Smaller footprints in the world = bigger imprints

Alleviating worldly suffering along the way.

Smaller footprints in the world = bigger imprints

Postby Ogyen » Mon Oct 10, 2011 8:38 pm

It's been a long time since I've written anything here. It's nice to see all the old and new faces here!!

I want to write you all my unwritten letters but instead, remembering that it's not the telling of stories that which we cherish, but the connection itself, I think I'll talk about how when I took refuge in 2009 I really broke down into "consuming less". I hit a kind of a rock bottom with it all, it wasn't just this or that in my life, but the whole cycle of suffering simply saturated me to the point I was fed up.

Nowhere to go but up.

I embarked on an adventure to test myself in what I really needed, and dropped what I didn't without too much thought. We often think of sacrifices we have to make as these dreaded losses, things that make us chafe and churn, but I've learned that they're simply accepting what is uncomfortable in such a way that releases the tension that cuts up inside.

Well, that sounds fancy and all, but what does it mean. In simplest terms I was tired of "wanting" because I felt the desire arising with its inevitable end result. To feel good meant I'd also feel bad, to start something also meant it had to end. This incomprehension on my part is a huge part of the knot that gives me so much angst.

So I followed the advice of many dear and kind fellow buddhists to learn to take it easy a bit more, to lessen activities that intensify self-importance, to focus on joy and to really just learn to be open without fear, hostility, and when experiencing those things to be extremely kind to myself in all my own humanity. catmoon, Yeshe, Ngawang D., Optimus Prime, you guys really helped a lot even from a distance in simply letting me come to you about "how do I approach this kind of tension, this kind of knot" or "what does this mean".. the people who don't try to change a thing for me but who let me really come into my own discovery and understanding of ideas of reality and waking dreams.

Dechen Norbu, you my friend were the first to really help me pierce the veil in understanding the seed concept that reality is empty in that our experience of it is like a waking dream... you told me about the painting idea, how two people could see the same painting and feel totally different things, you encouraged me to break through the solidity of my notions and for that, I can never repay you. catmoon taught me a lot about co-existing with that which is supremely uncomfortable, I always respected that kind of naked bravery you have in being openly tender or wrong. Optimus Prime was like a friend who takes on the quality of "voice of reason" to always pause and point out what could be observed. Pausing like that helped me navigate sensibly through some very difficult internal landscapes, the messes of many years of complexes and neuroses. Yeshe always encourages to be kind, to consider the depth of the wound as part of the medicine itself. Ngawang Drolma - my sister you have supported my practice by sending me little gifts, you never had to, but thank you so much, without those pieces, I feel like my path to this sense of adventure would not have developed the same. You were my instrumental influences because of what was withing reach when I hit rock bottom. Jikan, you are like a teacher with how you have shown me practical application in how I can tap into the small influence I do have, by helping my immediate community. Thanks to our interactions I've been able to grow my social awareness and actively engage positively in ways that make small differences.

Meez, retrofuturist, Su DongPo, heart, and many many many others. Even though we've never met, it's like we've walked side by side in so many ways, like so many great connections with others encountered I am failing to mention (and I thank ALL my teachers-near and far whose kindness I can never repay), these are just examples here from Dharma Wheel that really actively helped shape and hone my attitude with so much positive encouragement to face myself kindly and without fear when things got really bumpy.

What's the result of 2 years of this practice and learning? I've learned I don't actually desire to consume more, I've lost near 50 kgs, down to a much healthier life/work routine, I've grown calmer, bolder, started surfing, starting to tattoo soon, still make malas for all who ask in the world as a generosity practice. I've been learning. That's really the bottom line.

I learn daily how little of a deal I am and simultaneously how big of a deal I am. If I don't do something, for myself and those I love, who will? At the same time, I am so minute that if I were to blip away from the face of existence, the world wouldn't notice. Noticing the duality of extremes, the duality built into my vision from having this body and solid form, I've been realizing that perhaps it's not at all impossible to be mindful of the seeming. It seems a lot of things - this reality thing. But I'm still not sure I've quite seen it, because I can almost taste my ignorance in the form of my certainties, and pleasure-seeking habits.

So I've been learning to grow down into the mud, and have been growing my lotus. Also my husband just joined DW today, and wants to take refuge so it seems to be quite real in my experience at least, this karma that moves conditionally to intention. I've made a lot of mistakes, but I've also learned to accept that I'm ignorant and I'm learning, so I just vow to do better next time and try to grow more aware each moment.

This general attitude has grown down from an internet experience in a forum to a full blown lifestyle. In just learning to be good, no matter the reason to be right or find wrongs, I've found a kind of stillness in the compass, a way to really navigate sensibly and productively for the welfare of those around me. It's one step at a time and progress is an illusion. It's just a series of attempts and sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don't. Most importantly it allows me a space to really recognize the precious quality of life and how fleeting it is.

I hope to have some time to perhaps come back and write more, but if I don't, your hearts are in mine where I keep them. I just wanted to write a note of thanks in how this forum and the internet experience of buddhist forums started something in my life that's affected me more than just a few posts, pretty words, and nice beads. I'm a thriving healthy human being who wants less and gives more, who talks less and listens more, who pauses when not sure instead of habitually filling in the gaps. It's only a few steps, but I feel reason to celebrate and enjoy while this life lasts.

You never know how you can impact someone you don't know... always take care to treat them mindfully, it could be the difference between budding and dying in how the flower meets the conditions to flourish... :heart:

All my love,
:bow: :bow: :bow:
D. Ogyen

Image
Image Made from 100% recycled karma

The Heart Drive Word Press
Mud to Lotus

"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." –Arundhati Roy
User avatar
Ogyen
 
Posts: 446
Joined: Sun Dec 06, 2009 5:36 pm

Re: Smaller footprints in the world = bigger imprints

Postby catmoon » Tue Oct 11, 2011 1:36 am

well I'll be doodled, Daphne as returned from the Bardo! Good to see you again. Do you still practice guru yoga?
Sergeant Schultz knew everything there was to know.
User avatar
catmoon
Former staff member
 
Posts: 3006
Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2009 3:20 am
Location: British Columbia

Re: Smaller footprints in the world = bigger imprints

Postby Ogyen » Tue Oct 11, 2011 3:04 am

I sure still do! :D The bardo was interesting. Much like everywhere else... seems like everywhere I go... there goes my crap. HAHA..

I see there's activity here! Happy to be back.

:heart:
D.Ogyen
Image Made from 100% recycled karma

The Heart Drive Word Press
Mud to Lotus

"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." –Arundhati Roy
User avatar
Ogyen
 
Posts: 446
Joined: Sun Dec 06, 2009 5:36 pm

Re: Smaller footprints in the world = bigger imprints

Postby zerwe » Tue Oct 11, 2011 1:40 pm

How wonderful and inspiring. Daphne, It is great to see you posting again.
Shaun :namaste:
zerwe
 
Posts: 230
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2010 4:25 am
Location: North Carolina

Re: Smaller footprints in the world = bigger imprints

Postby Ogyen » Tue Oct 11, 2011 6:51 pm

Thank you Shaun, nice to see you again!!
Image Made from 100% recycled karma

The Heart Drive Word Press
Mud to Lotus

"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." –Arundhati Roy
User avatar
Ogyen
 
Posts: 446
Joined: Sun Dec 06, 2009 5:36 pm

Re: Smaller footprints in the world = bigger imprints

Postby Kyosan » Sat Oct 15, 2011 1:27 am

I don't know whether you even remember me Ogyen because there wasn't much overlap between the periods when you posted and I posted. And I didn't post real much.

I am glad you are posting again. I've always liked your posts because you are a person who I think is really practicing the way. It's not just about reading some books and understanding some ideas. It's also about how you live your life and how you treat others. In your posts you were always kind and helpful to others. In your posts, I could see that you weren't just repeating things that you read but thinking deeply and applying the dharma to life in this world we live in.
:namaste:
Kyosan
 
Posts: 331
Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2010 10:57 pm
Location: USA, Tucson

Re: Smaller footprints in the world = bigger imprints

Postby Ogyen » Sat Oct 15, 2011 6:31 pm

Kyosan - I remember you quite well! It's actually amazing how much a person comes through the forum, to the point I remember you guys down to your quirks, peaves, personalities in how you act/react.

Thank you for such kind words, I'm not sure I'm "really practicing the way." I'm just doing my best and continually discover just how short I fall. To feel that utter failure (which really sucks to feel) has in many ways brought home just how little separation there is between people. I hear a lot of things in a day, personal notions, truth-sounding opinions, and it's all acquired this slightly surreal (but still real) quality.

I've come to understand a very interesting point this last week that's made itself quite vivid: All we ever know of other people are our thoughts about them. Why? Because if we don't even stop to question our assumptions as truths, we can never even know ourselves. We know our thoughts about ourselves, but when I ask the crucial question that gets to the heart of it, I find even myself wanting to squirm out of the scrutiny chair.

My only interest in forum life is how it affects other people. That is, what can I say to you that you can be left with as the last thing you read that will bring you some joy, a different lighter way to look at things.

As many posters here helped me do that, I feel strongly about making sure forum time is very productive. We have a precious opportunity that is beyond the internets because we're all trying for the same thing: learn to apply wisdom in real-time. Not hindsight, that serves no one, not some day far from now, that's too abstract. But right now.

And for that, I humbly have a lot of respect for everyone I meet, I know they are fighting a battle larger than anything I can imagine, just the way I fight my own and it's often bigger than others see. Knowing what you see and what is are different things, that's where I can observe when I'm biting down on some instinctive reaction (the habit that gets ya every time) that I'm just spinning my own story-wheels. Hey, wait a minute, what if nothing of what you see is actually what is?

Powerful doubt. They say it will produce good realization. Let's see... :stirthepot:

Thank you for replying, I'm grateful to reconnect with you!

:namaste:
D. Ogyen
Image Made from 100% recycled karma

The Heart Drive Word Press
Mud to Lotus

"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." –Arundhati Roy
User avatar
Ogyen
 
Posts: 446
Joined: Sun Dec 06, 2009 5:36 pm

Re: Smaller footprints in the world = bigger imprints

Postby edearl » Sat Oct 15, 2011 7:22 pm

Ogyen wrote:Kyosan
...
Hey, wait a minute, what if nothing of what you see is actually what is?
...

:namaste: Ogyen,
:good: all of it 5 star

Yesterday I watched a youtube video in which physicists presented a bit of quantum mechanics to HHDL, and they said that nothing is as it really appears. In other words, everyone's view of reality is not anything like what actually is, and they explained why. Basically, you cannot see atoms, or subatomic particles, the parts of subatomic particles, or the interactions among the atoms, subatomic particles, and parts of subatomic particles--the stuff of actual reality. Thus, from now on you can say, "Nothing of what you see is actually what it is."
HHDL: "My confidence in venturing into science lies in my basic belief that as in science so in Buddhism, understanding the nature of reality is pursued by means of critical investigation: if scientific analysis were conclusively to demonstrate certain claims in Buddhism to be false, then we must accept the findings of science and abandon those claims."
User avatar
edearl
 
Posts: 289
Joined: Fri Sep 23, 2011 10:11 pm
Location: USA, Texas

Re: Smaller footprints in the world = bigger imprints

Postby catmoon » Sat Oct 15, 2011 7:40 pm

Good point. If reality was even remotely like what we see and perceive daily, quantum mechanics would not work at all and there would be no lasers, no computers, maybe even no solid state electronics at all. We'd have to go back to vacuum tube technology.
Sergeant Schultz knew everything there was to know.
User avatar
catmoon
Former staff member
 
Posts: 3006
Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2009 3:20 am
Location: British Columbia

Re: Smaller footprints in the world = bigger imprints

Postby Stephie » Mon Oct 17, 2011 4:28 pm

This is a beautiful post. I haven't really posted much on Dharma wheel and not sure if our paths crossed on E-Sangha, but I'm really happy to read your posts, your genuineness and passion shines through.

X
Steph
User avatar
Stephie
 
Posts: 39
Joined: Thu Mar 04, 2010 6:16 pm

Re: Smaller footprints in the world = bigger imprints

Postby nirmal » Mon Oct 17, 2011 6:54 pm

Time buys us

The real philosophy of life

Thoughts,speech,actions light up

Needing constant vigilance

Not rigid discipline

Learn to commit

Accepting discipline for self-growth

Set rigidity adrift

As we'll only know

What to do

What not

Never can we know

How to be
User avatar
nirmal
 
Posts: 300
Joined: Wed Nov 10, 2010 9:22 pm


Return to Engaged Buddhism

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Yahoo [Bot] and 4 guests

>