Nasreddīn Hodja

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Grigoris
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Nasreddīn Hodja

Post by Grigoris »

Reaching enlightenment
Nasreddin was walking in the bazaar with a large group of followers. Whatever Nasreddin did, his followers immediately copied. Every few steps Nasreddin would stop and shake his hands in the air, touch his feet and jump up yelling "Hu Hu Hu!". So his followers would also stop and do exactly the same thing. One of the merchants, who knew Nasreddin, quietly asked him: "What are you doing my old friend? Why are these people imitating you?" "I have become a Sufi Sheikh," replied Nasreddin. "These are my Murids (spiritual seekers); I am helping them reach enlightenment!" "How do you know when they reach enlightenment?" "That’s the easy part! Every morning I count them. The ones who have left – have reached enlightenment!"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasreddin" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
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"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
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Re: Nasreddīn Hodja

Post by AdmiralJim »

I like the sound of this guy..........would have been good banter
I don't know where we are going but it will be nice when we get there
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Re: Nasreddīn Hodja

Post by Grigoris »

One of the neighbors found Nasreddin scattering crumbs all around his house.
"Why are you doing that?" he asked.
"I'm keeping the tigers away," replied Nasreddin.
"But there aren't any tigers around here," said the neighbor.
"That's right," said Nasreddin. "You see how well it works?"
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
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Re: Nasreddīn Hodja

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Nasreddin Khodja commanded his disciples, when he sneezed, to salute him by clapping their hands and crying out: "Haïr Ollah, Khodja," that is "Prosperity to thee, O Master!" Now it came to pass that on one of the days the bucket fell into the well [...] he descended, caught the bucket, and the boys were already pulling him up, when, just as he was drawing near the edge of the well, he chanced to sneeze. Whereupon they, mindful of the master's behest, let go the rope and, clapping their hands in high glee, cried out in chorus: "Haïr Ollah, Khodja," Nasreddin was precipitated violently into the well, bruising himself against the sides. [...] "Well, boys, it was not your fault, but mine: too much honour is no good thing for man."
Knowledge is like the carrot, few know by looking at the green top that the best part, the orange part, is there. Like the carrot, if you don't work for it, it will wither away and rot. And finally, like the carrot, there are a great many donkeys and jackasses that are associated with it.
nasreddin hoca.jpg
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"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
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Re: Nasreddīn Hodja

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A man climbed up a tree but couldn't get back down. He asked the help of the passers-by. Nasreddin Hodja happened to be there too and said that he could help. He found a long rope and threw one end of it to the man up on the tree.
`Tie this around your waist!' he said.
`What are you doing Hodja Effendi?' the others wanted to interfere, `You cannot rescue a man from a tree like that.'
`Trust me,' the Hodja tried to calm them down, `this method is tested and true.' Once the man wrapped one end of the rope around his waist and made a strong knot, Nasreddin Hodja pulled the man down amidst cries of the watching crowd. The man fell on the ground with a huge thump and was badly hurt.
`Hodja Effendi, we warned you. Look what you have done.' the crowd said.
`I once saved a man with this exact same method,' the Hodja explained, `but I cannot remember if it was from a tree or from a water well.'
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One day the Hodja collected sprigs and twigs in the woods and tied them into a bundle. He was going to use them as fire wood in his home. After he finished loading his donkey, he started to doubt if these useless branches were going to burn well. He decided to try, just a tiny corner of the bundle on the donkey's back. But as soon as he lit the match, the sprigs caught fire and with the help of the blowing wind, the entire batch started to burn on the back of the poor donkey. The unfortunate animal, frightened, started to run away. Nasreddin Hodja, feeling terribly guilty, thought he should give the pitiable creature a little advice.
`If I were you,' he yelled from behind, `I would run towards the lake.'
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
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Re: Nasreddīn Hodja

Post by Grigoris »

Nasrudin used to take a donkey across the frontier every day, with the panniers loaded with straw. Since he admitted to being a smuggler when he trudged home every night, the frontier guards searched him again and again. They searched his person, staffed the straw, steeped it in water, even burned it from time to time.... One of the customs officers met him years later.
"You can tell me now, Nasrudin," he said. "Whatever was it that you were smuggling, and we could never catch you out?"
"Donkeys," said Nasrudin.
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
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Re: Nasreddīn Hodja

Post by Grigoris »

One day Hodja was walking along with his donkey near a cliff face wen the donkey lost its balance, slipped and fell over the cliffs edge. The poor animal plummeted to its death at the bottom of the cliff. Hodja looked down at the broken corpse of the donkey for a while and then said: "Apparently it had learned how to fly, but did not know how to land properly."
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
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Re: Nasreddīn Hodja

Post by Lhug-Pa »

Probably the most classic one:

One day Nasreddin Hodja and his young son were on their way to the market. The Hodja was riding his donkey and his son was walking beside him. As they travelled such, they heard a couple of villagers who happened to be passing by, speak disapprovingly about them.

`Look at our Hodja Effendi,' one said to the other, `he is comfortably riding on his donkey and letting his little boy walk along. Shame on the Hodja for making the boy suffer like that!' When Nasreddin Hodja heard this, he wanted to rectify what was perceived as his selfishness. He put his son on the donkey and he started to walk beside. Shortly after, they met another couple of villagers.

`Look at the Hodja and his son!' they said, `These are the times we are living in. A young boy is riding on the donkey and his poor old father is sweating to keep the pace. Today's children have no respect for their parents.' Nasreddin Hodja found some reason in this comment and thought of another remedy. They both got off of the donkey and started to walk beside it. A little while later, a group of villagers, also going to the market, approached the procession of the Hodja, the son and the donkey, all walking one after the other.

`This Hodja Effendi and his son have no minds, whatsoever.' they whispered amongst themselves, `They are both beating on their feet and the donkey is strolling along. Don't these people know what a donkey is for?' Hodja heard this and thought they had a point. The solution was clear. Both he and his son sat on the donkey. As they continued their trip this way, thinking that they have finally complied with all the opinions of their fellow villagers, they met another of their acquaintances. He was not very happy to see both the Hodja and the boy on a scrawny donkey.

`Hodja Effendi,' he yelled, `don't you know no mercy? How is this poor little animal supposed to carry two people? The donkey is also Allah's creation, have some pity.' Nasreddin Hodja agreed with this last remark as well. What were they to do? He shouldered the front body of the donkey and his son took on the back part, and they carried the donkey to the market place.
[quote=""Wikipedia""]The miller, his son and the donkey is a widely dispersed fable, number 721 in the Perry Index. Though it may have ancient analogues, the earliest extant version is in the work of the 13th century Arab writer Ibn Said. There are many eastern versions of the tale and in Europe it was included in a number of Mediaeval collections. Since then it has been frequently included in collections of Aesop's fables as well as the influential Fables of Jean de la Fontaine.[/quote]
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Re: Nasreddīn Hodja

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An Iranian gave Hodja letter that he had received from a friend back home and asked Hodja to read it to him. Hodja looked at the letter. It was in Persian and the handwriting was terrible. So he told the man: "Have somebody else read it"
The man insisted.
"Listen!" said Hodja : "I don't know Persian and even if it were in Turkish, the writing is so bad that I still wouldn't be able to read it." He explained.
The Iranian became furious.
"You are wearing a huge robe and turban, but you can't even read a simple letter. You should be ashamed of yourself!"
Hodja took off his robe and turban and gave them to the man.
"If one can do anything by wearing a robe and a turban, then there! You wear them and read the letter yourself!" He replied.
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
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Re: Nasreddīn Hodja

Post by Grigoris »

Carrying weapons was prohibited but Hodja always carried a large curved knife with him. One day he was caught carrying it into the Medrese (theological school). When the guard asked him what he was going to do with it Hodja replied: "I use the knife to scrape off* the mistakes I find in the books."
The guard became irritated and said to Hodja:
"You liar! You don't need such a large knife for that task!"
"Oh my dear sir! It seems you are not aware that sometimes there are such big mistakes in the books, that even this large knife is not big enough to erase them!"
*In Hodjas day they used to use small knives as erasers for printed/written text.
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"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
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Re: Nasreddīn Hodja

Post by Grigoris »

Hodja went to the pulpit and before he started his sermon he asked the congregation: "Do you know what I will be talking about today?
"No!" answered the congregation.
"If you don't know, then what can I possibly tell you?" he replied and walked away.
The next week, he went to the pulpit and asked the same question.
"Yes, we do!" answered the congregation.
"If you do, then there is nothing more for me to tell you!" said Hodja and walked away again.
The memebrs of the congregation decided that if Hodja asked the same question again, half would answer "Yes!" and the other half of the congregation would answer "No!"
The following week Hodja went to the pulpit and asked the same question a third time. The congregation responded just as they had decided, half of them said "Yes, we do!" and the other half responded "No, we don't"
"In that case," said Hodja "let those who know tell the ones who don't know" and he walked away again.
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
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Re: Nasreddīn Hodja

Post by Grigoris »

Hodja was sitting by the window of his house when he saw a funeral procession approaching from up the street. The relatives of the deceased man were crying and wailing: "Oh, oh oh! You are going to a dark place where there is no light or fire, no food or water!"
Hodja turned to his wife and said: "Quickly! Go out and lock the door, they want to bring the deceased man to our house!"
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
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Re: Nasreddīn Hodja

Post by greentara »

My dear!
You haven't the feet
for this path --
why struggle?
You've no idea where
the idol's to be found --
what's all this
mystic chat?
What can be done
with quarrelsome
fellow travelers,
boastful
marketplace
morons?
If you were really a lover
you'd see that faith and infidelity
are one...
Oh, what's the use?
nit-picking
about such things
is a hobby for
numb brains.
You are pure spirit.

Hakim Sanai
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Re: Nasreddīn Hodja

Post by Grigoris »

During a conversation with Tamerlane, Hodja started bragging about his donkey.
"It is so smart that I can teach it to read!" He said.
"Then go ahead and teach it hoe to read. I give you three months!" Ordered Tamerlane.
Hodja went home and began to train his donkey. He put its feed between the pages of a big book and taught it to turn the pages with its tongue in order to find its feed. Three days before the three month period was over he stopped feeding it.
When he took his donkey to Tamerlane, Hodja asked for a big book and placed the book in front of the donkey. The hungry animal turned the pages of the book one by one with its tongue and since it did not find any feed between the pages it started braying.
Tamerlane carefully observed the donkey and commented:
"This sure is a strange way of reading!"
"What did you expect sir?" Replied Hodja.
"This is exactly how a donkey reads!"
Seems that somebody around here ha been taking reading lessons from Hodjas donkey! ;)
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"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
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Re: Nasreddīn Hodja

Post by Grigoris »

A foreign scholar and his entourage were passing through Aksehir. The scholar asked to speak with the town's most knowledgeable person. Of course the townsfolk immediately called Nasreddin Hodja. The foreign savant didn't speak Turkish and our Hodja didn't speak any foreign languages, so the two wise men had to communicate with signs, while the others looked on with fascination.

The foreigner, using a stick, drew a large circle on the sand. Nasreddin Hodja took the stick and divided the circle into two. This time the foreigner drew a line perpendicular to the one Hodja drew and the circle was now split into four. He motioned to indicate first the three quarters of the circle, then the remaining quarter. To this, the Hodja made a swirling motion with the stick on the four quarters. Then the foreigner made a bowl shape with two hands side by side, palms up, and wiggled his fingers. Nasreddin Hodja responded by cupping his hands palms down and wiggling his fingers.

When the meeting was over, the members of the foreign scientist's entourage asked him what they have talked about.

`Nasreddin Hodja is really a learned man.' he said. `I told him that the earth was round and he told me that there was equator in the middle of it. I told him that the three quarters of the earth was water and one quarter of it was land. He said that there were undercurrents and winds. I told him that the waters warm up, vaporize and move towards the sky, to that he said that they cool off and come down as rain.'

The people of Aksehir were also curious about how the encounter went. They gathered around the Hodja.

`This stranger has good taste,' the Hodja started to explain. `He said that he wished there was a large tray of baklava. I said that he could only have half of it. He said that the syrup should be made with three parts sugar and one part honey. I agreed, and said that they all had to mix well. Next he suggested that we should cook it on blazing fire. And I added that we should pour crushed nuts on top of it.'
pistachio nut baclava.png
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"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
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Re: Nasreddīn Hodja

Post by catmoon »

I don't care, just send me some of that baklava, please.
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Re: Nasreddīn Hodja

Post by Rakz »

That is one epic turban.
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Re: Nasreddīn Hodja

Post by Grigoris »

drukpa kunleys donkey.jpg
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http://www.scribd.com/doc/79672413/Keit ... kpa-Kunley" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Nasreddin Hodja taught his donkey to read, Drukpa Kunley taught his to chant! :twothumbsup:
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
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Re: Nasreddīn Hodja

Post by Grigoris »

One day four boys approached Hodja and gave him a bagful of walnuts.
"Hodja, we can't divide these walnuts evenly among us, could you please help us?"
So Hodja asked them: "Do you want God's way of distribution or the mortal's way?"
"Gods way!" the children replied.
Hodja opened the bag and gave two handfuls of walnuts to one child, one handful to the other, two walnuts to the third child and none to the fourth.
"What kind of distribution is this?" the children asked baffled.
"Well, this is God's way." he answered. "He gives some people a lot, some people a little and nothing to others. If you had asked for the mortal's way I would have given the same amount to everybody."
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"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
The Fundamental Tantra of Dzogchen Semde
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Re: Nasreddīn Hodja

Post by Grigoris »

Hodja had a yearning for a delicious bowl of soup with lots of yoghurt and mint leaves in it. As he was sitting at home thinking to himself "I wish I had a bowl of soup that I could sip" he heard somebody knocking on the courtyard door.

Hoja went out to see who it was and found the neighbours son holding an empty bowl in his hands.
"My father says 'hello' and asks if he can borrow a bowl of soup if you have some." said the boy.
Hodja smiled and said: "Well, it seems my neighbours can even smell my fantasies!"
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"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
The Fundamental Tantra of Dzogchen Semde
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