"What was Fonzie?"
"C ... cool?"
"That's right - Fonzie was cool. So that's what we're all gonna be right now. We're gonna be cool."
Speaking of erm - unwholesome v wholesome - I understand (really!) that people can
change. Whether they actually do or not - well - it's rare in my opinion. But then I'm just a doubting asura ...
Actually, and we see it every day - even the SOBs of this world can sometimes show kindness - I have seen it during my walk on this planet. But then - I suppose it's an underlying tendency - they can devolve back into that mean (or angry, or whiny - pick a trait you don't like an insert here ______
) And do you want to hang with a person like that?
O yes, understanding that they are acting the way they do (and that you to act the way you do) is due to delusions about self and how we colour our perceptions with 'self' - imbue them with self) can help one to deal with that person in a compassionate matter - with metta - and by metta I don't mean St. Francis or the Ven. Ananda (remarkably free of ego problems IMO). It means maybe one refrains from snapping at the person - one takes a breath and doesn't imbue their actions with self (Christ! I'm sick of her s...! What 'you' is there to bother - why are 'you' clinging to that noise (her yap yap yapping) for instance).
Or if someone is chronically nasty - ok - you can - through skillfull wisdom - learn not to take their nastiness personally - and get caught up in an aversion ill-will raging asura cycle - but still - you might just choose to - compassionately - not hang out with them - keep a bit of distance.
You can be nice (metta and all that) but not be stupid.
Just my two cents,