Lost and hesitant to find teacher

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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby Gyaltsen Tashi » Thu Dec 12, 2013 1:56 pm

dharmagoat wrote:
Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:
dharmagoat wrote:What have you read that you find uplifting? Considering your situation I would recommend focusing on this. There is definitely Buddhist literature that can have the opposite effect.

I find parts of the Sanghata Sutra have that intended effect on me.

Are you familiar with the Chenrezik Puja? That might be a practice that would suit you.


Not if you are not in neutral gear, and can't get into it at all.

But to answer the question, I like Tangton Gyalpo's sadhana when I feel OK.

I can be OK with daily practice for a week, 7-line prayer, Vajra Guru mantra, Chenrezig sadhana. It's easy and doesn't take an hour. Then after one week, it hits me and knocked out for the next week.

It's not just practice. It's difficult to do anything productive. And then there are these existential doubts. Nothing matters. This is pointless. This is stupid. Shit happens.

I can only curl up and try to do self-absorbed "Me-time", trying to recreate a God realm of sensual desire to soothe myself.

Maybe I am just lazy and doth protest too much....

Regards,
Gyaltsen Tashi
Gyaltsen Tashi
 
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby dharmagoat » Thu Dec 12, 2013 2:06 pm

Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:It's not just practice. It's difficult to do anything productive. And then there are these existential doubts. Nothing matters. This is pointless. This is stupid. Shit happens.

I can only curl up and try to do self-absorbed "Me-time", trying to recreate a God realm of sensual desire to soothe myself.

Maybe I am just lazy and doth protest too much....

I have a similar experience, especially with regard to existential doubts. I derive the most encouragement from directing my actions toward the benefit of beings, both symbolically and in practical ways.
May all beings be happy
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby Gyaltsen Tashi » Thu Dec 12, 2013 2:14 pm

dharmagoat wrote:
Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:It's not just practice. It's difficult to do anything productive. And then there are these existential doubts. Nothing matters. This is pointless. This is stupid. Shit happens.

I can only curl up and try to do self-absorbed "Me-time", trying to recreate a God realm of sensual desire to soothe myself.

Maybe I am just lazy and doth protest too much....

I have a similar experience, especially with regard to existential doubts. I derive the most encouragement from directing my actions toward the benefit of beings, both symbolically and in practical ways.


I maintain a mental health news blog for the benefit of others, but there's no feedback. I'm like always looking at the stats, to see if anyone benefit, but of course it can be also an ego thing.

Regards,
Gyaltsen Tashi
Gyaltsen Tashi
 
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby Gyaltsen Tashi » Thu Dec 12, 2013 2:23 pm

I feel my energy returning, and will probably restart formal practice tomorrow.

Also, I plan to read some of these books on depression:

Shoot the Damn Dog

Healing Without Freud or Prozac

The Depression Cure

Unstuck

Maybe I'll share what I plan to do when it strikes.

If it is off-topic, please feel free to split this thread.

Gyaltsen Tashi
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby dharmagoat » Thu Dec 12, 2013 2:48 pm

Sounds like a plan. :smile:
May all beings be happy
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby Gyaltsen Tashi » Fri Dec 20, 2013 4:45 am

Hi,

I have a teacher in mind, but I'm still hesitant. I haven't "examined" him. I've met him about three times and he speaks Chinese. I used to think the "50 verses of guru devotion" applies right at the start. I am very relieved to find out this is not the case from a thread on Dharmawheel, is that so? But then what rules would apply if I were to start off by asking for instructions and transmission on a "simple" practice like Riwo Sangcho? Do I have to treat this lama like a guru, or can I treat him as a "spiritual friend"?

Regards,
Gyaltsen Tashi
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby smcj » Fri Dec 20, 2013 7:06 am

Take him as a spiritual friend.

Traditionally the technical threshold for taking someone as your "guru*" is taking initiation with somebody. If you respect that, the safest course of action is to take initiations with big time lamas with impeccable reputations and keep your local lama as a spiritual friend. Because it is guaranteed that if you were to spend a lot of time with somebody you are going to find defects and faults, etc. That way you keep pure view of the remote lama, and having a sane basis for a healthy relationship with the local lama.



Since there are some translators here I feel compelled to say that I know Skt. "guru"=Tib. "lama". But somehow in English guru seems more heavy-duty.
A human being has his limits. And thus, in every conceivable way, with every possible means, he tries to make the teaching enter into his own limits. ChNN
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