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where to go from here? - Dhamma Wheel

where to go from here?

A discussion on all aspects of Theravāda Buddhism
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Cittasanto
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where to go from here?

Postby Cittasanto » Thu Sep 10, 2009 12:37 am

ok so as some of you may know I was seeking to become a bhikkhu a while ago, but chose to get into a relationship with someone I fell inlove with and have been living with for over a year now.
give me some suggestions of places to continue my "Quest" as she no longer want to be with me for what ever reason, and I don't really want to be here in this situation with nowhere else to go locally to live while I look.

EDIT - forgot to mention would be better if the place was in the UK


He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.

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Ben
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Re: where to go from here?

Postby Ben » Thu Sep 10, 2009 1:25 am

Hi Manapa
I'm sorry that your relationship did not work out. For what its worth - keep in mind that everything is anicca - even love.
I think a good contact for you at this time would be Bhikkhu Pesala who runs the 'aimwell' website and who occassionally visits us here on Dhamma Wheel.
I am sure he would have some suggestions that might be suitable for you.
Whatever happens, please keep your friends here informed!
Metta

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

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BlackBird
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Re: where to go from here?

Postby BlackBird » Thu Sep 10, 2009 1:28 am

Just thought i'd pop in and say:
"Go for gold" Manapa :smile:

All the best with seeking ordination!

If you're dead set on remaining in the U.K then here's a link to a list of Monasteries of the Ajahn Chah lineage, to which a good reputation is spread
http://www.forestsangha.org/index.php?o ... 0&Itemid=9

There are Monasteries in Burma and Sri Lanka which are very dedicated to Meditation also.
is one such which has a good reputation for being quite intensive in the meditation aspect.

I second Ben's recommendation too.

I was once told that a good measuring stick of a Sangha is how well the Vinaya code is adhered to. To get a feel for this you really need to stay at the Monastery for a period of time I guess.

I'm no expert on the topic in any case so I look forward to reading some more informed responses.
Again, its great news to hear you're going for ordination Manapa and I wish you well in all your endeavors.

:anjali:
Jack
"For a disciple who has conviction in the Teacher's message & lives to penetrate it, what accords with the Dhamma is this:
'The Blessed One is the Teacher, I am a disciple. He is the one who knows, not I." -

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retrofuturist
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Re: where to go from here?

Postby retrofuturist » Thu Sep 10, 2009 1:36 am

Greetings Manapa,

What about the monestary where Ajahn Sumedho resides?

Metta,
Retro. :)
"Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education." - Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh

"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)

"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead" - Thomas Paine

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Re: where to go from here?

Postby Cittasanto » Thu Sep 10, 2009 1:38 am

Hi Ben retro & Jack,
well I have opted for the couch, so PJs and duvet at the moment!

I have already contacted one of the Monestaries on the list you linked to earlier Jack, and just waiting for a responce from them before I try another one!

I will be spending less time on the net, while I look for alternative arangements.

and amaravati is next on my list!


He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.

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retrofuturist
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Re: where to go from here?

Postby retrofuturist » Thu Sep 10, 2009 1:41 am

Greetings Manapa,

It would be great if you could keep us informed on "the process" because it will doubtlessly be of interest, if not practical interest (!) for some members.

Wishing you all the best.

Metta,
Retro. :)
"Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education." - Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh

"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)

"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead" - Thomas Paine

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christopher:::
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Re: where to go from here?

Postby christopher::: » Thu Sep 10, 2009 2:08 am

Sorry to hear this has been a rough time, Manapa. Sometimes heartbreak and conflict can be a good opportunity, to untangle (and better understand) some of our attachments.

:namaste:
"As Buddhists, we should aim to develop relationships that are not predominated by grasping and clinging. Our relationships should be characterised by the brahmaviharas of metta (loving kindness), mudita (sympathetic joy), karuna (compassion), and upekkha (equanimity)."
~post by Ben, Jul 02, 2009

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David N. Snyder
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Re: where to go from here?

Postby David N. Snyder » Thu Sep 10, 2009 2:47 am

Image




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David N. Snyder
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Re: where to go from here?

Postby David N. Snyder » Thu Sep 10, 2009 2:49 am

Image




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Cittasanto
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Re: where to go from here?

Postby Cittasanto » Thu Sep 10, 2009 3:16 am



He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.

User avatar
David N. Snyder
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Re: where to go from here?

Postby David N. Snyder » Thu Sep 10, 2009 3:45 am

Image




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Ben
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Re: where to go from here?

Postby Ben » Thu Sep 10, 2009 4:17 am

I think it was Charles Bukowski who said Love is a mad dog from hell. Despite his drug and alcohol addled brain, I think he was onto something there.
I've also seen it written somewhere - another sentiment that I agree with - Love is the mother of misery. Better to find these truths out for ourselves, early, than to continue to live in delusion.
Take care Manapa!

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

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tiltbillings
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Re: where to go from here?

Postby tiltbillings » Thu Sep 10, 2009 5:23 am


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appicchato
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Re: where to go from here?

Postby appicchato » Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:05 am


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tiltbillings
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Re: where to go from here?

Postby tiltbillings » Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:24 am


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retrofuturist
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Re: where to go from here?

Postby retrofuturist » Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:26 am

Greetings,

It depends on how you define love, doesn't it?

At one end of the spectrum there's the brahma-vihara of metta... and at the other side there's lust... and love can mean anything (and often multiple places) along that spectrum.

Metta,
Retro. :)
"Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education." - Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh

"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)

"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead" - Thomas Paine

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pink_trike
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Re: where to go from here?

Postby pink_trike » Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:39 am

For what it's worth, good teachers generally discourage people from making the kind of decision you're considering making when they find themselves in the kind of circumstances you're describing.

Whatever you decide, I wish you well...
Vision is Mind
Mind is Empty
Emptiness is Clear Light
Clear Light is Union
Union is Great Bliss

- Dawa Gyaltsen

---

Disclaimer: I'm a non-religious practitioner of Theravada, Mahayana/Vajrayana, and Tibetan Bon Dzogchen mind-training.

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tiltbillings
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Re: where to go from here?

Postby tiltbillings » Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:43 am


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Ben
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Re: where to go from here?

Postby Ben » Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:59 am

“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

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christopher:::
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Re: where to go from here?

Postby christopher::: » Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:37 am

"As Buddhists, we should aim to develop relationships that are not predominated by grasping and clinging. Our relationships should be characterised by the brahmaviharas of metta (loving kindness), mudita (sympathetic joy), karuna (compassion), and upekkha (equanimity)."
~post by Ben, Jul 02, 2009


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