Let's say that a certain bodhisattva is bursting with sexual energy, at times. "Sexual energy," is the right term because it's not quite the same thing as sexual arousal. It's like sexual arousal, but it's a very subtle, subconscious thing that pervades everyday life, whereas sexual arousal is something that happens in response to a particular stimuli.
Symptoms: A feeling of warm pleasure throughout the entire body, feelings of masculinity, strength, power, virility, violence, dark energy; like testosterone. At times, this feeling manifests as a solid, tightly-packed ball in the center of the abdomen (not the same thing as anxiety -- anxiety sits higher up, in the chest -- this sits in the stomach). It even feels a bit uncomfortable, like somebody shoved a cannonball in your stomach, and you're walking around with it, stuck inside your dantian. It's a big ball of hateful and violent sexual desire. You want to beat somebody up or have sex, because the ball of energy is there and it's just so strong. When the opposite sex is teased, this energy grows. The energy allows for greater concentration, for exercise or for mindfulness, but it can also feel like a drunken stupor. Also, another important thing to remember is that there is never a loss of control or a loss of consciousness; there are never any grossly immoral or harmful sexual behaviors.
Now, here's my question: How does one manipulate this energy positively?
- Direct it to my limbs, letting it leave the body
- Dissolve it in the abdomen
- Consolidate it in the abdomen, making it grow and grow (making the ball bigger and denser)
- Release it through wholesome activities (exercise, cleaning, etc.).
- Do nothing. Simply be mindful of it, acting skillfully, allowing the feeling to pass.
I suppose I should also mention that when reflecting on emptiness, sometimes I have a choking feeling of breathlessness and lifelessness. And the ball mentioned above feels more like a black hole, pit of quick sand, a sink or toilet draining, etc..