I give up

Help required with personal difficulties.
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Epistemes
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I give up

Postby Epistemes » Tue Oct 25, 2011 11:22 pm

I don't give up on Buddhism. Chaz would relish in that a little too much. I give up on myself. I don't know why. I just do.
I got a pretty nasty virus Saturday evening - probably the one you have KDT - and I threw up all night long, slept alone and miserable, had stupid 1850s antebellum American Senate dreams: "I say, Mishtuh Congressman, my constituency will stand for these here foibles, nor will I allow myself to transgress the oath that I took as representative..." I watched movies all day Sunday. Stupid meaningless movies. I had to recuperate. Then my girlfriend got sick on Monday, so I tended to her. Now everyone's back to health and I don't care about anything anymore, porn has even lost appeal. **** the world. **** you, ****me, **** it. We're all gonna be just dirt in the ground.
Cantankerous Buddha

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Virgo
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Re: I give up

Postby Virgo » Tue Oct 25, 2011 11:29 pm

Maybe your practice is working?

Kevin

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padma norbu
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Re: I give up

Postby padma norbu » Wed Oct 26, 2011 1:02 am

I agree with Virgo. I just had a similar breakthrough myself.

Check this out: http://www.shambhalasun.com/index.php?o ... 5&Itemid=0
"Use what seems like poison as medicine. We can use our personal suffering as the path to compassion for all beings." Pema Chodron

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David N. Snyder
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Re: I give up

Postby David N. Snyder » Wed Oct 26, 2011 1:03 am

Epistemes wrote:porn has even lost appeal.


Porn had an appeal? I always saw it as being pretty gross, even before being Buddhist. So at least you are on the right track if it is no longer appealing to you.

**** the world. **** you, ****me, **** it. We're all gonna be just dirt in the ground.


Sounds like indifference, an improvement, but near enemy to the desired brahma-vihara of equanimity.

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Epistemes
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Re: I give up

Postby Epistemes » Wed Oct 26, 2011 2:04 am

Virgo wrote:Maybe your practice is working?

Kevin


There's no practice, only shadows.
Cantankerous Buddha

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sangyey
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Re: I give up

Postby sangyey » Wed Oct 26, 2011 3:34 am

Use it as motivation for practice.

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Re: I give up

Postby deepbluehum » Wed Oct 26, 2011 3:57 am

Epistemes wrote:
Virgo wrote:Maybe your practice is working?

Kevin


There's no practice, only shadows.


If you see that, then you are on the right track.

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Grigoris
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Re: I give up

Postby Grigoris » Wed Oct 26, 2011 10:31 am

So now that you have given up are you gonna get the tattoo removed?
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

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Epistemes
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Re: I give up

Postby Epistemes » Wed Oct 26, 2011 1:27 pm

gregkavarnos wrote:So now that you have given up are you gonna get the tattoo removed?


Yes, and I am thinking of getting it replaced with the White Tree of Gondor

Image

or something more James Brown

Image
Cantankerous Buddha

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Grigoris
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Re: I give up

Postby Grigoris » Wed Oct 26, 2011 2:03 pm

That's obviously a post-mortem icon of James Brown the guy has tatooed on his chest.

As for Gondor, I think I prefer the Orcs! Gondor is a little too "white" and angst ridden for my liking.
:namaste:
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

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Karma Dondrup Tashi
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Re: I give up

Postby Karma Dondrup Tashi » Wed Oct 26, 2011 4:11 pm

gregkavarnos wrote:That's obviously a post-mortem icon of James Brown the guy has tatooed on his chest.

As for Gondor, I think I prefer the Orcs! Gondor is a little too "white" and angst ridden for my liking.
:namaste:


Nah Greg you are more Gimli the dwarf.

Image

antebellum American Senate dreams ...

hahahaha

Sorry ... that's just awesome. I dunno why it just is.

:rolling:

Mine’s a tale that can’t be told, my freedom I hold dear.
How years ago in days of old, when magic filled the air.
T’was in the darkest depths of Mordor, I met a girl so fair.
But Gollum, and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her, her, her … yeah
I fled Him, down the nights and down the days; I fled Him, down the arches of the years; I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways, Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears, I hid from Him, and under running laughter. Up vistaed hopes I sped; And shot, precipitated, Adown Titanic glooms of chasmèd fears, From those strong Feet that followed, followed after. But with unhurrying chase, And unperturbèd pace, Deliberate speed, majestic instancy, They beat - and a Voice beat - More instant than the Feet - ‘All things betray thee, who betrayest Me.’

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PadmaVonSamba
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Re: I give up

Postby PadmaVonSamba » Wed Oct 26, 2011 4:51 pm

So........
do you think this feeling is permanent?
Profile Picture: "The Foaming Monk"
The Chinese characters are Fo (buddha) and Ming (bright). The image is of a student of Buddhism, who, imagining himself to be a monk, and not understanding the true meaning of the words takes the sound of the words literally. Likewise, People on web forums sometime seem to be foaming at the mouth.
Original painting by P.Volker /used by permission.

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Epistemes
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Re: I give up

Postby Epistemes » Wed Oct 26, 2011 4:56 pm

PadmaVonSamba wrote:So........
do you think this feeling is permanent?


Nothing's permanent, silly monk.
Cantankerous Buddha

Josef
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Re: I give up

Postby Josef » Wed Oct 26, 2011 4:59 pm

gregkavarnos wrote:That's obviously a post-mortem icon of James Brown the guy has tatooed on his chest.

As for Gondor, I think I prefer the Orcs! Gondor is a little too "white" and angst ridden for my liking.
:namaste:

It may sound like blasphemy but A Song of Ice and Fire is way better.

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Karma Dondrup Tashi
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Re: I give up

Postby Karma Dondrup Tashi » Wed Oct 26, 2011 5:44 pm

Nangwa wrote:It may sound like blasphemy but A Song of Ice and Fire is way better.

:jawdrop:

Heretic. Burn.
I fled Him, down the nights and down the days; I fled Him, down the arches of the years; I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways, Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears, I hid from Him, and under running laughter. Up vistaed hopes I sped; And shot, precipitated, Adown Titanic glooms of chasmèd fears, From those strong Feet that followed, followed after. But with unhurrying chase, And unperturbèd pace, Deliberate speed, majestic instancy, They beat - and a Voice beat - More instant than the Feet - ‘All things betray thee, who betrayest Me.’

Josef
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Re: I give up

Postby Josef » Wed Oct 26, 2011 6:19 pm

Karma Dondrup Tashi wrote:
Nangwa wrote:It may sound like blasphemy but A Song of Ice and Fire is way better.

:jawdrop:

Heretic. Burn.

I know right. I dare not speak such words in the presence of my brothers-in-law.

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Karma Dondrup Tashi
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Re: I give up

Postby Karma Dondrup Tashi » Wed Oct 26, 2011 6:42 pm

Nangwa wrote:
Karma Dondrup Tashi wrote:
Nangwa wrote:It may sound like blasphemy but A Song of Ice and Fire is way better.

:jawdrop:

Heretic. Burn.

I know right. I dare not speak such words in the presence of my brothers-in-law.


Actually I speekee your language. A few of my friends have been telling me it's the best thing since sliced bread. And now we have it on the TV too so I suppose I should get reading/watching ...

But enough of this, back to Epistemes' whining ...
I fled Him, down the nights and down the days; I fled Him, down the arches of the years; I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways, Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears, I hid from Him, and under running laughter. Up vistaed hopes I sped; And shot, precipitated, Adown Titanic glooms of chasmèd fears, From those strong Feet that followed, followed after. But with unhurrying chase, And unperturbèd pace, Deliberate speed, majestic instancy, They beat - and a Voice beat - More instant than the Feet - ‘All things betray thee, who betrayest Me.’

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Epistemes
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Re: I give up

Postby Epistemes » Wed Oct 26, 2011 6:52 pm

Karma Dondrup Tashi wrote:But enough of this, back to Epistemes' whining ...


Thank you. I was beginning to wonder....
Cantankerous Buddha

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Virgo
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Re: I give up

Postby Virgo » Wed Oct 26, 2011 6:55 pm

Epistemes wrote:
Karma Dondrup Tashi wrote:But enough of this, back to Epistemes' whining ...


Thank you. I was beginning to wonder....

Which piece of you is the essential part? Where is your essential being? Is it your hair, your nails, skin, teeth? Your feelings? If so is it anger, happiness? Aren't feelings always changing? So where is this essential being?

Kevin

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Epistemes
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Re: I give up

Postby Epistemes » Wed Oct 26, 2011 7:17 pm

Virgo wrote:
Epistemes wrote:
Karma Dondrup Tashi wrote:But enough of this, back to Epistemes' whining ...


Thank you. I was beginning to wonder....

Which piece of you is the essential part? Where is your essential being? Is it your hair, your nails, skin, teeth? Your feelings? If so is it anger, happiness? Aren't feelings always changing? So where is this essential being?

Kevin


It's my medulla oblongata.
Cantankerous Buddha


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