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Dechen Norbu wrote:I am qualified to talk about it, unlike you. So please stop saying rubbish as you end up making a fool of yourself, at least at the eyes of someone who knows what Psychology is about. GT should do what his doctor tells him to do, plain and simple. That is what he should be concerned about right now, not considering different Buddhist schools, whether Pure Land or any other.
Dechen Norbu wrote:I mean when I talk about qualified professionals I could be referring to myself. But I'm not a fool to give counseling over an internet forum based on half a dozen posts and my own preconceptions regarding the Buddhadharma. GT will be seeing a qualified professional, right? So he is doing the best thing he could do right now. When he finds himself well again, he can rethink his Dharma options. Right now that's not his most urgent concern. Seeing a therapist is. Perhaps because you don't know how to recognize some warning signs you don't realize you are on thin ice. So let's just end it here, ok?
Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:Depression. Then rage. Then depression.
I forgot why I bother with the Dharma. I was never in it in the first place. I have no refuge.
Listening to music all the time. To hell with practice. I can't generate a single kind thought. I never connected with my practice.
Vengeful fantasies, thoughts of causing trouble and suicide. But I don't dare to jump.
Monday I'm seeing a new pdoc.
Wrote on my Facebook "frak this world. Just frak it."
Just frak it.
Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:How could I carry on on this path?
Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:I seem to come to practice with wrong motivations. Mainly when I am feeling vulnerable and scared, I would seek protection. I recite "Verses of the 8 Noble Auspicious Ones" because of what it promises. "those who recite will....etc". Same for Lama Chenno and Vajra Guru Mantra. There's yearning. There's longing. But maybe it's all selfish. I'm mostly thinking of this life.
Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:Hi,
I seem to be lost. Lost my bearings. Lost my references. I need help re-establishing the view, which I didn't have in the first place, otherwise I wouldn't feel so lost, fearful and sad. I have thought little about practice and have dropped it for a month at least.
I seem to come to practice with wrong motivations. Mainly when I am feeling vulnerable and scared, I would seek protection. I recite "Verses of the 8 Noble Auspicious Ones" because of what it promises. "those who recite will....etc". Same for Lama Chenno and Vajra Guru Mantra. There's yearning. There's longing. But maybe it's all selfish. I'm mostly thinking of this life. Partly because I don't even have the capability to earn my own keep and create conditions for this life. Even then, I think it is still attachment to this life, because if everything goes well, maybe I'll forget about practice also.
I read "Cutting through Spiritual Materialism" and it's like I better give up because whatever I think and practice is wrong. I don't know how to start.
I am prepared to spend time re-establishing the view. Everything I've done so far is useless. Need to gain real confidence on the path.
Any advice? Thanks
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