Dechen Norbu wrote:
WARNING: Operation players are NOT real doctors!
Angelic Fruitcake wrote:I am going to try a meditation meeting at a local zen-center under Thich Nhat Hahns order. But as much as I think I would enjoy mmeting the man himself, I worry I'll feel alienated among the followers. That happens quite often, even with the most well-intended people.
Angelic Fruitcake wrote:Hello all,
I have a problem. I have come to understand that many consider it a bad idea to try the buddhist path without a teacher. However, the number of teachers in any given order are very few here. My problem is I have difficulties connecting with other people and often feel uncomfortable or distressed in the company of strangers. It's very rare for me to find somebody I feel I can trust, and from what I gather this is absolutely essential when choosing a teacher.
I think it may be diccifult to understand for someone without my condition (I have Asperger's, a mild form of autism). But given what I've told you, what would you suggest? The reason I find it difficult to trust people is mainly that it's difficult for me to detect when someone is insincere and I have difficulties understanding hidden agendas. But more than that, I am both physically and mentally repelled by most people. I prefer them from a distance, I often feel invaded by others. Since meditation practice and following the buddhist path would open up the very core of me, I am afraid I would not be able to handle ending up with the wrong teacher. In fact, just the process of visiting local centers and talking to teachers makes me break into a cold sweat,
Angelic Fruitcake wrote:Thank you for your words of encouragement. I have no intent of diving into complicated sutras about tantra and such. I'm solely focused on the eightfold path and mindfulness meditation. I will keep reading and see if any particular lineage appeals to me enough that I will go look for a teacher.
"The Heart of the Buddhas Teaching"
Angelic Fruitcake wrote:HH Dalai Lama's book on Dzogchen.
Thrasymachus wrote:I feel much the same as the topic starter. I never felt like I belonged to this world, to American society, to capitalist society. I don't like the company of most other people. Since I discovered Buddhism in 2008 via books it made me change my life. It made me stop doing drugs, contributed to my going vegan and want to avoid other non-virtuous activities. It made me realize that most other people are toxic, negative influences. It is like they say in Buddhist teachings, humans have much more potential than to just seek pleasure and avoid pain, even animals can do that. However if you look at your immediate environment, unless perhaps if you are in a monastery, everyone just seeks out greed, hedonism and to avoid what is unpleasant. It is not a very inspiring example, it drags you down closer to their level even if you want to seek a more virtuous path you just get discouraged.
However I have done more bogarting, wasting time, reading books, than actual mediation. Partly because my life is more of an existential crisis than something immanently livable and I have lots of negative sub-conscious beliefs, discomfort, and a bad environment. I can only wonder if I was more serious in my practice how different my life would have been. In the beginning of 2011 I went on on a week health retreat and it made me feel alot better while there, because the people there were oriented toward self-improvement and gossip was discouraged. Even though I didn't know those people people I felt much better around them than amongst my own family and so called friends.
I read a little in e-sangha about a Chinese Buddhist monk, Hsuan Hua, who become quite renowned without the benefit of a sangha, recourse to a monastery, or much retreat, but just using his own discipline to meditate in his own village. But I don't think I, or most people are like that, that we can follow his same methods. I realize now that it would be better if I find a sangha and teacher, but it doesn't seem there are many in northern New Jersey where I live. And even if there is one, I intensely don't trust most other Westerners. It seems everyone just centers their life on their relationship to money and vices in their spare time like tv, internet, drugs, alcohol. I wonder can even dharma practitioners be any different? Can they ever overcome the negative karma of the deeds they must make in the name of corporations to procure a living?
Thrasymachus wrote:However if you look at your immediate environment, unless perhaps if you are in a monastery, everyone just seeks out greed, hedonism and to avoid what is unpleasant. It is not a very inspiring example, it drags you down closer to their level even if you want to seek a more virtuous path you just get discouraged.
Mr. G wrote:Split Topic: teknix's Views
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