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If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them? - Dhamma Wheel

If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Casual discussion amongst spiritual friends.
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Dugu
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If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Postby Dugu » Mon Nov 23, 2009 3:56 am

My friend is going through some hard time right now and she told me today she doesn't want to live anymore. She's going to be 50 and she suffering from loneliness. Besides telling her to seek professional help (which she has before), is there a Buddhist solution to this problem?

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jcsuperstar
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Re: If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Postby jcsuperstar » Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:00 am

is she Buddhist?

but a good way to get over yourself is to care about something or someone else
สัพเพ สัตตา สุขีตา โหนตุ

the mountain may be heavy in and of itself, but if you're not trying to carry it it's not heavy to you- Ajaan Suwat

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Dugu
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Re: If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Postby Dugu » Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:03 am


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Cittasanto
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Re: If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Postby Cittasanto » Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:04 am

be there for her and listen


He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.

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Dugu
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Re: If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Postby Dugu » Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:06 am


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jcsuperstar
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Re: If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Postby jcsuperstar » Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:07 am

สัพเพ สัตตา สุขีตา โหนตุ

the mountain may be heavy in and of itself, but if you're not trying to carry it it's not heavy to you- Ajaan Suwat

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Cittasanto
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Re: If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Postby Cittasanto » Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:08 am

have you talked to her? I mean actually talk, share your life with her


He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.

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Dugu
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Re: If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Postby Dugu » Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:10 am


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jcsuperstar
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Re: If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Postby jcsuperstar » Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:16 am

all i know is that when i was super low in life, and i mean low. some of what helped me was other people being around, comedy, lots of comedy, its pretty hard to feel down when youre laughing your head off, and goals, any kind of goals, although i would stay away from the type of goals that are easy to fail at as that is just going to reinforce any negative views. fixation on the self that is hurting isn't going to do much good, just remind her you don't have to believe everything you think. but cognitive dissidence can be a good thing, just remember the mind cant think two different things at once, thats why the comedy helps, and the goals help, your mind is fixated on funny not sad, a better future not the dreary past etc.
สัพเพ สัตตา สุขีตา โหนตุ

the mountain may be heavy in and of itself, but if you're not trying to carry it it's not heavy to you- Ajaan Suwat

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Dan74
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Re: If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Postby Dan74 » Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:43 am

Do metta meditation for her.

As much as you can, depending on how much you care.

Also related Tonglen practice may be good.

_/|\_
_/|\_

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pink_trike
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Re: If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Postby pink_trike » Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:48 am

Vision is Mind
Mind is Empty
Emptiness is Clear Light
Clear Light is Union
Union is Great Bliss

- Dawa Gyaltsen

---

Disclaimer: I'm a non-religious practitioner of Theravada, Mahayana/Vajrayana, and Tibetan Bon Dzogchen mind-training.

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cooran
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Re: If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Postby cooran » Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:55 am

---The trouble is that you think you have time---
---Worry is the Interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe---
---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---

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Laurens
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Re: If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Postby Laurens » Mon Nov 23, 2009 2:09 pm

That is a tough question. I guess what I would do is show that person kindness and generousity, I would do my best to bring them joy and show them the other side of things, hopefully that would lift their spirits. Let them truely know that you care for them, it might be all that they need.
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring."

Carl Sagan

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Dugu
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Re: If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Postby Dugu » Mon Nov 23, 2009 9:56 pm


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Dugu
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Re: If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Postby Dugu » Mon Nov 23, 2009 9:58 pm


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Dugu
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Re: If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Postby Dugu » Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:02 pm


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Dugu
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Re: If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Postby Dugu » Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:05 pm


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acinteyyo
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Re: If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Postby acinteyyo » Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:24 pm

Thag 1.20. Ajita - I do not fear death; nor do I long for life. I’ll lay down this body, aware and mindful.

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Dugu
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Re: If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

Postby Dugu » Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:40 pm



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