CSEe wrote:Hi laura , is hard for me to explain my view , so I hope you could try since my english is not good .
You see , to me " awareness" is a measurement of how much we understand Buddha but " knowledge" in our current world is measurement of knowning .
Is two different topic .
As from my "awareness" I am aware that I am sincere of my intention of learning here but my action might lead you to think I am ego .
Your remarks infact provide me " knowledge" of my action , the information that maybe not known to me .
For that information , I should feel glad of your kindness / concern for my own betterment .
In Buddha , we can only "see" our self from others but know ourself from our own "awareness"
That is my point when I say all books / texts should only limited as knowledge but NOT referral to Buddha .
All kind of info / feedbacks is "knowledge" , only by self exploration free from ego we will gain our awareness...
Yes CSEe, I think I understand that you don't wish to study and absorb the teachings of the Buddha in that way. Nor do you wish to listen to lectures from learned people. Perhaps you have had negative experiences, I don't know. I hope that's not the case. That's why I've suggested in the past that you might enjoy a light form of meditation. It can be very investigative and a way to discover as we explore this universe called the mind. It could heighten your awareness. It's merely a suggestion from a humble practitioner who is also on the path.