thecap wrote:Hi thornbush
You don't have to lose a single word about the Dharma!
Be the Dharma.
Once people start noticing your extraordinary calmness, serenity or situational wisdom, they will be curious.
When they are curious, their mind will be open.
They will try to emulate your calmness, serenity and wisdom. They will come, ask, and listen - all by themselves.
Then you can share "verbal Dharma" according to their and your abilities.
That is, if their mind is not ripen, show them virtue, and if it is ripen, teach them the noble truths and meditation.
Exactly. I have a good example of this that's just happened over the last few days. I am still good friends with my ex, and we chat a lot. He's having trouble meeting women, and was asking me for my advice. He was saying some specific things about how women are, generalizing them in an unproductive way, because he's been hurt in the past. I said that perhaps bringing a jaded past into his present interactions with women could be a hindrance. I told him that if it were me, I would try to be more mindful in my experience meeting someone new, that being "fully present in the moment" would give me a chance to evaluate the situation for what it is, what is happening right now, and that I would try not to be overcome with my preconceived notions of bad past experiences. I didn't tell him to do this per say, simply said that's what I would try to do in a similar situation (his issue is that he distrusts women). I very casually said that although mindfulness is known as a Buddhist practice, it's really something everyone can practice, Buddhism aside.
So he took great interest in this. The next day he asked me more about mindfulness. He asked how to practice this mindfulness with women, to not judge them based on past experiences while not being a sucker either, and totally forgetting genuine lessons learned from the past. I thought this was an interesting question, and we pondered together how we might take into consideration these past lessons, without letting negativity overwhelm our present moment. Learning from the past, but not letting it dictate a current scenario.
I don't think he'll be a Buddhist any time soon, but that's okay, I'm not trying to "convert" him. I just tried to incorporate my studies into my advice, putting it into practice essentially.
I think that is a good example of sharing the dharma with others. I think the idea is not to "make others buddhist", but to share the path by example, and as thecap said, invoking curiosity often results.
...but do you think Buddhist Dharma is about spreading a "religious virus" or rather about compassion, the will to help people help themselves?
