Epistemes wrote: (snipped)
....but then my mind wanders to people on this forum calling me a troll and how angry that makes me feel - then I bring myself back to my outward breath - and then my mind goes toward these sensitive spots. I just recognize them as thoughts and move on with the meditation.
.... But what do Buddhists do? Is there no reconciliation, just arising and falling?
Forgiveness requires a forgiver and a person to forgive. So there is a kind of duality set up. Also, in some sense, the forgiver is superior to the person being forgiven, because the forgiver is the one who grants forgiveness.
A Buddhist approach (and there can be many) is to ask, "Why did that person accuse me of trolling?"
And the answer is the same as why it bothers you, because that person wants to be happy, and so do you. And being accused makes you unhappy, and asking things that push people off heir comfy couch makes them unhappy. But sometimes that's okay, and if, as buddhists, we don't depend
on being happy or dwell
in being unhappy, then there is a lot more freedom and openness in dealing with other people. We can ask all sorts of questions and not worry about it.
"Happiness" in one way, shape or form, is always, ultimately. the motivation. If you keep asking, "why..why...why...along the way, it always comes back to this.
So, the person assumes they know better, or they are calling someone's bluff or whatever, and doing this gives them a feeling of security or importance or of being clever or whatever, and this makes them happy.
I was in another dharma forum and when I posed questions or suggested possibilities that were outside the boundaries of their understanding, my comments were basically dismissed as crap and when I objected, I was accused of trolling. It's gotten too easy to do (in internet forums)and there is no consequence if the accuser is wrong. It wasn't worth the mental frustration, then I found this forum which I think is much more open, and for the most part
people are not afraid of being corrected if their facts are wrong, or so attached to their own experience that they can't see other viewpoints.