I was going to stay out of this, but I just couldn't.
You are at the same stage that I was in probably 20 to 25 years ago, so I think I am familiar with what you are feeling now.
In spite of what many people will tell you, it is common to feel a letdown after a period with "Buddhisim". You need to carefully analyse and examine the reasons why you feel this way.
I would say you need to perservere, and continue your exploration of Buddhist thought and philosophy. You DO NOT need to pick a Buddhist school of teaching or a sect to join.
What you should do is read as much about many schools/sects/etc. of Buddhisim. Don't commit yourself to any one of them unless what you read appeals to you. There will be devotees from every school of Buddhisim who will tell you that their school is the "only true" school of Buddhisim....but don't believe them.
They will also tell you that you need a teacher...or a guide...to properly instruct you in the "correct" way to practice...don't believe them either.
The only guide and teacher you can truely trust is your heart and mind. So trust that.
Of course you will make mistakes and sometimes go in the wrong direction. I did also. But if at some point you feel you have gone the wrong way just go back to where you feel comfortable...and then go from there in the direction you feel is right . Do not feel discouraged. just keep looking for your path...following the directions of your heart and your mind. Question everything you read or study. If you do meditation, then meditate on what you read or study. Then again, follow your heart and mind, based on what you feel.
You need to understand what is happening to you. You are experiencing new ideas and new ways of thinking. What is called your "Ego Mind", that mind that says "I am" and "I want" is what was controlling your life previously. Now you are challenging the control of your life and your percieved reality by that "Ego mind". So the dissatisfaction and doubt you feel is that "Ego mind" fighting to retain it's control over you. That is entirely normal and you will feel the doubt of your "Ego mind" more than once in your path to understanding.
Remember the only true guide and teacher is inside of you...in your heart and mind. So listen to no others.
I'm probably going to get a lot of criticisim for what I just told you You probably will also if you follow my advice.
Do you not already have a Mother and Father?
Why then do you think you need another Mother and Father for yourself to be re-born?
Like the man who had a bowl of uncooked rice, and then went searching for fire to cook his meal of rice with a lit candle in his hand...ask yourself...do you truely understand the nature of fire?
There is a story of a foolish man...who was looking at his head in a mirror when he accidentally dropped the mirror and broke it. Because he was a foolish man, he thought his head was broken when he dropped that mirror. Therefore, he spent many years searching for another head to place on his shoulders. Then one day he found another mirror, and looking into it he suddenly realised that he had a head on his shoulders all the time he was searching for another head.
Don't be like that foolish man.
Shame on you Shakyamuni for setting the precedent of leaving home.
Did you think it was not there--
in your wife's lovely face
in your baby's laughter?
Did you think you had to go elsewhere (simply) to find it?
from - Judyth Collin
The Layman's Lament
From What Book, 1998, p. 52
Edited by Gary Gach