Buddha nature ver basic sadness

[upasaka]

When i focus on my inner state of mind, there is basic feeling of sadness, dumbness and anxiety. And these states of mind affect all my experiences and interactions with myself and with others. I would say i cannot feel joy at all. Sometimes i can feel it, but i cannot express it well enough through my emotions. I just live inside not outside...

In meditation i cannot get under these feelings...its always there.

Am I bad practitioner? Its connected with practising at all (dark night of the soul)? Is it depresion? How to break through it?

[ram peswani]

When i focus on my inner state of mind, there is basic feeling of sadness, dumbness and anxiety. And these states of mind affect all my experiences and interactions with myself and with others. I would say i cannot feel joy at all. Sometimes i can feel it, but i cannot express it well enough through my emotions. I just live inside not outside...

In meditation i cannot get under these feelings...its always there.

Am I bad practitioner? Its connected with practising at all (dark night of the soul)? Is it depresion? How to break through it?

You are aware that you are sad, dumb and anxious. This is good. Feed yourself that all this is impermanent and just be aware of these feelings if these feelings overtake you.

Believe me you are eradicating them and some day they will end. Each moment of your awareness will be a reward for you.

[Mr. G]

How to break through it?

Tonglen or metta bhavana may be helpful

[upasaka]

When i focus on my inner state of mind, there is basic feeling of sadness, dumbness and anxiety. And these states of mind affect all my experiences and interactions with myself and with others. I would say i cannot feel joy at all. Sometimes i can feel it, but i cannot express it well enough through my emotions. I just live inside not outside...

In meditation i cannot get under these feelings...its always there.

Am I bad practitioner? Its connected with practising at all (dark night of the soul)? Is it depresion? How to break through it?

You are aware that you are sad, dumb and anxious. This is good. Feed yourself that all this is impermanent and just be aware of these feelings if these feelings overtake you.

Believe me you are eradicating them and some day they will end. Each moment of your awareness will be a reward for you.

Thank you. Its quite hard to be aware if your mind is overhelmed by dark clouds of negative emotions but i will try. Its almost physical feeling of heaviness...

[ram peswani]

Thank you. Its quite hard to be aware if your mind is overhelmed by dark clouds of negative emotions but i will try. Its almost physical feeling of heaviness...

These negative emotions are inside you ( some earlier cause). And they inorder to survive will multiply. So continue the effort . Do not bother if you fail again and again. Go for metta if you despair. Brave are those who may fall and rise up again. Treat them as malignent cancer and cut them off with awareness.Lucky are those who know the enemy and have only to fight. Your awareness is indicating that half the battle is won and you are going to get total victory.
In order the negative emotions do not overtake you...follow this method given below''

Move your attention towards your physical body and try to see if any part of your physical body is asking for your attention. It may be curve of your lip, or lines on your head brow or twiching somewhere or pain deep inside some part of body. All mental emotions and physical discomforts are connected and it is easier to go to physical awareness . This is the beauty of vipassana science that Guatam Buddha left behind for us.

Tomorrow I am posting my personal experience on my serious situations I had faced and come out victorous every time.

[Dechen Norbu]

When i focus on my inner state of mind, there is basic feeling of sadness, dumbness and anxiety. And these states of mind affect all my experiences and interactions with myself and with others. I would say i cannot feel joy at all. Sometimes i can feel it, but i cannot express it well enough through my emotions. I just live inside not outside...

In meditation i cannot get under these feelings...its always there.

Am I bad practitioner? Its connected with practising at all (dark night of the soul)? Is it depresion? How to break through it?

It could be depression, mate. Just in case you should check that out.
I doubt it is connected with practice. It isn't impossible, but not likely. You should talk with someone qualified, friend.

Keep us posted.

[catmoon]

When i focus on my inner state of mind, there is basic feeling of sadness, dumbness and anxiety. And these states of mind affect all my experiences and interactions with myself and with others. I would say i cannot feel joy at all. Sometimes i can feel it, but i cannot express it well enough through my emotions. I just live inside not outside...

In meditation i cannot get under these feelings...its always there.

Am I bad practitioner? Its connected with practising at all (dark night of the soul)? Is it depresion? How to break through it?

congratulations, you have definitely begun the correct path. You now know something of the nature of your mind, and like all of us, it's not an awfully pleasant encounter. Let's see, we need some practical suggestions...

1. Meditate in a bright place. If you can find a place to meditate at altitude, so much the better. A bright place can also be a frame of mind, so you can do a short visualization of pleasant, sunny surroundings at the start of a meditation session.

2. Recognize the you are not the darkness and sadness. You are, conventionally speaking, the possessor of your mind, rather than being your mind. Since you are not your mind, but the owner of it, it's time to start tidying up a little. Don't let darkness become the object of meditation.

3. Think of a time when you felt unconditional love for someone, (or something), complete caring. Focus on that feeling, hold it and use it as the object of meditation. Avoid using ex-girlfriends or other objects of physical attraction.