Forced marriage & violence toward women

Discuss your personal experience with the Dharma here. How has it enriched your life? What challenges does it present?

Re: The Lotus Sutra

Postby rory » Sat Mar 24, 2012 8:56 am

And in some countries a rapist can avoid prison time by marrying their victim. Obviously there are some cases where marriage is not the answer.
''

That is just plain disgusting and not necessary to forward the argument. I've noticed that the men here on some threads indulge in sophomoric sexual humour. I've never said anything because I didn't participate in those threads, I'm thinking of the 'consorts' one. But I do here. And I want it to stop.

Rory
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Re: The Lotus Sutra

Postby Sherab Dorje » Sat Mar 24, 2012 9:06 am

rory wrote:...I've noticed that the men here on some threads indulge in sophomoric sexual humour. I've never said anything because I didn't participate in those threads, I'm thinking of the 'consorts' one. But I do here. And I want it to stop.
I don't think you will find me indulging in sophomoric sexual humor and I used the example to outline that marriage is not always the answer, so just chill out, because you are merely projecting.
:namaste:
Last edited by Sherab Dorje on Sat Mar 24, 2012 9:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
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One will not attain the real result
One will be like a blind man who has no eyes."
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Re: The Lotus Sutra

Postby rory » Sat Mar 24, 2012 8:10 pm

I don't think you will find me indulging in sophomoric sexual humor and I used the example to outline that marriage is not always the answer, so just chill out, because you are merely projecting


Of course I'm projecting I'm a woman and rape and forced marriage only occur to women. And it is NEVER the answer which is part of what is so appalling.

such a skillful buddhist :pig:
Dharani of Amoghapasa Avalokitesvara:

Om amogha-padma-pasa-krodhakarsaya praveshaya maha-pashupati-yama-varuna-kuvera
brahma-vesa-dhara padma-kula-samayan hum hum

heart mantra: Om amogha vijaya hum phat
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Re: The Lotus Sutra

Postby Blue Garuda » Sat Mar 24, 2012 9:32 pm

rory wrote:
I don't think you will find me indulging in sophomoric sexual humor and I used the example to outline that marriage is not always the answer, so just chill out, because you are merely projecting


Of course I'm projecting I'm a woman and rape and forced marriage only occur to women. And it is NEVER the answer which is part of what is so appalling.

such a skillful buddhist :pig:



Sorry to butt in but you are wrong. In Rajasthan, for example, pre-teen boys and girls are made to marry.

Rape is also performed by women on men - we have recently had a prosecution in the UK.

Finally, Buddhism is about intention. Greg kindly pointed out his motivation to you, which you should accept rather than impute what fits your own world view.

_/\_
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Re: The Lotus Sutra

Postby rory » Sun Mar 25, 2012 2:05 am

Blue Garuda;
obviously you and Greg don't care how unpleasant such a reminder is; that for a majority of women we can be raped and in many parts of the world forced into marriage to 'fix' it. Telling me of a few cases where a female teacher rapes a young boy or a boy is forced into child marriage doesn't equalize this and is frankly pretty shameful. :pig:

as I said the lack of feeling doesn't surprise me as a woman as a lesbian.
But who expects compassion wisdom and understanding among Buddhists?
rory

and yes forced marriage happens in Germany and the US
http://theahafoundation.org/tag/forced- ... es/page/2/ Ayan Hirsi Ali foundation
a link to Amina Filali; raped & commited suicide after forced marriage to her rapist.
http://secularhumanist.blogspot.com/201 ... icide.html
Dharani of Amoghapasa Avalokitesvara:

Om amogha-padma-pasa-krodhakarsaya praveshaya maha-pashupati-yama-varuna-kuvera
brahma-vesa-dhara padma-kula-samayan hum hum

heart mantra: Om amogha vijaya hum phat
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Forced marriage & violence toward women

Postby Sherab Dorje » Sun Mar 25, 2012 8:52 am

Dear Rory,

I reccomend you go and read the Private Message I sent you, because the only shameful activity at this point is your continued public insistence of my misogyny based on your mistaken imputation of the meaning of my previous statements.
:namaste:
Last edited by Sherab Dorje on Sun Mar 25, 2012 9:32 am, edited 1 time in total.
"When one is not in accord with the true view
Meditation and conduct become delusion,
One will not attain the real result
One will be like a blind man who has no eyes."
Naropa - Summary of the View from The Eight Doha Treasures
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Re: The Lotus Sutra

Postby Blue Garuda » Sun Mar 25, 2012 9:30 am

rory wrote:Blue Garuda;
obviously you and Greg don't care how unpleasant such a reminder is; that for a majority of women we can be raped and in many parts of the world forced into marriage to 'fix' it. Telling me of a few cases where a female teacher rapes a young boy or a boy is forced into child marriage doesn't equalize this and is frankly pretty shameful. :pig:

as I said the lack of feeling doesn't surprise me as a woman as a lesbian.
But who expects compassion wisdom and understanding among Buddhists?
rory

and yes forced marriage happens in Germany and the US
http://theahafoundation.org/tag/forced- ... es/page/2/ Ayan Hirsi Ali foundation
a link to Amina Filali; raped & commited suicide after forced marriage to her rapist.
http://secularhumanist.blogspot.com/201 ... icide.html


If it is shameful to prove your assertions incorrect? It is surely totally shameful to then accuse me of equating one example with another and launch into personal abuse. You were wrong and making daft assertions based on false premises. Get over it and stop preaching and seeking an escalation which is just feeding to your own anger, sadly very obviously rising within you.

You are demonising people you do not know on the basis of a personal hangup which has led to your projection of it onto others. To use something as an example is not the same as claiming it is a good thing. The battle is all going on in your mind, not mine and not Greg's. THis is what you will find in Buddhism - compassion, not pity. It works by seeking what is best - and IMHO it would be best for you to find a Guru and work through whatever problems you are clearly struggling with.
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Re: Forced marriage & violence toward women

Postby Jikan » Mon Mar 26, 2012 2:49 pm

If you look at it historically & globally, it's true that women have been overwhelmingly on the receiving end of such abuse. Rory may have overstated matters when she claims it happens only to women, but her point is generally correct.
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Re: Forced marriage & violence toward women

Postby Sherab Dorje » Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:35 pm

Jikan wrote:If you look at it historically & globally, it's true that women have been overwhelmingly on the receiving end of such abuse. Rory may have overstated matters when she claims it happens only to women, but her point is generally correct.
Undoubtedly. But this does not mean we should ignore incidences of rape, forced marriage and other forms of violence and abuse perpertrated upon men (either by women or other men). I don't think you will find anybody here disagreeing that it happens mainly to women, but you will find people that disagree that it happens solely to women.

Anyway, my original comment referred to forced marriage in a metaphorical sense, as a VERY clear example of where the marriage/wedding/union of ideas is not always a positive thing. There was no attempt on my part to condone forced marriage, quite the contrary.
:namaste:
"When one is not in accord with the true view
Meditation and conduct become delusion,
One will not attain the real result
One will be like a blind man who has no eyes."
Naropa - Summary of the View from The Eight Doha Treasures
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Re: The Lotus Sutra

Postby Dronma » Tue Mar 27, 2012 3:16 am

rory wrote:
And in some countries a rapist can avoid prison time by marrying their victim. Obviously there are some cases where marriage is not the answer.
''

That is just plain disgusting and not necessary to forward the argument. I've noticed that the men here on some threads indulge in sophomoric sexual humour. I've never said anything because I didn't participate in those threads, I'm thinking of the 'consorts' one. But I do here. And I want it to stop.

Rory


Well, I agree with Rory! :thumbsup:
But I also think that Greg is honest when he says: "I used the example to outline that marriage is not always the answer".
Rory, some men all around the world cannot understand what is rape, what is sex discrimination, what is oppression of women through violence etc.
It is always good to object strongly in such cases, otherwise nothing will change in this world. :smile:
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Re: The Lotus Sutra

Postby Blue Garuda » Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:30 am

Dronma wrote:
rory wrote:
And in some countries a rapist can avoid prison time by marrying their victim. Obviously there are some cases where marriage is not the answer.
''

That is just plain disgusting and not necessary to forward the argument. I've noticed that the men here on some threads indulge in sophomoric sexual humour. I've never said anything because I didn't participate in those threads, I'm thinking of the 'consorts' one. But I do here. And I want it to stop.

Rory


Well, I agree with Rory! :thumbsup:
But I also think that Greg is honest when he says: "I used the example to outline that marriage is not always the answer".
Rory, some men all around the world cannot understand what is rape, what is sex discrimination, what is oppression of women through violence etc.
It is always good to object strongly in such cases, otherwise nothing will change in this world. :smile:


Thank you for a balanced and strong answer. The problem with Rory's response was that it was incorrect, made false assumptions about members here and their motivation based on that incorrect premise, and was overstated and abusive - with little 'pig' icons etc. There is clearly anger which Buddhism can certainly help with. I wish her well with that. _/\_
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Re: Forced marriage & violence toward women

Postby Dechen Norbu » Tue Mar 27, 2012 1:46 pm

I'm subscribing Blue Garuda's words here.
Rory, calm down, friend.
Nobody is trying to harm you. Perhaps Greg's metaphor wasn't the best, but his intention wasn't ill. That seems obvious to everyone. People are not out to get you, you know? :lol:
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Re: Forced marriage & violence toward women

Postby Ogyen » Fri Apr 13, 2012 2:03 am

Jikan wrote:If you look at it historically & globally, it's true that women have been overwhelmingly on the receiving end of such abuse. Rory may have overstated matters when she claims it happens only to women, but her point is generally correct.


Dear Jikan... you forget all the little boys. Not to mention all the victims of sexual trafficking. There is no gender discrimination there.

Rape occurs to men and women, boys and girls, children and infants, and even the male & female elderly. Rape is about power expressed through sexualized anger. It can happen to anyone. Forced marriage occurs for both men and women, boys and girls as well. So there isn't so much use or benefit in pointing fingers so much as simply acknowledging that suffering transcends gender and violence happens because of minds steeped in ignorance. I'm a woman too. And I've survived rape.

:namaste:
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