Gassho Contra and everyone;
I'm glad you are well & yes, this happened to me in 2003 & I'm fine, perfect.
Let me tell you what my Jodo monk (also euro-american) told me when I was starting out. I had said to him: "I'd like to believe in Amida and the Western Pure Land but I don't."
He replied; "You don't have to believe, you just need the aspiration to believe, that's enough. Chant nembutsu and you'll get faith."
Buddhism is experiential and he was totally right. I went on chanting and indeed have great faith in Amida and believe in the Western Pure Land & of course had proofs...But Contra you have to practice, no one can give you proofs; this is buddhism and you have to do it for yourself.
Now as to Pure Land, these are some of the oldest sutras recorded! They came from around Afghanistan and were translated around the 2nd century C.E. There was Pure Land practice before there was Ch'an in China....So if you have some idea that it is 'new' that's historically incorrect. Now if you wonder if Shakyamuni actually preached this sutra, well there was no one there to record his words -about any sutras. So it's a waste of time. I'm quite pragmatic, I tried many dharma gates and found lots of evidence that Pure Land worked for many, so I figured it would work for me. And it has.
gassho
Rory

