The "Buddhist wedding" question...

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The "Buddhist wedding" question...

Postby meindzai » Fri Mar 19, 2010 8:33 pm

[Nettiqute Deva forgive me my crosspost to Dhammawheel :smile: ]

My fincee and I decided we are going to have a very simple beach wedding, in Florida, sometime in August. In bare feet! No fancy big wedding dresses and brides maids and all that jazz. And though "Buddhist weddings" are a bit of a modern invention, she is open to having some Buddhist element to it. Anybody have any ideas, and is anybody here from Florida? I'm at a complete loss, since up until a couple of years ago I never thought I'd get married. lol

-M
"The Dharma is huge." - Rael
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Re: The "Buddhist wedding" question...

Postby ball-of-string » Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:48 am

Congratulations! When I renewed my vows with my partner, I found these helpful. Both are from Access to Insight.
I'd like to have a Buddhist wedding. Any suggestions?
In the world of Theravada Buddhism marriage is regarded as a civil contract, not as a spiritual or religious union. Thus there is no standard Buddhist liturgy for marriage. You may simply include whatever texts or passages you and your spouse-to-be find inspiring.

A wedding is an excellent time to formally renew your commitment to both the Triple Gem and the five precepts. In Buddhist countries a couple might pay a visit to the local monastery shortly before or after their wedding to offer food to the monastic community, recite the refuges and precepts in a formal way, receive a little Dhamma instruction, and possibly receive a blessing or two from the monks. If such a visit isn't possible for you, you might put together your own refuges and precepts ceremony (use the formal ceremony as a guide). You might also consider reciting the "Five Subjects for Frequent Recollection," the Maha-mangala Sutta, or any other passages that inspire you.


A Happy Married Life: A Buddhist Perspective:
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/dhammananda/marriage.html
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Re: The "Buddhist wedding" question...

Postby meindzai » Sat Mar 20, 2010 1:21 am

Second crosspost...

How auspicious!

I just found a Buddhist group that's part of a Unitarian church in Clearwater florida, which is not far from the place we'd like to get married...

...And it's called Dhamma Wheel!

Even though my fiancee is open and supportive of my Buddhist practice, and incorporating it into a wedding, she is not Buddhist, and comes from a heavily christian culture (Puerto rico) So I'm trying not to impose too much. Even though I'm not much into the "we're all one religion" unitarian thing, I think that may be the way to go...

Additional (not crossposted) I posted here becuase I would be open to a Theravada or Mahayana (probably Zen) slant. Though this one I found happens to be Theravada. If anybody has info for this area I'd still appreciate it.

-M
"The Dharma is huge." - Rael
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Re: The "Buddhist wedding" question...

Postby Ngawang Drolma » Sun Mar 21, 2010 7:30 pm

meindzai wrote:[Nettiqute Deva forgive me my crosspost to Dhammawheel :smile: ]

My fincee and I decided we are going to have a very simple beach wedding, in Florida, sometime in August. In bare feet! No fancy big wedding dresses and brides maids and all that jazz. And though "Buddhist weddings" are a bit of a modern invention, she is open to having some Buddhist element to it. Anybody have any ideas, and is anybody here from Florida? I'm at a complete loss, since up until a couple of years ago I never thought I'd get married. lol

-M


Congratulations meindzai! :smile:

One option is if you can find a member of the Sangha who is able and willing to provide a ceremony for you, you can always get the technicalities taken care of by a Justice of the Peace (such as at your local courthouse) in private to make it legal. I say this because it's possible that Sangha members you find may not be qualified for that legal peace but happy to provide you with a nice ceremony.

Good luck with this! I hope you'll let us know how it goes.

Best wishes,
Laura
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Re: The "Buddhist wedding" question...

Postby David N. Snyder » Wed Mar 24, 2010 3:59 am

meindzai wrote:Additional (not crossposted) I posted here because I would be open to a Theravada or Mahayana (probably Zen) slant. Though this one I found happens to be Theravada. If anybody has info for this area I'd still appreciate it.


I am also a Theravadin who is open to other Buddhist traditions and likes the wisdom from all of the different schools. My wife also follows Theravada and we were married in a Shambhala - Vajrayana temple in Boulder, Colorado. If you want a Buddhist wedding, it doesn't have to be a Theravada one, especially since apparently many Theravada monks will only do the blessing part afterward. The wedding we had at a Vajrayana temple was legally sanctioned by the State of Colorado since the teacher was an ordained acharya (teacher) or minister in the eyes of the State.
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Re: The "Buddhist wedding" question...

Postby meindzai » Wed Mar 24, 2010 5:18 pm

My fiancee actually visited Unity of Clearwater (Florida) which is where the Dhamma Wheel meditation society is. She was actually more impressed by the energy of the Buddhist side of the fence, as the church side felt a little too "Churchy" for her, even though they were Unitarian.

The whole thing baffles me of course. Three years ago I was planning how to eliminate my debt and possibly ordain. This is um..different. Though these days I'm certain I'll be a better husband than I would have been a monk. :)

-M
"The Dharma is huge." - Rael
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