It is very easy to maintain composure and Buddha-likeness when things are fine and going well, or even if they are a little stressful. Now, they are not fine nor a little stressful.
My girlfriend-now-fiance is a minor. 17 years old, nearly 18. She lives with her mother, who is an alcoholic, and apparently needs psychiatric help, but instead engages and emotionally destructive behavior both toward herself and her daughter (my fiance). I was staying with them, and my influence in staying was positive; active conflicts lessened, I helped around the house to help ease tensions, and so on.
Yesterday, for some reason, her mother decided to accuse both of us of "planning against her," among other things. She threw myself and Ali (my fiance) out of the house, telling us not to come back. Luckily, I kept my apartment across town and we went there. Then, later, her mom called fuming, demanding Ali return home. I told her to go home to try to keep conflict to a minimum. Her mom acted physically violent toward her, and Ali, smart as she is, recorded the whole incident on her phone. She then fled to a friend's house, then came back to my apartment. We then called the police. However, in the state we live in there are no laws concerning emancipation of a minor, so she was forced to go back to her mom's house, despite providing evidence of abuse.
I started feeling powerless, and still do, to an extent. In many religions, people can pull strength in claims that their God or deity has "a plan," or some such thing. However, Buddhism, in my view, has to do much with the power of the self. If I lack faith in my own ability, then what?
The Sangha. There's a reason there are three jewels, and that the Sangha is one of them. I was once told, long ago, that the Sangha is there for support since life in general and the dharma path can be so difficult. That they can help you sort of "not fall off the bandwagon," to put it in vernacular.
So I come to you, my Sangha, the only one I have access to at the moment, and humbly request- no, not request- beg for your prayers. In a time where I am feeling like I have no power, perhaps those of you who feel empowered could contribute where my current lack of faith cannot.
Thank you, a thousand time thank you and a thousand times bless you,
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OM TARE TUTTARE TURE SOHA
"The world is dark when you're depressed; your thoughts have the power to invent your world." -Courage Wolf
"It is more important to be kind than to be right."
(I acknowledge I do not follow the quote above this, that is why it is there! so I will be reminded every time I post!