Lost and hesitant to find teacher

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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby Berry » Mon Dec 09, 2013 6:28 pm

reddust wrote:one of the dangers sharing a teachers name online here in America is strangers calling them up and stalking them. there are some real sickos out there.


I think that's one of the dangers on the internet in general. I've encountered some worrying sickos both on and off the internet in the past and felt frightened on some occasions.

Teachers can also be very vunerable if they travel and walk about freely. Even in teachings I've seen people calling out nasty things.
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby reddust » Mon Dec 09, 2013 6:37 pm

Me too Berry, best to be cautious. I have met most of my Dharma friends and teachers from online as well. I have been blessed meeting them at teachings and retreats. So i am careful and open at the same time :group:
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby dharmagoat » Mon Dec 09, 2013 7:31 pm

reddust wrote:one of the dangers sharing a teachers name online here in America is strangers calling them up and stalking them. there are some real sickos out there.

Calling them "sickos" doesn't help anyone.

Also, let's not lose focus as to what this thread is about.
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby Simon E. » Mon Dec 09, 2013 8:12 pm

Berry wrote:
Simon E. wrote:If you spend time in real world discussions with Dharma practitioners it is the most common and normal question in the world....Why wouldn't it be ?
Its an obvious way to put replies in a context.


When I have chats with other Dharma practitioners away from a computer, I don't question them about their teacher, nor they mine, there are plenty of other things to talk about.

I also think it's being rather obsessive and odd to address a complete stranger who you haven't even seen, with "My teacher is so-and-so, who's yours ?" in the middle of a discussion about vegetarianism, in my case .

Its like having to answer intrusive questions and be in some unfriendly man's guru cult, if you're a cautious woman like myself, yet want to chat to other practitioners in an internet group.

Wow...
I'll tell you what Berry, I'll solve your immediate problem for you.
I have placed you on my ' foe ' list. Not because see you as a foe, but because I wont
be able to read your posts and so my replies wont cause you offence.
You might want to consider making it reciprocal, then our paths wont cross at all.
:namaste:
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby Simon E. » Mon Dec 09, 2013 8:20 pm

pemachophel wrote:IME, among Tibetan Buddhists in Asia, it is extremely common and considered normal to ask someone, even a complete stranger, who their Teacher is. This is not considered rude, intrusive, or inappropriate.

:namaste:

In my experience its common and normal among Vajra and Dzogchen people in the west too.

:namaste:
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby Berry » Mon Dec 09, 2013 10:28 pm

Simon E. wrote:
Wow...
I'll tell you what Berry, I'll solve your immediate problem for you.
I have placed you on my ' foe ' list. Not because see you as a foe, but because I wont
be able to read your posts and so my replies wont cause you offence.
You might want to consider making it reciprocal, then our paths wont cross at all.
:namaste:


Lol, life's too short for this!

Time for me to practice away from a computer screen.

Goodnight :hi:
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby Gyaltsen Tashi » Wed Dec 11, 2013 1:48 pm

Sorry that I neglected this thread. I was feeling down and I had to do my own thing for a few days. Sometimes I sleep for several days. This time I read. I have been reading -online and offline- for many days now to keep my mind occupied, so that the depression will pass. Now I'm OK but so tired....

Hope to post replies sometime.

Regards,
Gyaltsen Tashi
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby Gyaltsen Tashi » Thu Dec 12, 2013 10:38 am

dharmagoat wrote:
Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:Would any teacher have me?

Of course. You need the Dharma as much as anyone. Seek out a teacher in your own time, there is no urgency.

Being unhappy is not a crime. In some ways it may actually help you see through the illusory nature of our daily lives.

Take heart, and stay with it. It will help if you focus on the things that bring you happiness. Make sure you look after your health.

All the best.


But if I ask a teacher to teach a practice, he's going to say "Are you going to do it everyday without fail?"

I can only answer: "Only when I am well...."

Lame excuse, right?

Regards,
Gyaltsen Tashi
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby Minjeay » Thu Dec 12, 2013 10:55 am

Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:Would any teacher have me?


What do you think a teacher is good for if you don't do daily practice?

20 Min a day, EVERY day, is of much higher worth than one hour every two weeks, or even once a month or once half a year. Should be obvious, isn't it?

Basically, if you don't practice and integrate this practice into your life, a teacher can not do much, if at all, for you.
On the other side, if you can do practice one hour a day, you seem to have some practice, haven't you?
So, just do it :-)

If you like this Tibetan stuff, I'd recommend Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche's "Not for happiness".
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby Gyaltsen Tashi » Thu Dec 12, 2013 11:02 am

Jangchup Donden wrote:
Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:My Dharma practice diary shows I missed Jan to Mar without any practice. I have no recollection of what happened.


If you have no recollection of what happened for three months, you might be suffering from some kind of bi-polar disorder. It would be good to find a professional psychologist to talk to.


I supposedly have schizophrenia, although I don't hear voices. I think I couldn't care less how I spent the time, that's why I couldn't recollect anything.

Come to think of it, I can't recall more than one or two things that happened to me this whole year. I think I should mention this to my psychiatrist.

Regards,
Gyaltsen Tashi
Last edited by Gyaltsen Tashi on Thu Dec 12, 2013 11:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby Gyaltsen Tashi » Thu Dec 12, 2013 11:06 am

porpoise wrote:
Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:Would any teacher have me?


Of course. What might be most helpful at the moment is just to have some face-to-face contact with other Buddhists - is there a local group or temple you can visist? There is no need to make any early commitments, just spend some time with like-minded people. Also try to do a little meditation each day, even 5 or 10 minutes can be significant.


I don't do social anymore. I could elaborate if you want...but it seems like gossip.

Regards,
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby futerko » Thu Dec 12, 2013 11:28 am

I think that, considering your situation, it is fine to make sorting your head out your main practice at the moment and not care too much about doing formal sitting practices.

I would recommend reading and listening to teachings more with a plan to reach an understanding of yourself and the Buddhist view.
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby Simon E. » Thu Dec 12, 2013 11:28 am

Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:
dharmagoat wrote:
Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:Would any teacher have me?

Of course. You need the Dharma as much as anyone. Seek out a teacher in your own time, there is no urgency.

Being unhappy is not a crime. In some ways it may actually help you see through the illusory nature of our daily lives.

Take heart, and stay with it. It will help if you focus on the things that bring you happiness. Make sure you look after your health.

All the best.


But if I ask a teacher to teach a practice, he's going to say "Are you going to do it everyday without fail?"

I can only answer: "Only when I am well...."

Lame excuse, right?

Regards,
Gyaltsen Tashi

I strongly suspect that if you tell a teacher your position right now she/he will NOT make unreasonable demands.
But there's only one way to find out.
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby kirtu » Thu Dec 12, 2013 11:32 am

Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:OK. the thing is I get depressed and I am unable, nay, unwilling to do practice (formal practice at least) for 2 weeks to a month at a time. My Dharma practice diary shows I missed Jan to Mar without any practice. I have no recollection of what happened.

When I am happy and stable, I can practice for an hour at a time, but I am seldom happy and stable.

I am saddened yesterday and I fear I am spiralling into another depression.

Would any teacher have me?


Yes of course. But they probably won't have deep insight concerning your psychological issues. Some teachers would not permit you to do retreat for example unless you were able to consistently function correctly during retreat. This may not be an issue for you.

Where do you live?

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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby Gyaltsen Tashi » Thu Dec 12, 2013 1:08 pm

futerko wrote:I think that, considering your situation, it is fine to make sorting your head out your main practice at the moment and not care too much about doing formal sitting practices.

I would recommend reading and listening to teachings more with a plan to reach an understanding of yourself and the Buddhist view.


I need to find a way to shift into neutral gear, reliably and quickly, without losing days or even weeks and months to recurring depression.

In between lows, I have been reading for years. But Buddhism is so wide. Maybe I'll post the titles of the books I have, read and unread, for some guidance. Please help, if you can.

Regards,
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby dharmagoat » Thu Dec 12, 2013 1:13 pm

Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:In between lows, I have been reading for years. But Buddhism is so wide. Maybe I'll post the titles of the books I have, read and unread, for some guidance. Please help, if you can.

What have you read that you find uplifting? Considering your situation I would recommend focusing on this. There is definitely Buddhist literature that can have the opposite effect.
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby Gyaltsen Tashi » Thu Dec 12, 2013 1:19 pm

kirtu wrote:
Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:OK. the thing is I get depressed and I am unable, nay, unwilling to do practice (formal practice at least) for 2 weeks to a month at a time. My Dharma practice diary shows I missed Jan to Mar without any practice. I have no recollection of what happened.

When I am happy and stable, I can practice for an hour at a time, but I am seldom happy and stable.

I am saddened yesterday and I fear I am spiralling into another depression.

Would any teacher have me?


Yes of course. But they probably won't have deep insight concerning your psychological issues. Some teachers would not permit you to do retreat for example unless you were able to consistently function correctly during retreat. This may not be an issue for you.

Where do you live?

Kirt


I wouldn't even qualify for online gars that require 2 hrs of so of practice a day.

I am very neurotic (in personal communication, Malcolm said I am worse than a Catholic). I am constantly having guilt trips.

I live in Singapore, where things are increasingly difficult. The good thing about Singapore is that there is access to Dharma. The bad thing is that it is difficult to get a job if one is mentally ill.

And of course the government is a pain. But I'll leave it at that.

I am a freelance translator, am on translatorscafe. (I tried getting on proz.com but the site says my IP is malicious. That is not a good thing to say to a paranoid schizohphrenic!)

I would hate to relocate to let's say China for the job and translation opportunities and lose contact with Dharma. Here in Singapore where many Rinpoches come, I can just go to certain events anonymously, hope not to see anyone, and have no Dharma centre stress.

I am planning to see this Rinpoche who speaks Chinese, regularly. Maybe. I'll slip in when there's no puja or teaching and when nobody's around. But as I said, I'm hesistant. I don't really know the source of this resistance.

I seems I am putting down my mother constantly when I always mention that she doesn't like Vajrayana, but it is a consideration. I often have to lie and slip out and save up if I'm going to a Dharma event.

Anyway, why did you ask where I live?

Regards,
Gyaltsen Tashi
Last edited by Gyaltsen Tashi on Thu Dec 12, 2013 1:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby Gyaltsen Tashi » Thu Dec 12, 2013 1:21 pm

dharmagoat wrote:
Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:In between lows, I have been reading for years. But Buddhism is so wide. Maybe I'll post the titles of the books I have, read and unread, for some guidance. Please help, if you can.

What have you read that you find uplifting? Considering your situation I would recommend focusing on this. There is definitely Buddhist literature that can have the opposite effect.


I find parts of the Sanghata Sutra have that intended effect on me.

Regards,
Gyaltsen Tashi
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby dharmagoat » Thu Dec 12, 2013 1:37 pm

Gyaltsen Tashi wrote:
dharmagoat wrote:What have you read that you find uplifting? Considering your situation I would recommend focusing on this. There is definitely Buddhist literature that can have the opposite effect.

I find parts of the Sanghata Sutra have that intended effect on me.

Are you familiar with the Chenrezik Puja? That might be a practice that would suit you.
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Re: Lost and hesitant to find teacher

Postby Gyaltsen Tashi » Thu Dec 12, 2013 1:44 pm

kirtu wrote: Some teachers would not permit you to do retreat for example unless you were able to consistently function correctly during retreat. This may not be an issue for you.

Kirt


A side issue is what kinds of practices are appropriate for me? I am happy I am not particularly hang up on higher practices? I have no idea Vajrakilya is for. I believe it when they tell you accomplishing Chenrezig or Manjushri or chanting six-syllabi mantra, Vajra Guru mantra, 7-line prayer is all you need.

I would like to do nongdro though, but there are all sorts of obstacles - my mother not approving, the centre doesn't seem welcoming etc.

Honestly, I don't know what Vajrayana can do to my state of mind, which might explain some of the resistance.

Regards,
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