Epistemes wrote:If meditation has afforded me one thing, it's afforded me the luxury of allowing me to be honest with myself rather than go on putting up some scharade. The biggest scharade is trying to live life by some supramundane ethical consequence. It's not that I'm an unethical or immoral person by Western standards, but I lack self-control and I find more freedom in being myself than restraining thoughts or speech for fear of karma. As a Christian, I spit in the face of sin, and now I say karma come what may.
Buddhism isn't the path for me. ....
I've learned a lot about Buddhism, but it's not for me. I don't suspect anything is but the play of life.
Being honest with oneself is important, and a good position to be in when one contemplates other aspects of living in this world, as I infer you are doing from reading your posts. Your posts confuse me, as if you have been cast into a body of water at night, and you are swimming in one direction and then another trying to find something solid to stand on. For example, you say that you are neither immoral nor unethical, but you spit in the face of sin and say karma come what may.
Labeling yourself as Christian, Jew, Buddhist, ape, donkey or elephant is not particularly important. People are too complex for an iconic label to fully describe them. People are a mixture of many things including good and bad. It is important to live ones life to be as happy (free from suffering) as possible. I infer you are already contemplating how you want to live your life, which is a Buddhist process whether you become Buddhist or not. I believe you will find your way, but it may be a long and circuitous route. At least, finding my way, after I gave up Christianity and religion, was a long and circuitous route, but I am a better happier person than I would have been otherwise; though, I'm still working on it.
may all your decisions be good ones
HHDL: "My confidence in venturing into science lies in my basic belief that as in science so in Buddhism, understanding the nature of reality is pursued by means of critical investigation: if scientific analysis were conclusively to demonstrate certain claims in Buddhism to be false, then we must accept the findings of science and abandon those claims."