ZenLem wrote:I have a Zen teacher, but he is anti-social. When I first came to the center I go to, I would try and talk to him after practice and he really couldn't give a flying two-bit dung pile about what was going on in my life. So, fresh out of college, I moved to NYC and he was very panicked about this fact, and at the time, told me it was his opinion that was a mistake, despite the fact I am an actor and NYC is the place to be for that, although I was still attending at the center, after my move.
Fast forward to today, the center is on the verge of financial collapse after being in the same place for ten years, I have been there six years, and everyone is trying to figure out ways to keep/find new interest, and structure our fiances better. The glaring problem to me though, being, no one is talking about our teacher's tendencies to be kinda of a grumpy old man, both in response to student's questions and in conversation. I admit, he is quite vigorous, and powerful, with a great emotional range and four decades of meditation under his belt. He is a qualified Zen teacher, but, something about the situation has me awry.
On the one hand, we have this great teacher, but on the other, our center lacks a certain "fun", light-hearted spirit, that I feel is keeping people away. So for the sake of the middle path, I have been wanting to try and show that more sociable, less direct, more forgiving aspect, but I don't feel my point is being felt or noticed.
So what do I do? I want to talk to my teacher, but I feel he will shut me down with some Zen BS, i.e., turning the whole situation onto me in some metaphorical abstract sense of it, which has me even more demoralized about actually bringing it up, or just explaining my reasons for leaving. Since it takes me about an hour of public transportation to get there, which use to be no big deal when I first started going, but now feels like "ugh".
Do I bail, or try and stay and get things back on course? I am thoroughly in a state of mixed emotions on this.
Urgyen Chodron wrote:Teacher grumpy
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