first 10 days of Vipassana,stars change into sensations
1st to 3rd July 1992....Developed concentration with very strong effort
due to curousity developed by sight of revelation at midnight.
Concentration was advocated by vipassana teacher in that session.
4th to 8th July 1992.... Teacher asked us to search for sensations from
top of head to toe. While I was imagining stars
and galaxis in the place of sensations throughout the body because of the
vivid dream of last night.
9th July................Teacher taught metta. I refused to listen even
because of power of inner Guru.
Later at home I continued my meditation for 12 hours or so everyday and slowly and slowly the association between stars of my dreams and senstions merged in my meditation. Only physical sensations remained and i continue to associate these physical feelings with stars and galaxis in my body universe even today. When sensations start changing with speed, I see dim light, flashing lights, brilliant lights, variety frequenciies of tremblings in inner parts of my body, sounds of variable frequencies producing drum noises or sitar singings.All these with closed eyes and in different parts of my body.
I do know that other students of vipassana are not seeing stars and galaxis, but they must surely be seeing these above mentioned physical items.
It was year 1993 approx.
I was meditating for 12 hours a day on the stars, galaxis, milky ways in my body thro the method of sensations. In fact my watching with awareness at a certain spot in my body will make the stars disappear, leaving behind in me a feeling of joy and attainment in me every day.
slowly the neighbouring stars will move in and i will go on with this process always wondering as to what will happen if stars are no more there.
One day a very dark milkyway (deep, dark, heavy and persisent sensation) appeared at the spot. I had a feeling of fear as well as adventure as to what happens if i watch it with awareness.
So I gathered my resolve and started the process. The movements in the sensations started accelerating.
During my earlier career I had built two factories six kilometers away from my site of meditation . Parent factory was small and second one was much larger. I had stoped going to factories and had handed over the factories for running to my son Sunil after recalling him back from america where he had nice career after doing his M.S from Albama university.
After a few days while i was meditating on those deep sensations in my body, my son came running in my room and told me that he has received a phone from the factory that it is on fire.
My fasicination on the movements on the sensations was so much that i refused to come out of room to help him with the crisis.
And my mind said that these sensations and your creation of factories are inter connected.
I also knew from my past experience that clearing of sensations will bring me joy, and probably some reward. I continued my meditation with more vigor.
After another 15 says or so, My son came with deep anguish and fear and told me that mysterous fire has broken out in second big factory and pleaded for help and support from me.
My reply to my son was " you go and fight this fire in the factory and I am also fighting this fire in meditation. If i leave my job of meditation, it will lead to disaster. Go and I am with you and everything will settle down".
Both fires created heavy financial losses. I had enough money for survival and it did not bother me.
And then came a day when my sensations started disinegrating and spreading around that area in my body, sensations started shooting out and disappearing . I knew that core of sensations has exploded and is ready for shrinking and subsequently disappearing.
And my son enters my room with his sisters and mother very seriously.
They give me the news that strikes have been declared in both factories and a goonda leader from ouside has created fear among workers. The factories may be locked out. They also said that something very bad and dangerous is happening due to my meditation. That my meditation method is serioulsy wrong. They also appealed to me that we should all go to meet a vipassana guru at Igatpuri (they thought that they were my Gurus) and find out the mistake in meditation.
I was not disturbed. In fact i was in joy. My feeling was that inner core of sensations has exploded and outer creation of mine are to be destroyed and rebuilt.
But immediate problem was my family who will not understand me and have to be calmed down. I closed my eyes and asked my inner mind. It said that in order to calm down the family , agree to their suggestion.
I said to my family "but the vipassana teachers condemn my method of meditation. They advised maximum of 2 or 3 hour of meditation in two sessions and not 12 hours as i do.They also advice metta at end of each session. They will disturb your mind further and I will not stop meditating."
My Inner mind said " whatever happens, no one will be able to move you away from your path of meditation" , and i agreed to go to Igatpuri.
After a few days we all went to Igatpuri from Pune (journey of 260 Km), met a vippasana guru. The guru after hearing us out said "This man is out to destroy your whole family. His meditation is totally wrong. We had one such case earlier. I can show you that person, who is totally mad and is moving in streets as a mad beggar. His whole family is crushed. Stop him before this happens to you as well"
But something different happened. All workers were paid off their full dues and something extra. They were also helped out with jobs. The spervisors were also guided and helped to start the same work outside on their own, and become owners.
But results were as my inner voice said. Our factories were given on lease rent within six months of lockout.. The lease rent per month was more than what we earned from factories. My son got free from my line of work with a steady rent income coming in. He had his own destiny and creation in mind. He started his own software work and is now flourishing more than he could ever imagine.
The milkyway of sensations was totally eradicated and brought in its place dhammas and joy to fill in the Suniata.
I learnt a deep Wisdom. Whatever happens to me outside or inside is my effect and i had planted the cause earlier
cause and effect