so she should understand that it's 'just what you do' at that time of day. It's your morning routine. I hope this works out for you and her quickly and without too many challenges.
Kindest wishes, Dave
Everyday problems teach us to have a realistic attitude.
They teach us that life is what life is; flawed.
Yet with tremendous potential for joy and fulfillment.
~Lama Surya Das~
If your path teaches you to act and exert yourself correctly and leads to spiritual realizations such as love, compassion and wisdom then obviously it's worthwhile.
~Lama Thubten Yeshe~
One whose mind is freed does not argue with anyone, he does not dispute with anyone. He makes use of the conventional terms of the world without clinging to them
~The Buddha~
They teach us that life is what life is; flawed.
Yet with tremendous potential for joy and fulfillment.
~Lama Surya Das~
If your path teaches you to act and exert yourself correctly and leads to spiritual realizations such as love, compassion and wisdom then obviously it's worthwhile.
~Lama Thubten Yeshe~
One whose mind is freed does not argue with anyone, he does not dispute with anyone. He makes use of the conventional terms of the world without clinging to them
~The Buddha~
Re: Practising with a new family
A new family is practice.
Re: Practising with a new family
Give it time. My wife is christian and at first she was skeptical about practice at home, but now she's used to it. There is of course always give and take, for example, it's not always at the same time every day, and I usually have to tailor my practice to suite a particular time frame. This has become even more of a learning curve since I became a daddy
Gassho,
Seishin
Gassho,
Seishin
- beautiful breath
- Posts: 85
- Joined: Fri May 06, 2011 11:00 am
Re: Practising with a new family
justsit wrote:A new family is practice.
Haha! Tell her that! Remember she is Mrs Conventional Reality (my teacher in that respect)!
Re: Practising with a new family
She'll get used to itbeautiful breath wrote:I have recently aquired a new family - well my partner has moved in with her 11yo son. Its all good but the new dynamic makes normal practice difficult. for example, getting up at 5am to practice is not going to go down to well - unless I return to bed afterwards ... that's going to give me more to think about than I need when sitting. How do others manage?
Thanks,
BB
Abandoning Dharma is, in the final analysis, disparaging the Hinayana because of the Mahayana; favoring the Hinayana on account of the Mahayana; playing off sutra against tantra; playing off the four classes of the tantras against each other; favoring one of the Tibetan schools—the Sakya, Gelug, Kagyu, or Nyingma—and disparaging the rest; and so on. In other words, we abandon Dharma any time we favor our own tenets and disparage the rest.
Liberation in the Palm of your hand~Kyabje Pabongkha Rinpoche.
Liberation in the Palm of your hand~Kyabje Pabongkha Rinpoche.
Re: Practising with a new family
Hell, I got used to Caz, anything's possible!
Good to see ya again btw.
Good to see ya again btw.
Sergeant Schultz knew everything there was to know.
Re: Practising with a new family
I'am always aboutcatmoon wrote:Hell, I got used to Caz, anything's possible!
Good to see ya again btw.
Abandoning Dharma is, in the final analysis, disparaging the Hinayana because of the Mahayana; favoring the Hinayana on account of the Mahayana; playing off sutra against tantra; playing off the four classes of the tantras against each other; favoring one of the Tibetan schools—the Sakya, Gelug, Kagyu, or Nyingma—and disparaging the rest; and so on. In other words, we abandon Dharma any time we favor our own tenets and disparage the rest.
Liberation in the Palm of your hand~Kyabje Pabongkha Rinpoche.
Liberation in the Palm of your hand~Kyabje Pabongkha Rinpoche.
- beautiful breath
- Posts: 85
- Joined: Fri May 06, 2011 11:00 am
Re: Practising with a new family
Alrighty then...
- Dechen Norbu
- Posts: 3056
- Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2011 6:50 pm
Re: Practising with a new family
I'm not seeing where you are harming her exactly. Does she complain about it? It seems to me that you are not doing anything that could annoy her, so what's the problem?beautiful breath wrote:...thanks. The location isn't an issue. How can I put this... its me getting out of bed so early that she's not happy with. Problem is that's when I meditate and the only current option is to return after my session! It might sound fickle but its a big deal for her as she has no interest in Buddhism. She isn't demanding that I return or don't get up, but I know it'll be a struggle for her to understand/accept.
BB
Re: Practising with a new family
Relationships can be a tricky thing. Having a partner get out of bed at 4 or 5 am every morning could be annoying (perhaps not for you). And the OP did indicate she's not happy with it. Having an 11 year old boy start living with you will probably require you to adapt quite a bit as well (I have a 12 yo son who can be annoying ). In fact all of you will need to get used to each other. There will be complexities far beyond your practice and how you are affected.Dechen Norbu wrote:I'm not seeing where you are harming her exactly. Does she complain about it? It seems to me that you are not doing anything that could annoy her, so what's the problem?beautiful breath wrote:...thanks. The location isn't an issue. How can I put this... its me getting out of bed so early that she's not happy with. Problem is that's when I meditate and the only current option is to return after my session! It might sound fickle but its a big deal for her as she has no interest in Buddhism. She isn't demanding that I return or don't get up, but I know it'll be a struggle for her to understand/accept.
BB
This may actually be a good thing for your practice. It's one thing to practice in an environment you can control, it's another thing to integrate your practice into a broader, dynamic and intimate relationship. I think the consideration and thought you are putting into finding a balance speaks well for you and I'd trust that you will find a solution that works for everyone.
- Spirituality
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Re: Practising with a new family
I do think that the lamas would prefer you have some sort of shrine and regular meditation practice, even if it is in the bedroom, rather than none. Same with regular practice. I have quite good meditations on my bed, which I've always studied on, so the associations really aren't all to do with sleeping anyhow. I find that putting my meditation cushion, mala and meditation book on there turns it into a meditation spot for me. My altar is at the head of the bed on the window sill, so I can close the curtains on it when I use the bed as a bed, so to speak. the making of the bed in the morning is my 'cleaning of the place'. We're lay practitioners, we have to improvise. Saying Om Ah Hum as you turn some spot into your meditation spot ought to help turn it into a meditation spot where you can concentrate.The Seeker wrote:I am working through the same dilemma in a way.
When my girl and her daughters moved back in I lost the room which I used for my Shrine room.
I am trying now to get a room built in my out building, so I can do my practice there. As a Shrine in a bedroom isn't the best place as has been strongly suggested. So right now my practice is not on a regular basis at all. Just do my best in my day to day activities to be Mindful.
Do you have an option of another "place" to practice? Possibly a garage or shed in the backyard?
Kindest wishes, Dave
- Dave The Seeker
- Posts: 409
- Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2011 11:02 pm
- Location: Reading MI USA
Re: Practising with a new family
Thank you very much for that reply Spirituality.
I thought the same, but was informed another location would be more "proper" from members here.
Many of whom I respect their opinion.
here is a link to the thread:
http://www.dharmawheel.net/viewtopic.ph ... in+bedroom" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Kindest wishes, Dave
I thought the same, but was informed another location would be more "proper" from members here.
Many of whom I respect their opinion.
here is a link to the thread:
http://www.dharmawheel.net/viewtopic.ph ... in+bedroom" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Kindest wishes, Dave
Everyday problems teach us to have a realistic attitude.
They teach us that life is what life is; flawed.
Yet with tremendous potential for joy and fulfillment.
~Lama Surya Das~
If your path teaches you to act and exert yourself correctly and leads to spiritual realizations such as love, compassion and wisdom then obviously it's worthwhile.
~Lama Thubten Yeshe~
One whose mind is freed does not argue with anyone, he does not dispute with anyone. He makes use of the conventional terms of the world without clinging to them
~The Buddha~
They teach us that life is what life is; flawed.
Yet with tremendous potential for joy and fulfillment.
~Lama Surya Das~
If your path teaches you to act and exert yourself correctly and leads to spiritual realizations such as love, compassion and wisdom then obviously it's worthwhile.
~Lama Thubten Yeshe~
One whose mind is freed does not argue with anyone, he does not dispute with anyone. He makes use of the conventional terms of the world without clinging to them
~The Buddha~